My family thinks I'm stupid
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22-06-2013, 04:55 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 03:22 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  A few observations:

Your father's views on religious dogma have been defined by others, they had to be. No one is born with the concept of God or any of the religious beliefs. Mention that to him.

When he says you "believe in nothing" ask him to define the "something" he believes in. When he says God, ask him for proof of his existence. When he points to the Bible then you can begin the long, drawn out discussion of all the nonsense in it.

You can always say you believe in things that can be proven to exist.

As for your aunt, well, let her know that you haven't killed anyone. Also ask her if the only thing keeping her from becoming a serial killer is the fear of otherwordly retribution. If she says yes then tell her you are a better person than she'll ever be becasue you don't kill even without the fear of such punishment.

Like other's have already said, get out of there as soon as possible.

Good luck.

like this?
Me: when i was born
father: you are evil. I do not want to listen to you.
Me:but let me
father: i told you i do not want to listen.
Me: but..
Father: if you say 1 more word about religion your gonna regret it.


Like he said,his dad cuts him off when he tries to speak.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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22-06-2013, 05:27 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
How many times do I need to say it? Don't post this kind of information on facebook. Now every aunt,uncle, friend or foe are going to try to covert you.

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22-06-2013, 05:30 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 03:04 PM)kim Wrote:  They won't have to be defending themselves to you all the time, which often only strengthens their beliefs, by the way.

Confronting my mother with her own beliefs is always the most unpleasant part of discussing my atheism. I feel bad for her each time it happens.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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22-06-2013, 05:54 PM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2013 05:59 PM by kim.)
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 05:30 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  
(22-06-2013 03:04 PM)kim Wrote:  They won't have to be defending themselves to you all the time, which often only strengthens their beliefs, by the way.

Confronting my mother with her own beliefs is always the most unpleasant part of discussing my atheism. I feel bad for her each time it happens.

Well, I'd feel bad for her too. In a sense, you're trying to verbally stab her and she's trying to defend herself. I don't think discussion has to be confrontational.

Confronting your Mom can be misconstrued by her, into you trying to change her and her beliefs. It is not necessary to change someone else's beliefs rather, just be satisfied with having one's own ideas for one's self be respected.

And then go live elsewhere. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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22-06-2013, 06:40 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
I'm away at college most the year I'm just home for summer vacation now any my mom is even more religious she just won't talk about it
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22-06-2013, 07:01 PM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2013 07:07 PM by cbb2274.)
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 05:54 PM)kim Wrote:  
(22-06-2013 05:30 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  Confronting my mother with her own beliefs is always the most unpleasant part of discussing my atheism. I feel bad for her each time it happens.

Well, I'd feel bad for her too. In a sense, you're trying to verbally stab her and she's trying to defend herself. I don't think discussion has to be confrontational.

Confronting your Mom can be misconstrued by her, into you trying to change her and her beliefs. It is not necessary to change someone else's beliefs rather, just be satisfied with having one's own ideas for one's self be respected.

And then go live elsewhere. Shy

I always wait for her to bring it up. She asks me questions and I don't lie, but I tell her that it's difficult for me to talk about it because I don't want to hurt her. I'm not worried that I'll offend her. I'm worried that my arguments will be too persuasive and she'll have a personal crisis because she wants to believe. She recently told me that she believes, but that she sees serious problems with her religion. I'm very grateful to have a mother this understanding, especially when I read stories like this on TTA. I hope your family comes around soon, Modern.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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22-06-2013, 07:31 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
You're not trying to verbally stab her, that's nonsense. If she confronts you about your beliefs, you have every right to tell them to her, so long as you are respectfulAngel. I'm currently in the closet, but I keep wanting my parents to bring up religion so that I can have a discussion instigated by them. For example, I checked out Christopher Hitchens book, god is not great, and am considering waiting for it to be overdue and have the library call my house. Not sure how to come out though...Huh

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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22-06-2013, 08:02 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 07:31 PM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  You're not trying to verbally stab her, that's nonsense. If she confronts you about your beliefs, you have every right to tell them to her, so long as you are respectfulAngel. I'm currently in the closet, but I keep wanting my parents to bring up religion so that I can have a discussion instigated by them. For example, I checked out Christopher Hitchens book, god is not great, and am considering waiting for it to be overdue and have the library call my house. Not sure how to come out though...Huh

I think the verbal stabbing business was part of a simple misunderstanding. Kim has made some excellent points.

Maybe you don't need to plant a conversation starter. Maybe you could just wait for it to become an issue and then tell them how you feel. Do your parents try to take you to church? Have they said anything negative about atheists?

EDIT: Nevermind, Derek. I found the thread about it. Welcome to TTA. I'm relatively new here as well.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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23-06-2013, 01:01 AM (This post was last modified: 23-06-2013 01:40 AM by kim.)
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 07:01 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  
(22-06-2013 05:54 PM)kim Wrote:  Well, I'd feel bad for her too. In a sense, you're trying to verbally stab her and she's trying to defend herself. I don't think discussion has to be confrontational.

Confronting your Mom can be misconstrued by her, into you trying to change her and her beliefs. It is not necessary to change someone else's beliefs rather, just be satisfied with having one's own ideas for one's self be respected.

And then go live elsewhere. Shy

I always wait for her to bring it up. She asks me questions and I don't lie, but I tell her that it's difficult for me to talk about it because I don't want to hurt her. I'm not worried that I'll offend her. I'm worried that my arguments will be too persuasive and she'll have a personal crisis because she wants to believe. She recently told me that she believes, but that she sees serious problems with her religion. I'm very grateful to have a mother this understanding, especially when I read stories like this on TTA. I hope your family comes around soon, Modern.

Oh I see, her faith may be strong but her religion is weak and she recognizes it. If she sees problems with her religion, you can be of great support to her. Let her know she doesn't have to have a "religion" in order to believe whatever she believes. Faith is faith and it doesn't necessarily have to depend on a particular dogma.

If she wants to keep going to church or participating in those activities, just tell her to go, get what enjoyment she can out of it, and keep her faith within herself - it will be more personal for her. She trusts you and it sounds as if you have a decent relationship with her. Let her know that you are in support of her to believe, so she can be herself. Also let her know that you hope she can do the same for you. When all is said and done, you both just want each other to be comfortable with your selves as individuals.

It's not about "religion", it's about faith. She has it, you don't... doesn't mean you're on opposite sides of humanity, just means you're different humans. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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23-06-2013, 01:32 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 07:31 PM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  You're not trying to verbally stab her, that's nonsense.

Ha - metaphor is a beautiful thing. However, it is good to know you got Cbb's back. Thumbsup
***

So Derek, what did you think of God Is Not Great?
We have a TTA book club and God Is Not Great was our first book to read. You can still post in the discussion thread. There is a whole literature forum if you are looking for good reads. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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