My husband found Jesus
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14-05-2017, 11:01 PM
RE: My husband found Jesus
(14-05-2017 10:49 PM)Robvalue Wrote:  It makes me sick when people recruit those who are vulnerable into their cult, under the guise of support. I've heard it so many times.

completely agree! Though it would be unrelated to Christianity but the method is the same (using weakness and vulnerability). I've seen nice people becoming fundamentalist muslims, then islamists and finally, full-fledged jihadis. I saw these with my own eyes!
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15-05-2017, 03:19 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
Honestly, that sucks the big one.

I would only really suggest to have a sit down talk about you relationship as a whole, leaving God/religion outside the house whilst you do it. I think it'd be worth suggesting that he can still do whatever he likes in terms of religion, but to leave it at the door, IE no open practicing in the house or trying to push it in your face. If he can't do that for you, might be worth re-evaluating a few things.

"I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner" - Rick
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15-05-2017, 05:22 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
Hi Miyazaki.

I am so sorry that this has happened to your marriage, to your husband and to you. Some excellent advice has been given, with which I agree.

But...like the drinker or the smoker, whom you wish would quit and the obese spouse, whom you wish would lose weight, only the person who wants to change is the one who will change.

In your husband's mind, he has made what was to him a positive change because he wanted to...because the change supports some need that he had. It will, indeed, be a long, hard haul to try to get him to abandon that change he made, especially since there is camaraderie with his church.

Only you can decide how much of the rest of your life you are willing to devote to get "the real him back." He most likely believes that this version is the "real" him and has hopes that you will join and find the "real" you when you return to God-worship. And...he gets that support from his fellow God-worshippers.

Best of luck to you...but don't give it too long. Sometimes you just have to let go and save yourself.

Big Hugs.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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15-05-2017, 06:08 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
I agree, relationships in which you expect or need someone to change in a big way don't tend to work out well. But there should hopefully be a reasonable compromise available, at least.

I can't stomach people who refuse to keep religion out of things, and have to inject it into every subject. If he's got to that stage, the virus has probably spread too far.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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15-05-2017, 07:08 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
Sad That sounds terrible. I agree that it would be a deal breaker for me. It sounds like his church has turned him into a fanatic. He may need some sort of intervention.

When my kid is acting up, I redirect their attention. Not to say your husband is a child. lol. But I find it to be a very effective way to end an undesired behavior. I wonder if you could redirect him to a hobby or something he enjoys but never really explored. Eat up his time.

Good luck to you!

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

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15-05-2017, 08:02 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
Quit supporting him and even kick his ungrateful ass out of the house.
If he comes to his senses, fine.
If he doesn't, you're well rid of him.

You say you don't want a divorce as you love your husband.
I contend that you do not love your husband - you love who he used to be.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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15-05-2017, 08:32 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
(14-05-2017 02:12 PM)Miyazaki Wrote:  The thing that really makes this difficult is that this church is all Japanese, it's the one place he can go in the city where we live to be surrounded by his native language and culture.

Wait, are the sermons in Japanese? I'd go just to see that.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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15-05-2017, 08:44 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
Have your husband turn him in for the reward money Drinking Beverage

(Sorry for the flippancy)

Yeah, that's a crappy situation. Relationships between religious and nonreligious people can be (and usually are) hard at the best of times (I can't ever imagine myself in one), but it's much worse when you already have a complicated history with that religion and the other person doesn't respect or even grasp it.

You're right about finding another Japanese group or activity in town, I think that would help a lot.

That bit about the real him... I really hope it's still there and you get it back. It must be horrible when the person you love becomes someone else but you still love and miss the one *you* knew and loved...

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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15-05-2017, 09:32 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
It sounds to me that he has not just become religious, but also mean, disrespectful, unappreciative and inconsiderate. Abusive even.
Please don't let him abuse you. You deserve to be treated well. Being religious is no excuse for behaving the way he does.

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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15-05-2017, 09:43 AM
RE: My husband found Jesus
(14-05-2017 02:12 PM)Miyazaki Wrote:  He says he loves me second and that he loves Jesus first.
This says it all really.

If he won't pick a real physical person in front of him, and instead chooses a fictional deity, the man needs mental assistance.

As others have said: Stop providing for for him and have a bit of a chat with him.

"I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner" - Rick
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