My family thinks I'm stupid
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29-07-2013, 12:21 AM (This post was last modified: 29-07-2013 12:39 AM by Bucky Ball.)
Shocked RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
I was talking to one of my (non-believer) aunts about this a while ago. She reminded me about the world our fathers and mothers grew up in. The WORST thing that was around in the world for them, was "Atheistic Communism". THE synonymous ARCH-enemy. Not just a religious ideology, but the very real political enemy, and (supposedly) the cause of ALL the bad in the world. Madeline Murray O'Hare was considered INSANE. We don't know anything about all that. So even in the 60's and 70's when they were in their "hippie" days, they could barely say the word, or admit it out loud, and in many parts of the country that remains very real. It's the epitome of all that was bad in the world. It's not just about belief or non-belief. It's about a huge subliminal pile of other baggage, (which I think is what it represented to Egor). It represents a lot more to them, even though they may not even be aware of it, to have to name it "atheism". Maybe call yourself a "freethinker". They might not have such a negative visceral response. Whether they actually think about it or not, it's associated in their brains with the Soviet Union, and Communist China, from the days when they were very real potential war enemies. It's not patriotic, as well as evil to them.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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29-07-2013, 12:37 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 05:27 PM)ELK12695 Wrote:  How many times do I need to say it? Don't post this kind of information on facebook. Now every aunt,uncle, friend or foe are going to try to covert you.

That's where the good conversations happen.

To the OP, I can almost feel where you're coming from. My dad's argument was that "anyone who can see a baby made from nothing and believe there is no god is stupid" ad hominem much?

You've tried bringing it up several times, so it seems as if you aren't too threatened by him. I'd write a letter. Take a while and make sure all the points are there that you want in there. Then tell him that until he can grow up, he can politely fuck off. I'll be at the neighbor's this summer if you feel like not being a douche canoe. That way you either get your points across and you win, or he continues in his ways and you'll know that he chose for himself to give up on your relationship.

Whether this idea works for you or not, good luck. I'll be praying for you. Just kidding.
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29-07-2013, 02:07 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(28-07-2013 11:57 PM)stormbobcat Wrote:  I'm in a similar boat, except I haven't told anybody in fear of this type of response. I have a child on the way which makes revealing my views very difficult. I feel your pain though buddy.

I just went through this, actually. The biggest question my mom asked me when I told her about my lack of belief and my stance against religion in general was "How do you expect your children to grow up to be good people without religion?". I answered that I didn't know, and now with a 2 month old my only answer can be "the best I can, with what I know.". I will do everything in my power to make sure my daughter gets the right start, but above all, I will make sure she knows that I love her, which in my opinion has the greatest effect above any one thing I could teach her.

My advice to you is to come clean with your parents, no matter the cost. At some point your parents are going to wonder why you aren't taking your child to church, why they haven't been through whatever rights of passage are invonvled, why they don't know a lot of basics about your parents religion, etc. It's far more easy to do it on your own terms than have the question brought up when you're not ready for it.

It sucks having a parent judge you negatively, my mom walked out in anger after that discussion and said she didn't know where she went wrong in raising me. It hurt like hell to hear that, but I got over it. It was nothing more than a statement made in anger and ignorance. Thankfully my dad has been accepting and loving without judgement, which has definitely helped. I can only hope you have parents who love you know matter what, even if it means a temporary lapse in understanding of what that phrase means.

"Good news, everyone!"
-Cody
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30-07-2013, 03:38 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(29-07-2013 02:07 AM)Anudist Wrote:  
(28-07-2013 11:57 PM)stormbobcat Wrote:  I'm in a similar boat, except I haven't told anybody in fear of this type of response. I have a child on the way which makes revealing my views very difficult. I feel your pain though buddy.

I just went through this, actually. The biggest question my mom asked me when I told her about my lack of belief and my stance against religion in general was "How do you expect your children to grow up to be good people without religion?". I answered that I didn't know, and now with a 2 month old my only answer can be "the best I can, with what I know.". I will do everything in my power to make sure my daughter gets the right start, but above all, I will make sure she knows that I love her, which in my opinion has the greatest effect above any one thing I could teach her.

My advice to you is to come clean with your parents, no matter the cost. At some point your parents are going to wonder why you aren't taking your child to church, why they haven't been through whatever rights of passage are invonvled, why they don't know a lot of basics about your parents religion, etc. It's far more easy to do it on your own terms than have the question brought up when you're not ready for it.

It sucks having a parent judge you negatively, my mom walked out in anger after that discussion and said she didn't know where she went wrong in raising me. It hurt like hell to hear that, but I got over it. It was nothing more than a statement made in anger and ignorance. Thankfully my dad has been accepting and loving without judgement, which has definitely helped. I can only hope you have parents who love you know matter what, even if it means a temporary lapse in understanding of what that phrase means.

I would agree. Don't worry about your parents reaction, it's not always as bad as some say. My parents were accepting minus my mom keeps getting christian movies from the library to watch as a family. That and she acts like she has some amazing proof of god that she refuses to divulge. Anyways, I watched alot of debates before coming out and I recommend it if you are as new as I am. Learn the average tactics and you should be able to take on your parents Smile.

Btw, I recommend http://wiki.ironchariots.org/index.php?title=Main_Page and just watch youtube as well

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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31-07-2013, 11:09 PM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(30-07-2013 03:38 PM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  That and she acts like she has some amazing proof of god that she refuses to divulge.

I can't stand that "if only you knew" attitude. It's the real world equivalent of those online ads that claim you're an idiot if you don't use "this one ridiculously easy trick" to reduce your insurance premiums.

"That's not the proof I want."
"You'll have such proof as exists. You are the only one responsible for your own wants."
- Isaac Asimov, I, Robot
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01-08-2013, 03:59 AM
RE: My family thinks I'm stupid
(22-06-2013 01:18 AM)Modern Wrote:  I'm 19 and officially announced my atheism over face book while at college though my parents already knew. My mom refuses to say the word atheist calling me "the a word". My aunt keeps telling me a serial killer so believes is a better person than me both of these are annoying but the only real down side is with my dad.

Me and my dad had a great relationship but he says all atheist are stupid for "believing in nothing" I try to explain that's not right but he cuts me off and I can't get a word in edge wise I try to talk to him but he always says I'm letting other people define my views when I'm not. On top of that he laughs at me whoever we talk about politics saying atheists should be hated. I love my dad and I want to keep our relationship good but... I don't know how any advice form simmiler situations?
It sucks that your family members are acting like that over your atheism. That seems kind of fucked up, IMO.

But, like some people have mentioned, at your age you can get the hell away from them. Spending time away from family can be a good medicine, so to speak. Living away from them and only having sporadic contact can work wonders on relationships. Sometimes the "distance" can allow family to come to terms with things.
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