My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
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17-07-2012, 05:25 AM
My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
A bit of a back story first, if you don't mind. I am a 26 year old male with 4 prescription medications prescribed to me for various reasons. I have a family history of mental problems on my mothers side and not much on my fathers. I have always been a cautious person when interacting with people whom I do not know and I believe it has served me well. I joined the US navy out of high school and I became a nuclear trained Machinists Mate. Everything up to this point is pretty great, I have a job I think I will like and I get some money for college after my 6 years.

This is about the place where it goes downhill. To make a very miserable story short, I had many difficulties while in the navy with the way they treat people and I was not taking it very well at all. I was diagnosed by a navy doctor to have anxiety (which I did have panic attacks whilst on the ship) and depression and given a medication for it. Unfortunately, I could not continue to do the job I spent so much time and the navy had spent the resources to train me in due to it being a "mind altering drug". I then got out at about the 4 year mark to start my life anew.

Over the next few years, I attempted to jump right into the job market but to no avail. I recently decided to use my GI bill to go to college and I was accepted to Purdue University for Mechanical Engineering Technology major. First semester was ok, but not great. Second semester I got hit by something I never saw coming, social anxiety disorder. I knew being standoffish how I approached people, but something about huge classrooms of people which I have never meet before did something to me. I wont go into it, but I ended up blowing off the last part of the semester. I then went back to the VA and I was prescribed something for that.

I confide in my mother more than any other person and since exiting the navy, I have been less able to find and stay on a good sleep pattern. As time has passed, I have noticed more and more anger problems and violent dreams and dreams of re-occurring themes. Without going into too much detail on the specifics, I am basically waking myself up punching and kicking. Not punching and kicking in my dream, literally punching and kicking. I did have one outburst with an ex of mine where I ended up slightly punching here in the face and then rolling over and going back to sleep only to figure out in the morning it was not a dream.

Now here comes the fun part. Within a month, I have come out to my immediately family that I am an atheist and it has devastated my mother. I do not tell her everything, but most things. Recently I admitted to her that my dreams are getting worse and I am having even more trouble sleeping even due to a prescription to assist with sleep. I told her "I think I am afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid I am going to hurt my cats.", which I have 2 of and they sleep at my feet. Just by the title, you know what she said and I have always kept an open mind to everything around me, yet I have a thirst for why something works the way it does. I was confirmed a catholic at 14ish, but I am never really sure I ever believed in god.

So for a slight recap, I am a great guy at 26 years of age on 4 medications for anxiety depression, sleep problems, social anxiety disorder and most likely PTSD. I can attribute nearly all of these problems to the Navy and the VA is doing a great job in assisting me to overcome and adapt. I blame no single person for what I am now, I blame no entity for what I became and I see my problems as something which can be fixed by the same species which caused them.

A few days ago, I return a phone call from my mother. Were start talking about the boring crap of whats new, how are you doing, yada yada who cares stuff. I bring up that I am feeling I may be afraid to go to sleep and I get something I probably could not prepare for. "I believe the devil is trying to get to you." I don't agree, but I wont discredit it either. Apparently, me opening my mouth and saying I don't believe opened something up to allow the devil in, but ONLY if you say it. It must be spoken, It must be verbalized, like the devil can't see I do not believe in him or his father. To me it makes no sense, but I will not discount the slight possibility I am wrong.

I do not know where to go from here. I have no way to sooth her pain and I wish to. It is bad enough to come out to a family not knowing how they will react, but to have someone believe that I may suddenly change into the spawn of satin, because I do not believe, is heart wrenching. If you have any experience or ideas, please, please post them and I will of course take them all into consideration.

Thank you for taking time out of your day and energy from your life to help a fellow primate in need.

Sleepless at Purdue.
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17-07-2012, 05:43 AM (This post was last modified: 17-07-2012 06:00 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.




http://www.amazon.com/The-Origin-Satan-C...y+of+satan

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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17-07-2012, 07:15 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
The Spawn of Satin. Big Grin

Sorry. You may be taking too many medications, dude. Sleep paralysis is how the body disconnects the mind from acting shit out in dreams; seems to me the chemicals may be suppressing this.

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17-07-2012, 08:59 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
Ask her to read Sagan's book "The Demon Haunted World"

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17-07-2012, 10:22 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
I used to take sleep medications that made me even more sleepless and more agitated than before. After several crazy nights I finally read the "Patient Information Leaflet" or whatever the paper that comes in the box is called and sure enough, it said something to the effect of "it can calm the patient, or make him more agitated" which is completely ridiculous and contradictory if you ask me. But anyway, it was having the "agitating" effect on me. Check your medication for what it does. I dumped mine and took a glass of warm milk instead, it seemed to work better and have fewer side effects.
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17-07-2012, 10:47 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
I also suspect your meds or combination of meds. These are all mind altering drugs, so no big surprise your mind is altered.

Aggression can be a side effect of such drugs, just lucky you get it during sleep when it's least likely to hurt anyone else.

I would look for a psychologist I feel comfortable with and who is not religious and start sorting some things out. Not a psychiatrist, you'll just get more mind altering drugs sending you down a path you don't want to go.

Anxiety attacks are quite common and I think several posters here suffer from them. They can be managed, and a good psychologist can help there. They seem to be the first problem you encountered, and that's what got the ball rolling.

Quote: I see my problems as something which can be fixed by the same species which caused them.
Wrong. YOU have to take steps to fix yourself. All the VA will do is throw more drugs at you.

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17-07-2012, 03:15 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
My perfectly normal, highly intelligent mother was reduced to a blubbering idiot who couldn't find her way home by too many meds.

Ditch the pills. Better yet, find a doctor who will work with you to quit the pills rather than go cold turkey. Just reading the possible side effects of that stuff should make you go running screaming out of the pharmacy.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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17-07-2012, 07:22 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
Find something to do; someting to love; something to look forward to.
Create your reason to exist. Decide who you will become and be.

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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18-07-2012, 08:43 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
(17-07-2012 05:25 AM)paxilpwns Wrote:  I do not know where to go from here. I have no way to sooth her pain and I wish to. It is bad enough to come out to a family not knowing how they will react, but to have someone believe that I may suddenly change into the spawn of satin, because I do not believe, is heart wrenching. If you have any experience or ideas, please, please post them and I will of course take them all into consideration.

Thank you for taking time out of your day and energy from your life to help a fellow primate in need.

Sleepless at Purdue.
If I were in your shoes. I'd study pstd, and the other psychological problems you have. Understanding is half the battle.

With your Mom, I'd take it easy. Let her know the devil isn't inside you, and that you are getting help for your problems. What ever crazy things she chooses to say, take it easy and try to be understanding, and reassuring.

It took me about 6 months to convince my Step-mother I wasn't possessed by satan. Now she respects my beliefs and knows I am really in control of me. If that doesn't work, then somebody else might have some better advise then me.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
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18-07-2012, 10:07 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
I feel your pain. My mother has an opinion very much like yours. And I have battled with anxiety and depression problems through much of my own life.

I agree that it's possible the combination of medications you're on could be part of what's making things worse. I agree as well with the suggestion to look for a medical professional who is not religious and who may have a better understanding your particular conditions. Having a doctor who really KNOWS what your illness does to you can help a great deal. They know the best course of action to take to help you relieve your symptoms and live more comfortably. Seeking such a doctor may take time and may be difficult, but I strongly suggest trying.
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