My feels are broken
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14-08-2015, 12:16 PM
RE: My feels are broken
:*(

*HUG*
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14-08-2015, 12:23 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 11:54 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I want to be sad, but I'm afraid if I start crying I'll never stop.

Let your feelings out. You need to release it. As for not stopping, I still tear up thinking about losses that are many years old and I hope I never lose that. It's a good thing to have cared that much.

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14-08-2015, 12:31 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 12:07 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I've cried for my dad plenty. I've had several bouts of uncontrolled sobbing over the last month. I didn't think I could be an sadder than I already was. I was wrong.

Grieving comes in waves. Sadness and pain accumulate, and then you need a release. You cry, it holds for a while. But sadness about it will reach a point again where you need to cry. As you go, there will be many "triggers", just now your friend's dad dying was your trigger. Any sights, sounds, smells, dates etc. that you connect with your dad will be triggers. As you go, new memories will fill the voids and you will be triggered less and less.

It's pretty much a physical process, and you can't stop it. It's best to just go with it, it's the fastest path to healing.

The "crying events" are necessary for the healing process. They will decrease in frequency. It's only been a month.... Hug

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-08-2015, 12:44 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 12:23 PM)unfogged Wrote:  
(14-08-2015 11:54 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I want to be sad, but I'm afraid if I start crying I'll never stop.

Let your feelings out. You need to release it. As for not stopping, I still tear up thinking about losses that are many years old and I hope I never lose that. It's a good thing to have cared that much.

It's a sweet pain, when I think about loved ones I've lost, and I cherish those feelings. I don't believe in that whole "closure" thing. the wound may scar over, but it will always be tender, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes it comes back afresh after a long dormancy, and I'm fine with that, because it is a reminder that the love we had was real.
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14-08-2015, 12:45 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 12:31 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(14-08-2015 12:07 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I've cried for my dad plenty. I've had several bouts of uncontrolled sobbing over the last month. I didn't think I could be an sadder than I already was. I was wrong.

Grieving comes in waves. Sadness and pain accumulate, and then you need a release. You cry, it holds for a while. But sadness about it will reach a point again where you need to cry. As you go, there will be many "triggers", just now your friend's dad dying was your trigger. Any sights, sounds, smells, dates etc. that you connect with your dad will be triggers. As you go, new memories will fill the voids and you will be triggered less and less.

It's pretty much a physical process, and you can't stop it. It's best to just go with it, it's the fastest path to healing.

The "crying events" are necessary for the healing process. They will decrease in frequency. It's only been a month.... Hug

Yeah, motorcylces were a bit of a trigger at first, but I live on a street with a biker bar and 3 out of 4 of my neighbors are bikers, so I was kind of forced to get through that real quick.

This morning, it was a song. Sixx:A.M. - Life Is Beautiful I just completely lost it right there in my office.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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14-08-2015, 01:19 PM
RE: My feels are broken
Music has the power to speak deeper than language, the power to touch the ineffable.
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14-08-2015, 02:35 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 11:54 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I just got a call from my best friend to let me know that his father has just died. Less than a month after my father died, I can't take this shit. I've gone from sad to numb.

I want to be sad, but I'm afraid if I start crying I'll never stop.

I lost my grandmother in January, and I cried A LOT.

A LOT.

Let yourself grieve. You will stop crying. And then out of nowhere you'll start again. And then you'll stop. And this process may go on a while, but know that it's part of grieving, and when you block that process, your feelings might burst out at inopportune times, so it's best to go with your feelings...and feel what you feel.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad, and your best friend's loss too. Heart Sending you comforting thoughts and hugs.

Be true to yourself. Heart
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14-08-2015, 02:45 PM
RE: My feels are broken
(14-08-2015 12:45 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(14-08-2015 12:31 PM)Dom Wrote:  Grieving comes in waves. Sadness and pain accumulate, and then you need a release. You cry, it holds for a while. But sadness about it will reach a point again where you need to cry. As you go, there will be many "triggers", just now your friend's dad dying was your trigger. Any sights, sounds, smells, dates etc. that you connect with your dad will be triggers. As you go, new memories will fill the voids and you will be triggered less and less.

It's pretty much a physical process, and you can't stop it. It's best to just go with it, it's the fastest path to healing.

The "crying events" are necessary for the healing process. They will decrease in frequency. It's only been a month.... Hug


Yeah, motorcylces were a bit of a trigger at first, but I live on a street with a biker bar and 3 out of 4 of my neighbors are bikers, so I was kind of forced to get through that real quick.

This morning, it was a song. Sixx:A.M. - Life Is Beautiful I just completely lost it right there in my office.

Also, expect to think about your dad several times a day for the first year. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of my mother. As time went by I stopped thinking of her when she was so sick during the last months of her life and I started thinking of her when she was well and healthy.

After a few years I started remembering her when she was younger and younger, far back into my early childhood. Then I started telling my own children stories about her since they have no memory of her. She cursed like a sailor and they thought that was very funny. She was such a fun character.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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14-08-2015, 06:35 PM
RE: My feels are broken
Let your feels be broken, let the numbness happen - it's part of the process.

The tears will come, the anger will come, the healing will come.

Just let yourself go through it.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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14-08-2015, 06:44 PM
RE: My feels are broken
I just want to let you know I'm sorry this has happened to you. Take care.
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