My grandmother died Sunday morning.
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26-02-2013, 02:27 PM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(26-02-2013 12:42 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  We've been dealing with her impending death for a couple of weeks, so I had plenty of time for visitation and closure.

This is also why I haven't been around much.

Anyway, she and I were very close... so this is hard. This is the first time losing a family member, and I don't think it's fully hit me yet. The funeral is Thursday, and I'm thinking it's going to hit me pretty hard... especially being a pallbearer.

It's just a really sad time for my family right now.

I'm going to be dealing with this, so I probably won't be around that much... a post here... a post there.

But, I'm just too sad to actually have conversations. Moreover, me trying to be productive at work is futile. I've been pretty useless the past couple of days. I try to concentrate but my mind just isn't processing information like it used to. Luckily my supervisor is awesome and understanding.

I just miss my Maw-Maw.

Don't worry about when it will hit you or whatever your reaction may be - everyone is different. Some of us feel a massive smack all at once, some feel it poking for a long time, some feel nothing for some time and suddenly it hits. Can be minutes, can be years and even decades.
Whatever your coping mechanism, it's right for you.
Lack of concentration is very typical. So is forgetfulness and drifting thoughts. Inattention. Becoming taciturn. It's all ok, just worry about getting through it and not how. Hug

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27-02-2013, 01:52 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(26-02-2013 02:26 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  And Kim, she was 93.
93... way to go Maw-Maw. Thumbsup
Born in 1920 and became a Great Maw-Maw! That's a lot of real life in between those two events. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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27-02-2013, 05:14 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
Sorry to hear your news, bro.

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27-02-2013, 08:08 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
Been thinking about this death thing more...

You know, the first time it happens is the worst. You get used to seeing people get sick, and they go to the doc, sometimes they spend a long time in hospital, but mostly they get better - or they're people you don't really care about anyway. People far away. People who're not *close*. It's sad when they die. Sometimes they're even friends, and you realise that yeah, you won't see them again, ever.

And then there's that first close friend, that first close family member. KC, I dunno how it really was for you, but I couldn't imagine it happening at first. I had a prof who I really respected. He was... amazing. He was the first guy who died and it hit me really hard. I cried for a week. More or less solid. I kept thinking that I'd wake up and it'd just have been a dream.

That first one... that's the toughest. After that... you see the world differently. Love people more, live your life to the max. Not because one day *you* won't be there but because one day *they* won't be. I couldn't give a shit about the day I die... I will be dead, I won't care. But... when a friend dies, when someone you have loved dies... then *you're* left behind. That's the sucky bit. That's the bit I hate.

The thing is... you realise after a while that they never really leave you. I've got memories, but even more, no one ever leaves nothing, everyone leaves their mark on the world, on you. Every now and then you'll catch yourself thinking "she taught me that" or "that was her favourite picnic spot" or... any number of things. That will continue your whole life...
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27-02-2013, 09:34 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
So sorry KC Hug

Life is short and hard like a body building elf-- Blood Hound Gang
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27-02-2013, 11:39 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(27-02-2013 01:52 AM)kim Wrote:  
(26-02-2013 02:26 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  And Kim, she was 93.
93... way to go Maw-Maw. Thumbsup
Born in 1920 and became a Great Maw-Maw! That's a lot of real life in between those two events. Shy
1919 actually Smile

And yes... she had a lot of life... I can't even imagine everything that she saw and the changes that she witnessed during her life.

It's really cool to think about.

A couple of months ago, I got to talk to her about all of this. She was telling me all about what she had experience in her lifetime. It was really cool.

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27-02-2013, 12:46 PM
My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(27-02-2013 11:39 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(27-02-2013 01:52 AM)kim Wrote:  93... way to go Maw-Maw. Thumbsup
Born in 1920 and became a Great Maw-Maw! That's a lot of real life in between those two events. Shy
1919 actually Smile

And yes... she had a lot of life... I can't even imagine everything that she saw and the changes that she witnessed during her life.

It's really cool to think about.

A couple of months ago, I got to talk to her about all of this. She was telling me all about what she had experience in her lifetime. It was really cool.

Her stories now live on only in you and your family. Don't lose them. Consider writing them somewhere.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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27-02-2013, 02:52 PM (This post was last modified: 27-02-2013 02:55 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(26-02-2013 12:42 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  I just miss my Maw-Maw.

Been there, brother. Going on 20 years now. Her last words to me were "the children". I knew what she meant. I balled my eyes out through the ceremony, and through the pallbearing, a strong memory while carrying the casket is "She's really light given how heavy she was." ... Fuck, now I'm balling my eyes out again.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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28-02-2013, 10:43 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang on to those memories and love your family the way she loved you. It's the best way to keep her around Smile

My fiance and I both lost our grandmas last year. There's something really special about that generation. I get a little gut check every holiday and birthday when her card doesn't come in the mail.

If Jesus died for our sins, why is there still sin? If man was created from dust, why is there still dust? If Americans came from Europe, why are there still Europeans?
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28-02-2013, 10:49 AM
RE: My grandmother died Sunday morning.
(26-02-2013 12:42 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  We've been dealing with her impending death for a couple of weeks, so I had plenty of time for visitation and closure.

This is also why I haven't been around much.

Anyway, she and I were very close... so this is hard. This is the first time losing a family member, and I don't think it's fully hit me yet. The funeral is Thursday, and I'm thinking it's going to hit me pretty hard... especially being a pallbearer.

It's just a really sad time for my family right now.

I'm going to be dealing with this, so I probably won't be around that much... a post here... a post there.

But, I'm just too sad to actually have conversations. Moreover, me trying to be productive at work is futile. I've been pretty useless the past couple of days. I try to concentrate but my mind just isn't processing information like it used to. Luckily my supervisor is awesome and understanding.

I just miss my Maw-Maw.
I'm sorry...It's hard. Hug You will get through it...it's just baby steps.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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