My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
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16-02-2016, 01:04 AM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(15-02-2016 09:48 PM)Astreja Wrote:  Her best bet in staying out of the relationship: Cut off all possible lines of communication with the abuser. No texts, no phone calls, no e-mails, no third-party communications. Nothing. 100% no-contact.

Everyone is advising her that, but she's got like Stockholm syndrome or something and I feel like she can't stay away. She'll just go back and honestly, it doesn't surprise me .
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16-02-2016, 01:07 AM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
*UPDATE* So she's called the cops because he has all of her belongings and hey purse and he won't tell her where it is. She told them about the domestic violence and she's trying to get R to press charges. They said they probably will pick up B tonight. But she's still at the house, where her and B live. I'm going to try to help her find some abuse shelter, but I have a feeling that she's going to go back to him. She's talking about her and B's mother getting a place together.
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16-02-2016, 02:07 AM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 01:07 AM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  *UPDATE* So she's called the cops because he has all of her belongings and hey purse and he won't tell her where it is. She told them about the domestic violence and she's trying to get R to press charges. They said they probably will pick up B tonight. But she's still at the house, where her and B live. I'm going to try to help her find some abuse shelter, but I have a feeling that she's going to go back to him. She's talking about her and B's mother getting a place together.

No She's afraid of him and he treats her and everyone around her like shit. She might have difficulty making the decision but she needs to get the fuck out.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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16-02-2016, 01:25 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 02:07 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(16-02-2016 01:07 AM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  *UPDATE* So she's called the cops because he has all of her belongings and hey purse and he won't tell her where it is. She told them about the domestic violence and she's trying to get R to press charges. They said they probably will pick up B tonight. But she's still at the house, where her and B live. I'm going to try to help her find some abuse shelter, but I have a feeling that she's going to go back to him. She's talking about her and B's mother getting a place together.

No She's afraid of him and he treats her and everyone around her like shit. She might have difficulty making the decision but she needs to get the fuck out.

Yeah and I guess last night he came over, and was crying and saying how he always tried to be the best boyfriend for her and that she cheated, even though she's saying she didnt. He still refuses to give her stuff back. And now he also went into the persons house that R and D were hanging out at, the night that R was attacked, and he took this persons car keys, broke into their car, and stole her bagpack with all her money and valuables
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16-02-2016, 01:30 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 01:25 PM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  
(16-02-2016 02:07 AM)morondog Wrote:  No She's afraid of him and he treats her and everyone around her like shit. She might have difficulty making the decision but she needs to get the fuck out.

Yeah and I guess last night he came over, and was crying and saying how he always tried to be the best boyfriend for her and that she cheated, even though she's saying she didnt. He still refuses to give her stuff back. And now he also went into the persons house that R and D were hanging out at, the night that R was attacked, and he took this persons car keys, broke into their car, and stole her bagpack with all her money and valuables

I hope the friend called the cops. That's gonna cause him problems.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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16-02-2016, 01:58 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
Ground rules should also be established. If she is with you or one of your friends, he is not to have contact with her - if she establishes contact she is immediately off the premises. YOUR life is in danger with him around. If he sets foot on your property, immediately call 911. He is not welcome, ever.

Jesus fucking Christ. Has she been told that she most likely will not make it out of this situation alive unless she really does "disappear"?!

Accept now that you may lose your friend.

Also, set the ultimatum that if she goes back to him, you will not be there for her. You are only there if she leaves because you will not be privy to her murder.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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16-02-2016, 02:02 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 01:25 PM)xastrogasmx Wrote:  
(16-02-2016 02:07 AM)morondog Wrote:  No She's afraid of him and he treats her and everyone around her like shit. She might have difficulty making the decision but she needs to get the fuck out.

Yeah and I guess last night he came over, and was crying and saying how he always tried to be the best boyfriend for her and that she cheated, even though she's saying she didnt. He still refuses to give her stuff back. And now he also went into the persons house that R and D were hanging out at, the night that R was attacked, and he took this persons car keys, broke into their car, and stole her bagpack with all her money and valuables

....."he always tried to be the best boyfriend for her"...? If that's the best he can do I'd hate to see when he's NOT trying to be the best boyfriend.

This girl needs to get into counseling...and quick!

Others have mentioned this as well but she needs to figure this out herself. If someone is forcing her into counseling when she doesn't think she needs it then it's useless. If you hear her making excuses for his behavior or trying to explain it away then she's a lost cause.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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16-02-2016, 02:17 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
Did her father treat her mother this way? If so, what did she think of her parents?
Ask your friend what she would tell you if your boyfriend treated you this way.

Then get her to follow her own advice. Immediately.
Get her some professional help at a shelter. End of story
And then get the hell out of the way before you become a statistic too ...

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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16-02-2016, 02:19 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 01:58 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Ground rules should also be established. If she is with you or one of your friends, he is not to have contact with her - if she establishes contact she is immediately off the premises. YOUR life is in danger with him around. If he sets foot on your property, immediately call 911. He is not welcome, ever.

Jesus fucking Christ. Has she been told that she most likely will not make it out of this situation alive unless she really does "disappear"?!

Accept now that you may lose your friend.

Also, set the ultimatum that if she goes back to him, you will not be there for her. You are only there if she leaves because you will not be privy to her murder.

Everything you've just said I've been telling her and I feel like she's not listening and she's not taking this situation seriously enough. She doesn't realize that this man is psycho and will hurt her and others around her. Ive already made the decision that if she goes back to him, I can no longer be friends with he . She's talking about moving in with his mother and I'm like really? Are you crazy? And now the person that he stole the money and bag pack from is in danger, because he yelled at her and told her she's the reason why their relationship is failin . I feel like D isn't taking this seriously enough.
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16-02-2016, 02:21 PM
RE: My friend is in a abusive relationship, and her partner is a danger to everyone?
(16-02-2016 02:17 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  Did her father treat her mother this way? If so, what did she think of her parents?
Ask your friend what she would tell you if your boyfriend treated you this way.

Then get her to follow her own advice. Immediately.
Get her some professional help at a shelter. End of story
And then get the hell out of the way before you become a statistic too ...

I believe her mother was a single mother, her and her mom don't get along because her mom doesn't like B. I'm honestly after this, just staying out of it, because I feel like she's gonna go back.
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