My mother died last evening.
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18-10-2012, 07:13 AM (This post was last modified: 18-10-2012 08:41 AM by KidCharlemagne1962.)
RE: My mother died last evening.
Hey Chas, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My mom died two years ago and she had dementia too. I know what you mean about the very long goodbye. If you need to vent or chat please feel free to PM or email me.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
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18-10-2012, 08:40 AM
RE: My mother died last evening.
It may seem a little odd to say this, but I'm saying it anyways; thanks for sharing this with us Chas. I feel like I know you (as much as a person can "know" someone on the Internet) and think of you as a friend. You mean a lot to our community, and I am sincerely glad that you are comfortable sharing such a personal part of your life with us.

As for your moms death.....it sucks man. We all suffer the deaths of loved ones from time to time, and it's never easy. I wish I could ease your pain, but I can't. Instead, I'll do the only thing I can. I'll share it with you.

Take care of yourself my friend.

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18-10-2012, 10:47 AM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Oh Chas, I'm so sorry your Mom wasn't able to completely be her self in her last days. After much the same experience with my Dad, I know your Mom probably had several instances of recognition, despite her condition. When she was cognitive, I'm sure she saw you and her family doing well. That was probably a great relief to her. I'm sure she would have thought it ridiculous to cling to a useless mind any more. Thank you for helping to take care of her. I know you are relieved that her ordeal is over and I'm sorry for your loss.

From your account of her life, she sounds as if she was quite accomplished and strong. Six kids!?! - that is a life in itself! Then to continue beyond some very daunting obstacles and achieve all she did... what an admirable life. It is no wonder her children are similarly accomplished - good fruit rarely falls too far from the tree. You are lucky to have known such a person.
***

You and the family will be exhausted for the next few months. No matter what kind of preparation you think you've done for this, you will run across something down the road that will simply sap your strength.

Make sure you eat well, exercise, and get plenty of sleep so you can concentrate on the weeks to come. Getting run down invites illness so stay healthy... and don't hesitate to hang out here; letting go is a relief.

Heart Take care.

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18-10-2012, 03:58 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
In an odd community such as this there is an unusual empathy. Sorry mate!
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18-10-2012, 04:55 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Sorry to hear that, Chas. My sincerest condolences.

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18-10-2012, 06:16 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
What a remarkable woman! I'm so sorry for your family's loss, Chas. Maybe in time, one day you'd like to share with us more about who she was and how she helped you become "you." If and when you/your brothers think it might help you, many hospice agencies have individual or group bereavement sessions--some at no cost. Hugs to you...as many before me have said, we're here if you need an ear...

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19-10-2012, 06:31 AM
RE: My mother died last evening.
I am very sorry for you loss, Chas. Think of the old saying "She lives on in you". It is not just a stupid old line that people say and has no meaning. You mentioned how much she taught you and how much she meant to you and your siblings. You are who you are because of her and this is how there is always a piece of her in you.
Try to not be alone too much right now, have some friends over to talk or just to have a beer in silence.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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19-10-2012, 06:47 AM
Thank you all ...
Thank you for the warmth and caring; I very much appreciate it. I have spent the last few days with two of my brothers and on the phone with the other sibs and extended family.

Here's a picture of my mother with all her children from shortly before she started her decline.
[Image: Beddoefamily1998small.jpg]

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-10-2012, 12:34 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Chas. I'm very sorry for your loss, but glad that you were able to be there with your mother at the end, and that you and your brothers and sisters are supporting each other. That makes all the difference in the world.

Your mother sounds like an extraordinary person. It must have been heartbreaking to see her decline. In my experience with my own mother's death, the more recent, sad memories initially dominated, which is only natural. But with time, they receded, and the older, happier memories that spoke to who she really was came to the fore. I wish the same for you.

Religious disputes are like arguments in a madhouse over which inmate really is Napoleon.
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19-10-2012, 12:51 PM
RE: My mother died last evening.
Sorry to hear. If ever you want to talk about it, just shoot me a PM. Heart

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