My family thinks I'm stupid
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
22-06-2013, 01:18 AM
My family thinks I'm stupid
I'm 19 and officially announced my atheism over face book while at college though my parents already knew. My mom refuses to say the word atheist calling me "the a word". My aunt keeps telling me a serial killer so believes is a better person than me both of these are annoying but the only real down side is with my dad.

Me and my dad had a great relationship but he says all atheist are stupid for "believing in nothing" I try to explain that's not right but he cuts me off and I can't get a word in edge wise I try to talk to him but he always says I'm letting other people define my views when I'm not. On top of that he laughs at me whoever we talk about politics saying atheists should be hated. I love my dad and I want to keep our relationship good but... I don't know how any advice form simmiler situations?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Modern's post
22-06-2013, 08:38 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
Your parents are being quite douchey I'm afraid. Maybe just say to your Dad that you feel he's very much being a bit of an asshole over this. Explain that you feel like you have a good relationship and by this kind of ridicule he's weakening that bond.

I never discuss religion with my parents, apart from early on when I first told them I was definitely an atheist. I just made it clear that I felt it was a personal choice and mine to make.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
22-06-2013, 08:53 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
Given your age, very soon it won't matter so much because you'll be moving on and making a life for yourself.

Personally I would just let it go - once you are on your own feet and are living your own life the way you want, they'll be getting used to it and things will simmer down.

Give your dad and everyone time to adjust. Likely they see your atheism as a criticism of their own lives and how they built them, and that is difficult to digest for them.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Dom's post
22-06-2013, 08:59 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
I am afraid changing their perception of you will be a long process not without its challenges and pain. I think the best you can do is show them that they are wrong. You are still a good person despite being an atheist. Unfortunately religion does have a tendency to poison relationships. But on the brighter side, always think they are your family and may still change their mind about your unbelief.

In the meantime, hang in there! You are not alone and you will be fine.


If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask stupid questions. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like ivaneus's post
22-06-2013, 09:02 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
If it were me, I would just give them time and space to adjust. They aren't at a point where they are open to hearing your views--trying to explain is a waste of breath at this point. Drop the subject until they are willing to discuss it.

If you can talk to your Mom privately-I would explain to her that the actions of other family members is hurtful, disappointing and not productive and is beginning to destroy relationships. Eventually kids grow into adults and make their own choices and parents have a hard time letting go of their power to influence someone that they've had for almost 20years and they care deeply about. As kids emerge in adulthood - parents have a new role and its not always easy for either party to take on a new role.

It was probably easier for them when you were away at school, but now that everyone is in close quarters the heat has been turned up. Add in extended family (your aunt) tossing in their unwelcome, exaggerated two cents and you get crabby parents.

Have a heart to heart talk, find other topics, give it time to sink in. In the back of your mind you need to start thinking of other arrangements if this can't be resolved.....living & financial arrangements, etc.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
22-06-2013, 10:50 AM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2013 12:37 PM by kim.)
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
You're 19. Time to leave home. Drinking Beverage







What?
Everyone else already gave all the top suggestions. Can't help it that this was just the next best on the list.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes kim's post
22-06-2013, 02:51 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
I think most parents want to believe their children are good people. Take advantage of that. Show them how good an atheist can be. Remember it when you see moral failure in a Christian and then---be better than that. That's the most you can do. My atheism is a little upsetting to my mom, but she knows I'm a good person because I've proven it. Remain "faithful" to your values and take pride in your integrity. Suffer your family until they have no other reasonable choice but to respect you.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like cbb2274's post
22-06-2013, 03:04 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 02:51 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  I think most parents want to believe their children are good people. Take advantage of that. Show them how good an atheist can be. Remember it when you see moral failure in a Christian and then---be better than that. That's the most you can do. My atheism is a little upsetting to my mom, but she knows I'm a good person because I've proven it. Remain "faithful" to your values and take pride in your integrity. Suffer your family until they have no other reasonable choice but to respect you.

^^ That right there.^^

And then leave home.



Dodgy
They'll finally appreciate you when you visit. That's not to say they'll respect you any better... cause respect takes time and understanding.

While you are gone, they'll be able to put their own heads together and get a clearer sense of reason in their own minds. They won't have to be defending themselves to you all the time, which often only strengthens their beliefs, by the way.

You are a good person. Show them and give them and yourself the gift of space and time.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes kim's post
22-06-2013, 03:22 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 01:18 AM)Modern Wrote:  I'm 19 and officially announced my atheism over face book while at college though my parents already knew. My mom refuses to say the word atheist calling me "the a word". My aunt keeps telling me a serial killer so believes is a better person than me both of these are annoying but the only real down side is with my dad.

Me and my dad had a great relationship but he says all atheist are stupid for "believing in nothing" I try to explain that's not right but he cuts me off and I can't get a word in edge wise I try to talk to him but he always says I'm letting other people define my views when I'm not. On top of that he laughs at me whoever we talk about politics saying atheists should be hated. I love my dad and I want to keep our relationship good but... I don't know how any advice form simmiler situations?

A few observations:

Your father's views on religious dogma have been defined by others, they had to be. No one is born with the concept of God or any of the religious beliefs. Mention that to him.

When he says you "believe in nothing" ask him to define the "something" he believes in. When he says God, ask him for proof of his existence. When he points to the Bible then you can begin the long, drawn out discussion of all the nonsense in it.

You can always say you believe in things that can be proven to exist.

As for your aunt, well, let her know that you haven't killed anyone. Also ask her if the only thing keeping her from becoming a serial killer is the fear of otherwordly retribution. If she says yes then tell her you are a better person than she'll ever be becasue you don't kill even without the fear of such punishment.

Like other's have already said, get out of there as soon as possible.

Good luck.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Full Circle's post
22-06-2013, 03:23 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
Who cares what your family thinks? They're wrong, you're right. That's their fucking problem, not yours. Do not compromise yourself for them; just let them learn to deal with it.

Christopher Hitchens Wrote:I'd urge you look at those of you who tell you, those people who tell you, at your age, that you're dead until you believe as they do—what a terrible thing to be telling to children—and that you can only live by accepting an absolute authority. Don't think of that as a gift, think of it as a poisoned chalice; push it aside, however tempting it is. Take the risk of thinking for yourself. Much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way.

Drinking Beverage

"Humans always measure what they see in front of them to what they already know. They will deny anything outside of that. They are shallow lifeforms, so enthralled with superficial appearances that they fail to see the truth."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes MrAttacus's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: