My mother died last evening.
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17-10-2012, 04:07 PM
My mother died last evening.
My mother's health had been declining for some years and a bout of pneumonia was the final straw. One of my brothers and I were with her at the end; another brother was on his way, but was still at the airport when she went.

It was a surprisingly peaceful end, a slow, gentle fade for which I am grateful. She was a remarkable woman who rebuilt her life after leaving her alcoholic husband (my father) at the age of 41 after six children. The youngest four of us were still living at home when she packed us up and left him.

She worked at menial jobs while getting a bachelor's degree, then teaching and getting a master's degree. She taught special needs students for nearly 20 years before retiring. All six of us went to university and all of us got advanced degrees - she set an example of what could be done if you wanted it.

The last few years were hard; she suffered from dementia. If I had believed in any god, this would have been a cruel joke. However, it was a very sad irony to rob a woman so intelligent and energetic of the core of who she was. It was a very long good-bye.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-10-2012, 04:08 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother's passing. : ( Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it more in detail.

Bury me with my guns on, so when I reach the other side - I can show him what it feels like to die.
Bury me with my guns on, so when I'm cast out of the sky, I can shoot the devil right between the eyes.
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17-10-2012, 04:18 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Chas,

I'm very sorry for your loss. Nobody can say anything to ease your pain - I know, I've undergone pretty much exactly what you've described. Your mother sounds like a great woman and certainly the world is a lesser place without her. Don't take it on alone. I hope that you and those you care about can be there for each other and can support each other through these times.

Best wishes for a brighter tomorrow,
Blake

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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17-10-2012, 04:18 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
My condolences.

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17-10-2012, 04:20 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
(17-10-2012 04:07 PM)Chas Wrote:  My mother's health had been declining for some years and a bout of pneumonia was the final straw. One of my brothers and I were with her at the end; another brother was on his way, but was still at the airport when she went.

It was a surprisingly peaceful end, a slow, gentle fade for which I am grateful. She was a remarkable woman who rebuilt her life after leaving her alcoholic husband (my father) at the age of 41 after six children. The youngest four of us were still living at home when she packed us up and left him.

She worked at menial jobs while getting a bachelor's degree, then teaching and getting a master's degree. She taught special needs students for nearly 20 years before retiring. All six of us went to university and all of us got advanced degrees - she set an example of what could be done if you wanted it.

The last few years were hard; she suffered from dementia. If I had believed in any god, this would have been a cruel joke. However, it was a very sad irony to rob a woman so intelligent and energetic of the core of who she was. It was a very long good-bye.


Chas, So sorry to hear that. You are a good son. PM me if you want to talk. My gran also was a brilliant empire builder, who was very close to me. I lost my mind when she died. She also slowly, inevitably went downhill, and it was so hard to see the shell of what had been a brilliant beautiful woman, who was so full of life. Most of all she liked me the best ! Big Grin We would go see her, and sometimes there was a flash of recognition, sometimes not. It was like death, over and over, but not really. It is a cruel joke. Hopefully within a few years some dementias may be a thing of the past. Hug

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Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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17-10-2012, 04:21 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
My sympathy, Chas Heart

She sounded like a beautiful person who just gave and gave to her children. Dementia sucks big time - a sad condition and a miserable way to go for a wonderful woman!
It's obvious you loved her dearly...

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17-10-2012, 04:36 PM
My mother died last evening.
I'm sorry to hear this news, Brother. It sounds like you've already gone through some hard times with her health, and I'm sure you'll miss her greatly. Hug

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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17-10-2012, 05:04 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
What a lovely lady your mom was. I'm sorry for the loss and thank you for sharing her story with us. I wish you and your siblings well over this next while. Hug Heart
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17-10-2012, 05:14 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Chas, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're always such an awesome presence on the forums, and I wish I could offer you more than a few words on an Internet forum. I know I'd be devastated if I lost my parents.

"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
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17-10-2012, 05:28 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
I'm sorry man, but it sounds like you're doing a pretty great job remembering her. That's the most important aspect of an atheists grieving process. Remember her for who she was, remember her best times, and remember her worst.
It's ok to be depressed and just wrecked. That means you loved her. Which it sounds like you did.

If you need to talk more about it we are all here to help any way we can.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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