My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
10-06-2016, 08:14 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Well they called again this morning. Not me, but her this time. My daughter had it on speaker, so I was able to hear the whole thing. They tried guilting her into it. "Jesus died for you, don't you think you can go to camp for him for one week?" and "Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?" I wanted to snap. I think my daughter mostly ignored it, and quickly made an excuse to hang up. I'm sure it bothered her a little though, and that was their intent. I'm sure they're not finished yet. I'm going to call them later and tell them that I heard about what they said, and that I find it highly inappropriate to guilt a child into doing something they don't want to do. I'd have called them right back as soon as my daughter hung up if we didn't have to get to school. Of course i"d have probably said something I regretted if I did. I tried calling earlier, but they didn't pick up.

Also, I think a child can make several decisions for themselves. It's good to learn about religion--not just one, but many faiths. But I think it should be for the child to decide if they want to participate in those faiths or not. (without pressure from family members)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 11 users Like Ash's post
10-06-2016, 08:24 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(10-06-2016 08:14 AM)Ash Wrote:  Well they called again this morning. Not me, but her this time. My daughter had it on speaker, so I was able to hear the whole thing. They tried guilting her into it. "Jesus died for you, don't you think you can go to camp for him for one week?" and "Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?" I wanted to snap. I think my daughter mostly ignored it, and quickly made an excuse to hang up. I'm sure it bothered her a little though, and that was their intent. I'm sure they're not finished yet. I'm going to call them later and tell them that I heard about what they said, and that I find it highly inappropriate to guilt a child into doing something they don't want to do. I'd have called them right back as soon as my daughter hung up if we didn't have to get to school. Of course i"d have probably said something I regretted if I did. I tried calling earlier, but they didn't pick up.

Also, I think a child can make several decisions for themselves. It's good to learn about religion--not just one, but many faiths. But I think it should be for the child to decide if they want to participate in those faiths or not. (without pressure from family members)

That would have been enough for me to have ended all contact with them. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Chas's post
10-06-2016, 08:30 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(10-06-2016 02:28 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(10-06-2016 01:42 AM)popsthebuilder Wrote:  Regardless of your position or theirs; you shouldn't leave the decision to a child. They are a child.
At what point would you let your child do their own thing? Disgusting geezer.

Quote:Though you may find the teachings of Jesus to be wrong somehow, without bias, one can see those specific teachings as beneficial to peace and as such, quality of life for all involved.
Teachings of Jesus can be studied without Christian camp.

Quote:Faith in selfless Unity for Good.
Stop wanking in public. It's not socially acceptable.
I let my son's make their own decisions generally, but I inform them of their options and pay attention to their processes, guiding them to not just think, but to think for meaning. Not to just do out of want, but to consider their motives and the effects it could have on others.

Faith in selfless Unity for Good.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-06-2016, 08:32 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(10-06-2016 08:14 AM)Ash Wrote:  Well they called again this morning. Not me, but her this time. My daughter had it on speaker, so I was able to hear the whole thing. They tried guilting her into it. "Jesus died for you, don't you think you can go to camp for him for one week?" and "Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?" I wanted to snap. I think my daughter mostly ignored it, and quickly made an excuse to hang up. I'm sure it bothered her a little though, and that was their intent. I'm sure they're not finished yet. I'm going to call them later and tell them that I heard about what they said, and that I find it highly inappropriate to guilt a child into doing something they don't want to do. I'd have called them right back as soon as my daughter hung up if we didn't have to get to school. Of course i"d have probably said something I regretted if I did. I tried calling earlier, but they didn't pick up.

Also, I think a child can make several decisions for themselves. It's good to learn about religion--not just one, but many faiths. But I think it should be for the child to decide if they want to participate in those faiths or not. (without pressure from family members)
That's terrible man, sorry she had to go through that load of crap.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-06-2016, 08:35 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(10-06-2016 08:14 AM)Ash Wrote:  Well they called again this morning. Not me, but her this time. My daughter had it on speaker, so I was able to hear the whole thing. They tried guilting her into it. "Jesus died for you, don't you think you can go to camp for him for one week?" and "Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?" I wanted to snap. I think my daughter mostly ignored it, and quickly made an excuse to hang up. I'm sure it bothered her a little though, and that was their intent. I'm sure they're not finished yet. I'm going to call them later and tell them that I heard about what they said, and that I find it highly inappropriate to guilt a child into doing something they don't want to do. I'd have called them right back as soon as my daughter hung up if we didn't have to get to school. Of course i"d have probably said something I regretted if I did. I tried calling earlier, but they didn't pick up.

Also, I think a child can make several decisions for themselves. It's good to learn about religion--not just one, but many faiths. But I think it should be for the child to decide if they want to participate in those faiths or not. (without pressure from family members)
They shouldn't attempt to guilt or scare her into conforming to their will.

I'm sorry to hear that. Guilting a child into anything is grossly manipulative. If they are really trying to help, then they are going about it the wrong way. If they want her to witness the truth that is the teachings and example of the Christ then they should adhere to said teachings and direction themselves.



Faith in selfless Unity for Good.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-06-2016, 09:25 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(09-06-2016 09:56 AM)skyking Wrote:  ^agree totally with Heatheness. Man up!
My original post stands though. I have sympathy for anyone who has outlived their child. I'd give them a chance to get on the right foot with your daughter. By explaining the why honestly, they might have a chance at it. heavy on the "might".
I can see my hope in any reasonable discourse was unwarranted. This kind of manipulative behavior is exactly what tuned me off at a young age. My grandmother was all fire and brimstone and that was my introduction to christians. [/b]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-06-2016, 09:52 AM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
My introduction to Christianity was actually a fairly positive one. My mother basically said "Here's the ten commandments. Don't fuck up." Pretty sure those were her exact words. So for a long time Christianity to me was pretty simple. 10 big rules to follow, most of which made sense. I mean maybe the whole 'don't work on Sundays' bit was off. When I actually started looking into it, I found it hard to believe that there was much reason to think any of it actually happened.

The guilt tactics piss me off. I could easily turn it around on them, but I'm going to take the high road for my daughter's sake. I'm surprised they didn't go the fire and brimstone route, but that'd have backfired because I know for a fact my daughter finds the idea of hell absolutely disgusting.

Some people just don't get that you can't force your faith on someone. People believe all sorts of things for different reasons. Bringing up her mother like that was a line that was crossed though. Especially since I'm pretty sure her mother was an atheist herself (who only sent her to VBS because it was free daycare)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-06-2016, 12:13 PM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
(10-06-2016 08:14 AM)Ash Wrote:  Well they called again this morning. Not me, but her this time. My daughter had it on speaker, so I was able to hear the whole thing. They tried guilting her into it. "Jesus died for you, don't you think you can go to camp for him for one week?" and "Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?" I wanted to snap. I think my daughter mostly ignored it, and quickly made an excuse to hang up. I'm sure it bothered her a little though, and that was their intent. I'm sure they're not finished yet. I'm going to call them later and tell them that I heard about what they said, and that I find it highly inappropriate to guilt a child into doing something they don't want to do. I'd have called them right back as soon as my daughter hung up if we didn't have to get to school. Of course i"d have probably said something I regretted if I did. I tried calling earlier, but they didn't pick up.

Also, I think a child can make several decisions for themselves. It's good to learn about religion--not just one, but many faiths. But I think it should be for the child to decide if they want to participate in those faiths or not. (without pressure from family members)

Leave them a message that you heard the conversation and will not stand for such tactics. If they continue, you will have her block their number on her phone and then all contact will go through you.

I understand your fear of their pursuing a lawsuit, but I believe the chance of their doing so is minimal. I really don't think your keeping your daughter from VBS is going to be grounds for a custody battle, especially since you are the custodial biological parent.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like julep's post
10-06-2016, 12:32 PM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Heatheness's response was spot on.

Yet again.

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Silly Deity's post
10-06-2016, 12:48 PM
RE: My daughter's grandparents want to send her to vacation bible school
Quote:Don't you want to go to heaven when you die, so you can see your mom?

Wow man I am so sorry. That is horrible. I wish I could tell you what to do. Earlier I said schedule an initial consultation with a family law attorney. I know it's a big expense but you need someone who can intelligently calculate what you would be risking by what reaction. Then you can decide on a reasonable course of action. One thing that doesn't seem reasonable is allowing them to use her deceased mother as a means of emotional blackmail or fear mongering. To tell a child seeing her dead mother again is contingent on some fucking Bible camp? That's despicable.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: