My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
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19-07-2012, 01:09 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
Man, you're like Spider Jerusalem, taking all those pills every day... I see that your doctors just give you new pills for your new problems, but did any of them look at your previous state and the pills you are already taking? Some of your problems could easily be caused by the wrong combination of pills. With the right combo, maybe it is possible to cut back on some of the pills, or stay on just one, that will treat the major problem, so that the rest of the problems may go away with the major one.

Try to work it out with someone professional.

And seriously, you do not believe in God, but you are afraid to speak out: "I don't believe in Devil"? Seriously man? Not only that there is no Devil, but the thing that you think this way only heats up the paranoia inside you. You need to realise that the problems you have are biological-chemical reactions in your brain, not the work of imaginary enemy of an imaginary Creator, that was Creators First Officer in the beginning.

The very good thing about all this is your understanding of your problem. When you know and acknowledge that you have a problem, you are on a good path.

Stay strong, live long and prosper.

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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19-07-2012, 08:52 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.


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20-07-2012, 12:40 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
(17-07-2012 05:25 AM)paxilpwns Wrote:  A bit of a back story first, if you don't mind. I am a 26 year old male with 4 prescription medications prescribed to me for various reasons. I have a family history of mental problems on my mothers side and not much on my fathers. I have always been a cautious person when interacting with people whom I do not know and I believe it has served me well. I joined the US navy out of high school and I became a nuclear trained Machinists Mate. Everything up to this point is pretty great, I have a job I think I will like and I get some money for college after my 6 years.

This is about the place where it goes downhill. To make a very miserable story short, I had many difficulties while in the navy with the way they treat people and I was not taking it very well at all. I was diagnosed by a navy doctor to have anxiety (which I did have panic attacks whilst on the ship) and depression and given a medication for it. Unfortunately, I could not continue to do the job I spent so much time and the navy had spent the resources to train me in due to it being a "mind altering drug". I then got out at about the 4 year mark to start my life anew.

Over the next few years, I attempted to jump right into the job market but to no avail. I recently decided to use my GI bill to go to college and I was accepted to Purdue University for Mechanical Engineering Technology major. First semester was ok, but not great. Second semester I got hit by something I never saw coming, social anxiety disorder. I knew being standoffish how I approached people, but something about huge classrooms of people which I have never meet before did something to me. I wont go into it, but I ended up blowing off the last part of the semester. I then went back to the VA and I was prescribed something for that.

I confide in my mother more than any other person and since exiting the navy, I have been less able to find and stay on a good sleep pattern. As time has passed, I have noticed more and more anger problems and violent dreams and dreams of re-occurring themes. Without going into too much detail on the specifics, I am basically waking myself up punching and kicking. Not punching and kicking in my dream, literally punching and kicking. I did have one outburst with an ex of mine where I ended up slightly punching here in the face and then rolling over and going back to sleep only to figure out in the morning it was not a dream.

Now here comes the fun part. Within a month, I have come out to my immediately family that I am an atheist and it has devastated my mother. I do not tell her everything, but most things. Recently I admitted to her that my dreams are getting worse and I am having even more trouble sleeping even due to a prescription to assist with sleep. I told her "I think I am afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid I am going to hurt my cats.", which I have 2 of and they sleep at my feet. Just by the title, you know what she said and I have always kept an open mind to everything around me, yet I have a thirst for why something works the way it does. I was confirmed a catholic at 14ish, but I am never really sure I ever believed in god.

So for a slight recap, I am a great guy at 26 years of age on 4 medications for anxiety depression, sleep problems, social anxiety disorder and most likely PTSD. I can attribute nearly all of these problems to the Navy and the VA is doing a great job in assisting me to overcome and adapt. I blame no single person for what I am now, I blame no entity for what I became and I see my problems as something which can be fixed by the same species which caused them.

A few days ago, I return a phone call from my mother. Were start talking about the boring crap of whats new, how are you doing, yada yada who cares stuff. I bring up that I am feeling I may be afraid to go to sleep and I get something I probably could not prepare for. "I believe the devil is trying to get to you." I don't agree, but I wont discredit it either. Apparently, me opening my mouth and saying I don't believe opened something up to allow the devil in, but ONLY if you say it. It must be spoken, It must be verbalized, like the devil can't see I do not believe in him or his father. To me it makes no sense, but I will not discount the slight possibility I am wrong.

I do not know where to go from here. I have no way to sooth her pain and I wish to. It is bad enough to come out to a family not knowing how they will react, but to have someone believe that I may suddenly change into the spawn of satin, because I do not believe, is heart wrenching. If you have any experience or ideas, please, please post them and I will of course take them all into consideration.

Thank you for taking time out of your day and energy from your life to help a fellow primate in need.

Sleepless at Purdue.
Hi there.
Complexity really sucks and you seem to have this in terms of a familial relationship and questionable meds.
We often pay ridiculous homage to family members for decades because we feel guilty if we don't.
I see people as far more worrisome than demons and imps, not withstanding viruses and bacteria if these can be seen as such. Bonds sometimes need breaking, at least temporarily and meds that don't work need to be replaced by ones that might and/ or talk therapy. Good luck! Wink
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20-07-2012, 07:00 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
I very much appreciate everyone's perspective, views and comments. People like you give me new hope.
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20-07-2012, 07:11 PM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
(17-07-2012 05:25 AM)paxilpwns Wrote:  So for a slight recap, I am a great guy at 26 years of age on 4 medications for anxiety depression, sleep problems, social anxiety disorder and most likely PTSD.

VA got you on Seroquel? I heard they were using it for PTSD. Love that shit for sleep. Better than Ambien, Lunesta, temazapam, ... just about anything really.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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23-07-2012, 01:33 AM
RE: My mother believes the devil/demons are trying to get inside me.
(20-07-2012 07:00 PM)paxilpwns Wrote:  I very much appreciate everyone's perspective, views and comments. People like you give me new hope.

You just listen to me and you'll get pretty far in your life. Just look at me...

Tongue

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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