My friend on Mental Disorders
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04-04-2017, 05:39 PM
My friend on Mental Disorders
Hey guys.

My husband is talking to his friend about what's been going on with me and he said something that really pissed him off. Essentially his friend asked why I was trying to go to therapy and made a comment on how my disorder, OCD, wasn't worth being upset about and was a petty disorder to have.

My husband calmly explained what OCD was, to avoid misconception and the friend retaliated saying that he, himself, was ridden with disorders so he knows which ones are "worthy" and those that are not.

Needless to say that made me feel like shit on a really shitty day...
I am starting to talk about what I'm going through more in the hopes of maybe making myself feel better. I've avoided talking about it with others who are not close to avoid to worry that they may find me pretentious or think that I'm pitying myself.

I will say that I am a long term sufferer of an illness I never asked for and it has been the hardest thing to live through so far. I feel demeaned to a certain extent and I'm not sure if I should let his words offend me considering I know how bad my "not worthy" disorder is.

I'm just afraid people on here will see me more of a complainer than a contributor. I just wanted to get this off my chest though...
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04-04-2017, 06:11 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
(04-04-2017 05:39 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  I'm just afraid people on here will see me more of a complainer than a contributor.

You are offering us insights into your life. That's always interesting even if sad in the details.
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04-04-2017, 06:12 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
So that friend is a dick. Don't worry about him.
Everybody has issues and how bad they fell for that person is subjective. He cannot judge you, he is not in your shoes.
Generally, just try to not worry about what others might think. I know that's not easy, but once you master that skill, you will feel very free all of a sudden.

The term OCD is used very lightly nowadays so that when you are actually diagnosed with it, it is not taken seriously anymore because the term is very commonly used for just having a bit of a stupid habit. But that does not in-valuate the legitimacy of your diagnosis which you probably received from a professional.
The other thing that is important here is the fact that you have more problems than "only" OCD. Things are mounting up and they are becoming too much at this point. It is absolutely fine and legitimate to go to a professional and seek help. If you break your leg, you go to the hospital. If you have a headache, you go to the pharmacy. If you get the flu, you go to you GP. So right now you have mental problems, so you go to therapy.
Therapy saves lifes while casts only safe legs. Again, that "friend" is just a dick if he decides that your problem is not worth seeking help for.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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04-04-2017, 06:19 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
(04-04-2017 06:12 PM)Leerob Wrote:  So that friend is a dick. Don't worry about him.
Everybody has issues and how bad they fell for that person is subjective. He cannot judge you, he is not in your shoes.
Generally, just try to not worry about what others might think. I know that's not easy, but once you master that skill, you will feel very free all of a sudden.

The term OCD is used very lightly nowadays so that when you are actually diagnosed with it, it is not taken seriously anymore because the term is very commonly used for just having a bit of a stupid habit. But that does not in-valuate the legitimacy of your diagnosis which you probably received from a professional.
The other thing that is important here is the fact that you have more problems than "only" OCD. Things are mounting up and they are becoming too much at this point. It is absolutely fine and legitimate to go to a professional and seek help. If you break your leg, you go to the hospital. If you have a headache, you go to the pharmacy. If you get the flu, you go to you GP. So right now you have mental problems, so you go to therapy.
Therapy saves lifes while casts only safe legs. Again, that "friend" is just a dick if he decides that your problem is not worth seeking help for.

I recieved a diagnosis when I was 15 years old after a few years of dealing with the symptoms solo.

I know it sounds childish but I'm 23 (almost 24...) and I still have no idea how not to take stuff like that seriously... I know I probably care too much and that he is ignorant but I dunno. I need to man up a little, I suppose. XD
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04-04-2017, 06:21 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
(04-04-2017 06:11 PM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(04-04-2017 05:39 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  I'm just afraid people on here will see me more of a complainer than a contributor.

You are offering us insights into your life. That's always interesting even if sad in the details.

Thank you. Smile

I'm a self conscious about it because I know in modern society mental illness has become romanticized to no end and I don't want to contribute to it or make myself look like I'm a victim because I just happen to have something unfortunate...
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04-04-2017, 06:29 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
Unless this 'friend' is a qualified doctor/counselor/therapist who is privy to all your medical history...his opinion means little.

Let those who are qualified help you deal with your OCD.

We have a couple places here that are specifically to get things off your chest...here...a spot that is heavily monitored to keep the jerks on a short leash...and the ranting corner which can be a free-for-all so make sure you are okay with hearing things you might not like there.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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04-04-2017, 06:32 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
(04-04-2017 06:19 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  
(04-04-2017 06:12 PM)Leerob Wrote:  So that friend is a dick. Don't worry about him.
Everybody has issues and how bad they fell for that person is subjective. He cannot judge you, he is not in your shoes.
Generally, just try to not worry about what others might think. I know that's not easy, but once you master that skill, you will feel very free all of a sudden.

The term OCD is used very lightly nowadays so that when you are actually diagnosed with it, it is not taken seriously anymore because the term is very commonly used for just having a bit of a stupid habit. But that does not in-valuate the legitimacy of your diagnosis which you probably received from a professional.
The other thing that is important here is the fact that you have more problems than "only" OCD. Things are mounting up and they are becoming too much at this point. It is absolutely fine and legitimate to go to a professional and seek help. If you break your leg, you go to the hospital. If you have a headache, you go to the pharmacy. If you get the flu, you go to you GP. So right now you have mental problems, so you go to therapy.
Therapy saves lifes while casts only safe legs. Again, that "friend" is just a dick if he decides that your problem is not worth seeking help for.

I recieved a diagnosis when I was 15 years old after a few years of dealing with the symptoms solo.

I know it sounds childish but I'm 23 (almost 24...) and I still have no idea how not to take stuff like that seriously... I know I probably care too much and that he is ignorant but I dunno. I need to man up a little, I suppose. XD

Some of it is self confidence and not giving a flying fuck what others think - therapy will help with that Smile I certainly didn't have that mastered at 23. I'm nearly 32 and a heavy handed dose of life drama and bitterness from nursing burnout has certainly helped me in that arena.

FWIW, I have ADHD and am making it to the other side of a major depressive episode - some people think I'm just air headed or drug seeking and need to "get over" being sad.

The friend is ignorant and/or a cunt.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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04-04-2017, 06:33 PM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2017 07:06 PM by Vera.)
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
I really feel your pain and share your annoyment (more than annoyment, really). I've ranted about OCD before and people using the term willy-nilly (esp. in the incarnation "I am OCD". No, you fucking ain't! Does anyone say "I'm cancer" or "I'm depression"?! OCD is the name of the disease, you ignorant fool. But that's a side issue).

OCD might not be schizophrenia, but it's a nasty little thing (not so little in those who have it really bad) and it can - and does - wreak havoc with your brain (and life) all on its own, even without the various comorbidities.

That guy was not only a jerk, but an ignorant one, who thinks OCD is a minor character trait that makes you tidy up and wash your hands a lot, and worry about leaving the stove on, and I am sick and tired of this. How exactly did OCD become this cartoon version of itself?!

The excellent British documentary programme Horizon has an episode on OCD. Isn't perfect, but is still interesting.

Good luck, man, it might never go away, but you'll get better at handling it (and yeah, there *is* a lot to handle, I know). I've overcome several compulsions all on my own (wasn't easy but I did it). The thoughts and general tendency of my brain to latch onto a problem (if there isn't one, to invent) and then blow it out of all proportion and obsess about it incessantly are not so easy to deal with. But I know I don't have it nearly as bad as others, really.

I rather like this piece, which pokes fun (not so gently at all) at all those who think OCD is a cute little quirk, the type the heroine in an romcom will have (and yeah, I was once told that since I don't like to tidy up my things, I don't have OCD. Of course, the guy who said it was a grade-A idiot, possibly the stupidest person I've ever met, or at least one of them (I've met quite a few really dumb people, sadly)...)

Experts across the country are warning that America is in the throes of a new mental health epidemic. Over the past decade, psychologists have reported record numbers of those who suffer from being, like, suuuuper OCD – and the figures are only getting worse.

“Super OCD” is not to be confused with textbook obsessive compulsive disorder, which can be characterized by unwanted compulsive rituals and disturbing intrusive thoughts that detract from one’s quality of life. Rather, those who are super OCD report experiencing symptoms that include adherence to conventions of basic human hygiene and really liking their pencils to be sharp.

“It’s a nightmare,” said Amy Smith, whose harrowing journey to acceptance began when she took an online quiz that one time which gauged her reaction to disturbing images like crooked pictures and floor tiles that don’t match up.

“When I see something that is uneven, it kind of bugs me. Almost no one else feels this way; I am very unique,” Smith confessed. “I’m able to forget about the uneven thing as soon as I look away, but for those few seconds the mild displeasure is overwhelming.”

Jane Lee first suspected she was super OCD after she spent a leisurely afternoon alphabetizing her collection of cookbooks. Her fears were confirmed when a co-worker wore mismatched socks to the office and she felt compelled to look away.

“I’ll be out with friends and everything is going fine, and then something will happen – someone will drop a slice or pizza or spill wine down my shirt, so I’ll say ‘better clean that up.’ And everyone will just go silent,” Lee said. “It’s like the elephant in the room.”

Lee experienced the stigma associated with the illness firsthand when her cousin Jen, who has conventional obsessive compulsive disorder, suggested that Lee was not, in fact, super OCD.

“For some people mental illness means debilitating panic attacks and uncontrollable, repetitive actions, and for others it means preferring your jackets face the same way in your closet,” Lee said. “It’s a spectrum.”

Psychiatrist Dr. Frank Black studies the disorder and deems himself a pioneer in the field. According to Black, super OCD is still considered a fringe issue, with many health professionals unwilling to classify it as “something that exists.”

“Some of my colleagues would define mental illness as that which ‘interferes with people’s lives,’ but I think that’s a narrow-minded way of looking at things,” he said. “I had this one patient who would sometimes double-check that he’d locked his car. The seconds it took for him to do that are seconds he’ll never get back.”

Black has dedicated his career to developing treatment strategies for patients like Amy and Jane, and he hopes other brave sufferers will continue to come out of their immaculate closets and seek the therapy they need.

“If I can help even one person hang their blue sweaters next to their red sweaters, I know I’ll have done my job.”

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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04-04-2017, 06:33 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
I don't see you as a complainer. Hug

As for your husband's friend, it's hurtful to hear somebody minimizing your struggle. He sounds like someone without much empathy, but maybe he's just stupid and hasn't experienced much. Maybe he'll change his opinion over time.

It's probably an attitude you'll run into more, though. Know that there are some people who'll never understand, for various reasons; know also that not everyone is worth convincing. Save your energy for people who count, the therapy that will help, and the things you want to do.

(writing this in April, the month where I'm going to read innumerable comments around the internet about how there's no such thing as autism, it's just bad parenting--my son is autistic--I know that the willful ignorance on display will make me feel crazy-mad, if I let it, and that will get in the way of doing the things I want to do.)
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04-04-2017, 06:38 PM
RE: My friend on Mental Disorders
(04-04-2017 06:19 PM)Larai19 Wrote:  I know it sounds childish but I'm 23 (almost 24...) and I still have no idea how not to take stuff like that seriously... I know I probably care too much and that he is ignorant but I dunno. I need to man up a little, I suppose. XD

I wouldn't say childish. And there is sadly no golden rule to stop caring about what others think. For me a lot of it is related to a general "fuck you anyway"-mindset. Other people have to reason or tell themselves certain mantras. You will find your way out of caring about stupid opinions (I chose these words carefully) soon enough. Like with that friend. If you think of it, who is he to decide about your mental state anyway? I agree with Anjele, that guy is not your doctor. Fuck him and his unprofessional opinion. He can run his mouth, just don't let his words impact your life.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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