My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
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15-02-2016, 02:50 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
How is this even a question?

- Call the police
- Make sure there's a clear record that he's violent
- Get a gun if the police are dismissive
- Don't let him in
- Don't tell him where anybody is
- Shoot him if he tries to attack. If he has her gun, I wouldn't wait for him to see yours, and I wouldn't bother trying to scare him off.
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15-02-2016, 03:09 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
"He checks her vagina every day". Facepalm

Never, in my whole life, have I ever heard that sick one. Not only is she in danger, but, with a psycho like that, she's going to have to make a plan to "disappear".
OMFnG. You better scope out a shelter with her, and help her make a plan, and involve the police.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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15-02-2016, 03:18 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
Also, know that in cases of domestic abuse, even where a firearm was not used, when the abuse is reported, the police can confiscate any/all firearms in the domicile. Sounds like this animal needs to be disarmed, among other things.
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15-02-2016, 03:22 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
I've made the mistake of getting in the middle of one of these -- and I'm going out on a limb here to tell ya ----- there's probably not much you're going to do.................


I know, I know --- it's an awful situation -- and you WANT to help.... Any sane person who isn't a sociopath would.... Nobody is going to fault you for trying - and many will scream if you don't ------

But ultimately -----

Until SHE decides to get out of this abusive relationship -- there's nothing you can really do.... It's like somebody strung out on heroin......... You know they need help, and it kills ya to watch them destroy themselves ----- but until they decide to quit --- nothing's going to change....

My ex wife dragged a friend home, and she stayed with us for over a month -- she got restraining orders against this guy --- I had to have a showdown with this guy.... THe cops got called, all sorts of ugly shit......

Ultimately -- she went back to him.... "He's going to change -- he PROMISED"......

That was just the closest one to home.... I've seen it over and over...... I don't understand it..... All the advice you've gotten from other is a good try -- and you probably should.....


I wish you and your friend the best of luck..........


But --- DO NOT fault yourself if it goes south...... There's only so much you can do.....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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15-02-2016, 03:39 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(15-02-2016 03:22 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I've made the mistake of getting in the middle of one of these -- and I'm going out on a limb here to tell ya ----- there's probably not much you're going to do.................


I know, I know --- it's an awful situation -- and you WANT to help.... Any sane person who isn't a sociopath would.... Nobody is going to fault you for trying - and many will scream if you don't ------

But ultimately -----

Until SHE decides to get out of this abusive relationship -- there's nothing you can really do.... It's like somebody strung out on heroin......... You know they need help, and it kills ya to watch them destroy themselves ----- but until they decide to quit --- nothing's going to change....

My ex wife dragged a friend home, and she stayed with us for over a month -- she got restraining orders against this guy --- I had to have a showdown with this guy.... THe cops got called, all sorts of ugly shit......

Ultimately -- she went back to him.... "He's going to change -- he PROMISED"......

That was just the closest one to home.... I've seen it over and over...... I don't understand it..... All the advice you've gotten from other is a good try -- and you probably should.....


I wish you and your friend the best of luck..........


But --- DO NOT fault yourself if it goes south...... There's only so much you can do.....


What he said....

The best advise I ever received from counselors who work with people dealing with traumatic situations like this was to not replace their counselor and to not become trapped into a feeling that you are obligated to save them. The next piece of advise was to make sure you take care of yourself--this person's trauma should not have to become your trauma.

This means that you should limit your exposure to being the sounding board for her processing her trauma. That might be hard to do with a friend, but encouraging them to reach out to real professionals (and refusing help personally) will be the best kind of help you can give them. Do research what women's shelter or domestic abuse resources are available in your area, and then offer to take your friend there, but do not try to replace what they do.
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15-02-2016, 03:52 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
^^^^ what he said.
It's tough love, but unfortunately you yourself are also in danger if you get involved. How many times have we all heard about these ending in tagedy for everyone ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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15-02-2016, 09:48 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
Her best bet in staying out of the relationship: Cut off all possible lines of communication with the abuser. No texts, no phone calls, no e-mails, no third-party communications. Nothing. 100% no-contact.
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15-02-2016, 10:18 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(15-02-2016 09:48 PM)Astreja Wrote:  Her best bet in staying out of the relationship: Cut off all possible lines of communication with the abuser. No texts, no phone calls, no e-mails, no third-party communications. Nothing. 100% no-contact.

Yes Painful, probably. Lifesaving, likely.
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16-02-2016, 01:01 AM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(15-02-2016 03:09 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  "He checks her vagina every day". Facepalm

Never, in my whole life, have I ever heard that sick one. Not only is she in danger, but, with a psycho like that, she's going to have to make a plan to "disappear".
OMFnG. You better scope out a shelter with her, and help her make a plan, and involve the police.

Unfortunately, I have heard this once before. She needs to disappear but I don't think she understands how dangerous this situation can be.
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16-02-2016, 01:03 AM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(15-02-2016 03:22 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I've made the mistake of getting in the middle of one of these -- and I'm going out on a limb here to tell ya ----- there's probably not much you're going to do.................


I know, I know --- it's an awful situation -- and you WANT to help.... Any sane person who isn't a sociopath would.... Nobody is going to fault you for trying - and many will scream if you don't ------

But ultimately -----

Until SHE decides to get out of this abusive relationship -- there's nothing you can really do.... It's like somebody strung out on heroin......... You know they need help, and it kills ya to watch them destroy themselves ----- but until they decide to quit --- nothing's going to change....

My ex wife dragged a friend home, and she stayed with us for over a month -- she got restraining orders against this guy --- I had to have a showdown with this guy.... THe cops got called, all sorts of ugly shit......

Ultimately -- she went back to him.... "He's going to change -- he PROMISED"......

That was just the closest one to home.... I've seen it over and over...... I don't understand it..... All the advice you've gotten from other is a good try -- and you probably should.....


I wish you and your friend the best of luck..........


But --- DO NOT fault yourself if it goes south...... There's only so much you can do.....

Ugh I know how this feels and how it usually ends unfortunatel . I dealt with the same thing with my mother, and in the end I felt stupid for trying so hard to protect her.
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