My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
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09-06-2016, 08:26 AM
My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Yesterday, my oldest daughter's grandparents (on her mother's side obviously) said that they wanted her to come and stay with them for a week and go to vacation bible school. They didn't ask last year (which was the first year I even knew she existed), but they're asking this year.

Right off the bat I'm against it for a couple of reasons: #1. I think there's better things to learn about than "Jesus". Seems like a total waste of time. and #2. I don't want to lose time with my daughter. I mean I just found out about her last year, and she's already 11, almost 12.

I told them that I'd have to talk to my wife about it. (They don't know we're atheists. It's never really come up. I don't think they'd fight me for custody, but I'm a little worried they could if they found out we're atheists given their Christianity.)

I asked my daughter if she wanted to go. I mean ultimately I wanted the decision to be up to her. My wife agreed. I mean as much as I didn't want her to go, if she wanted to go I wasn't going to stop her. She said she didn't want to go. As far as I can tell, she doesn't believe in God anymore. Of course I don't tell her grandparents this. They'd probably just see it as her being angry at god because her mom died. Anyway, I call them back to tell them that she said she doesn't want to go, but that we'd try to find a good time for her to spend with them (As my wife said, NOT during that week, because they'd probably send her against her will). They didn't want to accept that, so they asked to speak to her. She told them that she didn't want to go. They tried to bribe her. She still didn't want to go.

Then they call me back this morning, telling me that I need to send her because it's important for her to get saved, and know Jesus. "Sometimes parents have to make kids do things they don't want to in order to save them." Apparently her mother sent her to this vacation bible school (my daughter says it was only because it's free daycare and her parents wouldn't stop pestering her about it).

I'm not sure how--or even if I can--to get them to stop pushing this. My daughter doesn't want to go. Honestly I don't think she should go. Especially not against her will. They don't seem to be taking no for an answer. This hasn't been a problem before. They're really set on this. (They're very religious people. They even bought her this hideous bible for girls that makes me want to puke. You should see it, it's awful. I mean you'd think at least they'd take out all the rampant sexism, but nope.) They're nice people outside their faith, but they consider it VERY important. I told them that I wasn't going to send her if she didn't want to go, and that ultimately it's up to her. Then they bribed me! They have this idea in their head, and I don't think they're going to drop it. They keep bringing up how I didn't let her go to Christmas Mass with them. Right now I've got my phone off, hoping they'll get the message. I'm not sure they will though.
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09-06-2016, 08:31 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
I actually enjoyed church camp as a kid. Though I was already quite comfortable with my atheism, but at the same time more than accustomed to concealing my screwed up thoughts in an attempt to fit in when necessary. So playing the church game was a small price to pay for a month of hiking and water skiing.

But if she doesn't want to go, my advice is just keep saying no. If they won't take no for an answer, then just keep saying it until she's 18.

'Murican Canadian
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09-06-2016, 08:37 AM (This post was last modified: 09-06-2016 08:48 AM by skyking.)
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(09-06-2016 08:31 AM)yakherder Wrote:  I actually enjoyed church camp as a kid. Though I was already quite comfortable with my atheism, but at the same time more than accustomed to concealing my screwed up thoughts in an attempt to fit in when necessary. So playing the church game was a small price to pay for a month of hiking and water skiing.

But if she doesn't want to go, my advice is just keep saying no. If they won't take no for an answer, then just keep saying it until she's 18.

Well, you're an odd duck so that would make sense Big Grin

Ash, they are crossing a line with both you, your wife and daughter. Tell them you support your daughter and they would be wise to treat her as more of an adult themselves if they want to have a continuing relationship with her. Forcing her to go to camp for a week is a great way to close doors.
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09-06-2016, 08:52 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
No. It's final if you make it final. I wouldn't argue with nor negotiate, just NO. Do not engage in any further conversation about it and they will get the message. You do not have to justify your decision nor does your daughter. If you can't stand firm against religious bullying how do you expect your daughter to learn how.

Good on you that you let her choose, now back her up. Letting her down on this could have long term ramifications. Good luck!

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09-06-2016, 08:52 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Just make sure you make the daughter aware that mythology, however well painted, is just mythology --- and should not be embraced as "truth"....

Also make sure she knows that some people get really pissed off when you tell them Santa/The Easter Bunny/Sasquatch/or "God" - are just stories.........

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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09-06-2016, 09:08 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
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Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-06-2016, 09:16 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Or you could work out a compromise. She goes to church camp to mingle with religious people if they agree to go to hell to mingle with atheists.

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09-06-2016, 09:41 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
I'm starting to think I should have told them "Well, she didn't get all A's this year, so I'm not sure she really deserves to get to go do something fun like vacation bible school. Sorry, but I've gotta punish her by not letting her go."
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09-06-2016, 09:50 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(09-06-2016 09:41 AM)Ash Wrote:  I'm starting to think I should have told them "Well, she didn't get all A's this year, so I'm not sure she really deserves to get to go do something fun like vacation bible school. Sorry, but I've gotta punish her by not letting her go."

That sounds cowardly to me as well as a lie. Whatever you do please set your daughter a good example. She will thank you for it. Smile

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09-06-2016, 09:55 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
I liked VBS as a kid, but then, I was on the very brainwashed side of the spectrum.

When is it scheduled for? You could say no and then just ignore grandparents until then. Let them know your daughter can go see them the following week or something.

Or tell them she's already saved. Cause you know, she is. Saved *from* religion. Laugh out load

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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