My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
15-09-2016, 07:31 AM (This post was last modified: 15-09-2016 07:35 AM by jerseygirlar.)
My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
My friend and I are pretty young (24F). I've known her since kindergarten and we were best friends on and off K-12. I've had pretty sporadic contact with her since high school but I knew she was into drugs. I had hung out with her late last spring and she told me how great she was doing. Drug free, starting college, living with family, good boyfriend, etc. So of course I was shocked on Tuesday night when I got a call from my sister that my friend (D) was in a coma from a drug overdose. She's now on life support.

Her mom is keeping in contact with everyone via facebook and many of her friends are from church and are very religious. I understand she needs that to grieve. But I'm just frustrated. They keep giving credit to god for her still being alive. She's a fucking vegetable with almost no brain activity. But don't worry because god and not the doctors will fix it. Those evil doctors with their facts and realistic prognosis. But why would a loving god rip away a young woman's life like this? I think atheism has actually helped me with my grief in this because I don't have unrealistic expectations that a magic invisible man will save her. I feel like I'm the crazy one when everyone is saying how they're praying for her and god will save her.

These are the two messages that her mother (L) has posted about D.

"Dear Family and Friends..my beautiful daughter D is in need of your prayers. She suffered a brain injury after being deprived of oxygen. She is in a coma now on life support. The doctors are not optimistic but all things are possible with God! D has been fighting these demons for the past six years. Some of you are aware of this but most of you are not. I've tried to keep my daughters addiction hidden but I no longer can. I just wish and pray that I can have my little girl back again. I love her so much. Please please pray for a miracle."

And than this one

"I want to thank each and everyone of you for your endless support, love and prayers. It has meant more to me than words can say. We were told at the family meeting earlier today that there was no hope for D. Defying the odds, the scan done late afternoon showed some blood flow to the brain. God is hearing our prayers"

And there's responses like this:
"L I just put D on my church's prayer chain. Keep the faith - God is in control"
"L if you have Praise and Worship music play it in her room it drives out the darkness and play it everyday and apply the Blood of Jesus over her Brain love You here for you"
"Today is the feast of the sorrowful heart of Mary. Cling to her and plead with her for your daughter!!"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2016, 07:48 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Hug
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2016, 08:03 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Some people cling to their beliefs to comfort them. In times of loss or great tragedy they don't know what else to do.

I am sorry to hear of your friend's current condition.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2016, 08:29 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Sorry to see this. Hug Her mother is hoping against hope for recovery, which sounds unlikely.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2016, 09:04 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
I know it's frustrating but I don't really blame your friend's mother...she's pretty much lost her child.

Her religious beliefs give her hope and comfort, and she's going to need every bit she can get if and when the time comes to pull the plug.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it's rough but do what you can to stick with it.

Hug

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2016, 09:36 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Yes, it can be deeply frustrating but people will turn to whatever will give them comfort in times of crisis and however much you know that what her mother is saying and doing is pointless, there is no getting away from the fact that it is helping her deal with her grief.

Just know that whatever the outcome it may provide you with even more reason to cherish life and live a full and fruitful existence. We've only got the one life so make the most of it.

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Silly Deity's post
15-09-2016, 10:06 AM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
I'm sorry about your friend. People grasp at anything when there is really no way to control a situation. Fear is like that - it is an uncontrollable situation.

Quote:I feel like I'm the crazy one when everyone is saying how they're praying for her and god will save her.

Save her? From what - death - god - ? It's possible they haven't thought this through.
Fear has people grasping for the only tools they were given - their prayers. One would think that their prayers might request a merciful end to D, so she could be with the god they pray to. I suspect the will to survive fights with the "reality" they've constructed in their mind, exposing flaws in their reasoning.

Fear and possibly impending grief, is often what propels people to either lose or at least, question their faith or more deeply entrench themselves into the denial of reality. Fear and grief cause daunting reality to come to the surface - it can be very difficult to grasp.

The mother must be frantic - she's confessed to keeping her child's addiction hidden. It's possible she's seeing that as a mistake. She must feel a tremendous amount of guilt and shame - go easy on her.

Personally, I can't throw peoples' ignorance directly at them in such an uncontrollable circumstance as fear or grief. I'm more inclined to worry about you Jerseygirlar. Hug I hope you have a couple of friends you can hang with as you process all this stuff through your mind.

Heart Be well.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like kim's post
15-09-2016, 12:33 PM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
Each person deals with grief in their own way. I cannot imagine how I would react if it were my own son or daughter in your friend's situation. I would not let the mother's posts bother you as I too would look for any and every possibility to bring my child back.

I hope you are doing ok and please know that we are here to listen and talk.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored- Aldous Huxley
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like devilsadvoc8's post
15-09-2016, 12:48 PM
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
There is a huge hypocrisy with theists, they are allowed to talk about God in their time of stress, but when an atheist is affected by the same things we are still expected to keep our mouths shut. I know how you feel. My mom is in post op rehab, has been for almost 2 months. Every time I stop by her retirement home to check up on her cat and apartment, everyone tells me they are praying for her. I want to scream at them. I don't because she has to live there.

It is more understandable to let it go in this context because it is her child. But it does suck for atheist living in a theist majority that even in our times of stress we still have to shut up. I don't think theists understand what dicks they are being to atheists when they go through the same things.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Brian37's post
15-09-2016, 12:54 PM (This post was last modified: 15-09-2016 04:19 PM by The Dark One.)
RE: My friend is in a coma and her mom keeps posting about god
I'm with devila...one of my daughters was nearly killed last year. She and her best friend, both 19, were in a 5 car accident, a really bad one. They were hit by a large dumptruck, then a pickup, then an SUV. All on a 70 mph road.

We live on a ranch, and at 10 o'clock we hear a cop blasting his siren at our gate. We went down and it was a state trooper. I am an ex cop, and I could tell by the look on his face it was bad.
He asked if we were the parents of (*******)
We said yes...reluctantly. He told us there had been a terrible accident at 6 oclock..4 hours before! and our daughter was airlifted to the hospital on base.
He tried not to tell us but we sort of squeezed it out of him...the other girl in the car was dead. Our daughter's best friend for most of her life. Like another daughter to us. Our daughter was driving, although not at fault.

Our daughter had a broken neck, all of her ribs on one side, a collapsed lung, a jaw practically ripped off, broken in 3 places, internal bleeding, a lung full of blood that she had aspirated....a broken foot, severe lacerations all over her. She very nearly died.

I am not religious, neither is my wife. We did not even think about god, it just never occurred to us. But I would have prayed to a giant inflatable clown at that moment if I thought it would help.

When it was obvious our daughter would survive, people kept coming by and saying things like "God protected her, you should thank him" etc. Her best friend- let's call her Amy- what, God fucking hated Amy? All this was just to snuff out this 19 year old girl, everybody else was just collateral damage?

I hate religion. I think it's as close to true evil as we'll ever see. But your friend's mom doesn't know any other way to grieve...so just grit your teeth and let it go.

Sorry for your loss, but even if there was a god, he didn't take her...she took herself. I've never seen a true addict recover for life...maybe for 10, 15 years...but every one I've known has lost, in the end. It's very, very sad, to me. I'm sure some do make it, but as a cop I saw the worst of the worst. Your friend's mom has to deal with her death, but she also has to deal with the facts of her life, which can be harder. Try to comfort her if you can, and let her deal with everything the only way she can.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like The Dark One's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: