My hangover is enough of a reminder of last night.
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16-12-2012, 11:44 PM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
Sorry I just saw the post about you stating you're a functioning alcoholic. I've never heard of that. I've heard of not currently fucked alcoholic and currently fucked alcoholic. Sounds like you're kidding yourself.
You said as an example of your wife's behaviour that she was condescending when you mentioned that younger going to pick up some beer. To me that sounds like disapproval of a hot button issue. My guess is she's voiced her displeasure about your drinking in the past,and maybe there was a fight about it so now maybe she just grunts her displeasure to avoid another one.
Do you have many examples of condescending behaviour not involving alcohol?

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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16-12-2012, 11:46 PM (This post was last modified: 17-12-2012 06:19 PM by germanyt.)
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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16-12-2012, 11:48 PM (This post was last modified: 17-12-2012 06:20 PM by germanyt.)
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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16-12-2012, 11:49 PM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
(16-12-2012 11:39 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(16-12-2012 11:26 PM)Misanthropik Wrote:  Objectivity and decency disgust you? I can't honestly say that I'm surprised. You've shown yourself to be nothing but self-serving and self-righteous thus far. It would be foolish to expect you to change your routine.
No, your immediate defense of her disgusts me. You are defending her position rather than mine because I had the nerve to say something about it first. I'm looking for advice on what to do about the condescending and boring state of my sex life and marriage. You are only interested in bashing the person who had the balls to speak up about having a problem. As far as I'm concerned you can get the fuck out of this thread.
As I stated, I would immediately defend YOU as well if circumstances called for it.

As it stands, I am defending her rather than you because YOU are the one presenting a lack of love, respect and decency in accordance with the social contract into which you've entered, and with the interests and well-being of another.

And, if you go back and read, carefully, you'll see that I offered very valid advice on what you should do. From where I'm standing, however, it seems that all you want is validation to fulfill yourself in whatever way you see fit. That's why you take such aggressive offense to the things I'm saying. It's very telling.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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16-12-2012, 11:51 PM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
(16-12-2012 11:46 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(16-12-2012 11:38 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Wanting more in the sack is not what's making you out to be the bad guy, it's the way you're addressing it. Taking about how other girls hit on you, how you don't want to cheat but you know...
Also at no point in this thread have you expressed an interest in seeing her point of view. The closest you've gotten is to admit she might have one.
I mean fuck GT, you've hit on girls on this forum and make no apologies for that behaviour. You come across like a guy who's used to getting what they want and when that doesn't happen you pout and look for things to blame. Life sucks but sometimes it's our fault life sucks. Believe me I know. My current life situation is almost entirely my fault and it took a long time for me to realize that and accept it. I blamed my wife for a lot of my problems and almost none of them were her fault. Now that I know that I'm a lot happier in my relationship. We still have our problems but at least they are real and I'm not imagining them just to avoid accepting blame.
First of all, minor flirting with others on this forum is a joke. It's in good fun and by no means would ever result in any physical or emotional contact that would constitute cheating. I post copy/pastas for lulz. That's hardly the same thing as PMs asking for nudes or something else that could be considered morally questionable.

I'm suggesting that you shouldn't have to make your love work. Maybe were not made to live together forever. I'm not saying there is another woman that would make me happy for 10, 20, or 50 years. Just that right now I'm in a rut and the bulk of it resides on her. She has become irritatingly condescending and what is supposed to be the most libido high time in her life is the most boring and dull time. Have I considered me as the problem? Of course. But I also am aware of my own attempts to spice things up. The full body massages that result in nothing. Getting my daughter to go to bed early only to have my wife claim she isn't in the mood or is too tired. I went years after meeting her without masturbating. Now I feel like there stereotypical husband who's unhappy with his marriage/sex life but only sticks around because of the kids.
Please note: if there's an emotional disconnect, all the hot massages in the world will not put her in the mood....

Drinking Beverage Grab a cuppa' joe; sit-n-read my blog for a spell: www.vaweber.wordpress.com
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16-12-2012, 11:56 PM (This post was last modified: 17-12-2012 06:20 PM by germanyt.)
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

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16-12-2012, 11:56 PM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
You definitely sound like you're looking for a way out instead of a way to fix the problems.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love takes work. And as with anything in life the more you work at it the better it gets. It's like getting a puppy (which you were just talking about getting, definitely a spur of the moment mood guy),if you aren't prepared to do the work and take on the responsibility of the puppy, and don't get the puppy. But if you are and you spend the time to take care of and nurture that puppy it will pay you back in spades.

If you don't feel like maintaining the relationship then tell your wife and get out now. Because that feeling will destroy any further attempt at reconciling the relationship. You'll be the best sabatour that ever existed.

But think about the negatives that could happen and not just the positives. Think about how it would feel to end up without her there every morning nagging you.
Either way you owe her the absolute truth, and to hear her full side of the argument without interruption.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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16-12-2012, 11:58 PM (This post was last modified: 17-12-2012 06:20 PM by germanyt.)
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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17-12-2012, 12:00 AM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
I'll tell you one thing that fucks kids up more than two divorced parents.
Two parents who hate each other under the same roof. I realize you care fuck-all about your wife, but at least consider sparing your kids from the bullshit of mommy and daddy's issues.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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17-12-2012, 12:04 AM
RE: My sex life has become a total bore.
(16-12-2012 11:48 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(16-12-2012 11:43 PM)Percepticon Wrote:  Well that right there tells me you have no interest in actually having a loving, partnered relationship with your wife. ALL relationships take work of some sort. I didn't realize you were doing this for social acceptance--I thought you wanted to improve relations with the woman you loved enough to say, "I do" to.
Ever consider that the woman I said 'I do' to is no longer the woman I said 'I do' to?
Yes; people change all the time; it's work to weather the changes; I'm not suggesting every marriage is meant to be lifelong & permanent; I've been replying based on what I'm gathering from your posts. Your posts indicated you wanted an improved love life & I'm coming to you from that mindset. Then you seemed to indicate maybe that's *not* what you want, which is what I was acknowledging.

1) do you love your wife?

1a) if yes, do you love her enough to work towards positive change for your marriage?

1b) if no, do want to rekindle love with your wife?

2) do you know what you want? Please share that with us so we can actually help you.

I'm not being snarky, but we can't give decent advice if we misunderstand your intent...or if you yourself are still confused about what outcome you want.

Drinking Beverage Grab a cuppa' joe; sit-n-read my blog for a spell: www.vaweber.wordpress.com
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