My own personal demon
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
26-01-2016, 08:55 PM
My own personal demon
Those of you that 'know' me know that I tend to avoid serious topics. Like everyone else, I guess, I have my secrets that work away at me from the inside. There is, in particular, one demon that has lived with me for a long time. Because of it, I lived much of my youth and young adulthood as two different people. I was able to bring these two lives together several years ago and become a whole person. Unfortunately, sometimes consequences of distant past events take years to come to fruition. Someone who was once very close to me died on Christmas Eve. Overdosed, most likely heroin. I didn't cause it. But past actions I had hoped to have put behind me contributed to the chain of events that led up to this event. I am not innocent. Only one other person knows the part I played, and they have been dead for a month now. Outwardly, I've tried to go on for the last month as though I am mostly unaffected. But this demon I thought I had caged and controlled is rampaging again. I wish I could share more details to clarify the situation. I don't even know why I am posting this.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like TurkeyBurner's post
26-01-2016, 09:00 PM
RE: My own personal demon
Hug I'm so sorry about your friend.

Whatever happened in your past, you are not responsible for your friend's overdose. It's a tragedy for sure, but not your fault, so put that out of your mind right now.

I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist because this is a lot to deal with for anyone. It can help you process things and help you if you feel that you may have fallen back into areas in your life you don't want to be in.

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like jennybee's post
26-01-2016, 09:17 PM
RE: My own personal demon
(26-01-2016 08:55 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Those of you that 'know' me know that I tend to avoid serious topics. Like everyone else, I guess, I have my secrets that work away at me from the inside. There is, in particular, one demon that has lived with me for a long time. Because of it, I lived much of my youth and young adulthood as two different people. I was able to bring these two lives together several years ago and become a whole person. Unfortunately, sometimes consequences of distant past events take years to come to fruition. Someone who was once very close to me died on Christmas Eve. Overdosed, most likely heroin. I didn't cause it. But past actions I had hoped to have put behind me contributed to the chain of events that led up to this event. I am not innocent. Only one other person knows the part I played, and they have been dead for a month now. Outwardly, I've tried to go on for the last month as though I am mostly unaffected. But this demon I thought I had caged and controlled is rampaging again. I wish I could share more details to clarify the situation. I don't even know why I am posting this.


Hi mate.
Being a musician, I was surrounded by drugs for many years. Lost too many friends who either OD'd or drank themselves into a stupor.

I know how it hurts. I've lost seven drummer friends to suicide over the course of my career.

Man, I decided I just had to get through it. There is no way to escape life's troubles other than death. And what is the point of that?

Stay strong my friend. If you need to talk to a friend or someone close, do so. I too am home a lot and if requested will share my skype with you. We can discuss surviving and dealing with adversity and ways to help get through it.

I am at your disposal.

Cheers. D.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Banjo's post
26-01-2016, 09:19 PM
RE: My own personal demon
I'm here too if you need to talk. Pm me whenever Hug
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like jennybee's post
26-01-2016, 09:49 PM
RE: My own personal demon
The only advice I can give is to seek counseling. No matter how alone you feel, there are likely others that have experienced similar issues. The professionals can also give you the tools to help you better deal with your problems.

Vibes!

Help for the living. Hope for the dead. ~ R.G. Ingersoll

Freedom offers opportunity. Opportunity confers responsibility. Responsibility to use the freedom we enjoy wisely, honestly and humanely. ~ Noam Chomsky
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Fatbaldhobbit's post
27-01-2016, 01:51 AM
RE: My own personal demon
At the end of the day, a person's choices are their own. I understand feeling guilty over the impact you may have had on that person's life, and thus his choices, but at the end of the same day it wasn't you who made the decision.

If you want takeaway from this, I'd say that we should all be more mindful of how our interactions affect others. But -- "I'm the one who's got to die / when it's time for me to die / so let me live my life / the way I want to."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
27-01-2016, 01:58 AM
RE: My own personal demon
I'm so sorry dude. Though I also think you need to tackle it actively. Since you don't feel like laying it all out there (and there's nothing wrong with that) then perhaps you have one person, either here or in real life, that you feel safe at confiding in.

*Big bro-hug*
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Nishi Karano Kaze's post
29-01-2016, 10:26 PM
RE: My own personal demon
Wow that's really tough, I know how it feels to feel like you played a certain part in someone's demise, but the truth is it's not your fault. Your friend's overdose isn't your fault even though it may feel like a chain of events led them to that. I would suggest getting some counseling to help you get past this, sometimes you need someone else's opinion who is looking from the outside to help you realize something. I hope everything gets better!Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like xastrogasmx's post
29-01-2016, 10:31 PM
RE: My own personal demon
(26-01-2016 08:55 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Outwardly, I've tried to go on for the last month as though I am mostly unaffected. But this demon I thought I had caged and controlled is rampaging again. I wish I could share more details to clarify the situation. I don't even know why I am posting this.

It's a side effect of having tiny nipples. You'll be okay.




There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes GirlyMan's post
30-01-2016, 10:47 AM
RE: My own personal demon
you posted it because even a partial share is better than holding it all. Secrets are hard on the holder.
I posted some revealed secrets about my own father that were harmful to the holders, literally the rest of my family.
Find somebody you can lay it all out to.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like skyking's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: