My poor choice of words.
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24-08-2013, 07:45 PM
My poor choice of words.
I think I offended a family member earlier. I expressed that I did not want to live until I was old, and I guess due to my poor wording, they completely took it the wrong way. But I don't blame them. My family should be given an award for "Most Interruptions" in any conversation. I wasn't really able to put in a proper, even decent explanation.

What I meant though was that I do not want to live until the point whereas someone has to take care of me. I'll take care of my mother when she is old, there is no doubt about that. But when I am old, I don't want that for myself. I want to be able to take care of myself, and when I can't, I don't want to live anymore. And I don't mean that to come off as suicidal sounding at all. Drooling, forgetting, being unable to care for myself because my health has almost completely faded away due to age is the equivalent to suffering to me, not necessarily for others. I wouldn't want to live at that point. At that point, I will have lived my life to the extent I allowed it.
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24-08-2013, 08:02 PM
RE: My poor choice of words.
You can't force others to listen or understand, it's up to them to try to. I can understand what you mean, but I don't think you got that far with them. Maybe they need to know you don't feel listened to and that you would like to complete your point of view. Some people get so wrapped up in what they are thinking and feeling that they don't realize they've missed the whole point. We all do this from time to time.

This reminds me that I am trying to be more patient and to listen to people completely. Always a work in progress, our brains try to multi task.
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24-08-2013, 08:09 PM
RE: My poor choice of words.
(24-08-2013 08:02 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  You can't force others to listen or understand, it's up to them to try to. I can understand what you mean, but I don't think you got that far with them. Maybe they need to know you don't feel listened to and that you would like to complete your point of view. Some people get so wrapped up in what they are thinking and feeling that they don't realize they've missed the whole point. We all do this from time to time.

This reminds me that I am trying to be more patient and to listen to people completely. Always a work in progress, our brains try to multi task.

My family's also very fire-and-brimstone-taught Christian, so I can believe my family member started to think that because I'm suicidal (or that he misunderstood and thought I was) that I'm going to kill myself in the future and go to hell because of it.

It was almost impossible to get any other word in at that point, so I didn't really try. But maybe if I'm ever given another opportunity, or if the topic is ever directly approached again, I'll try explaining it differently.
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26-08-2013, 11:12 PM
RE: My poor choice of words.
This is something I connect with. I've never mentioned it around my family before, so a bad reaction doesn't occur, but I agree with you. The idea of living till I'm unable to do the things I want, or hell, even know what I want to do, it so utterly unappealing I'm not sure I can put it in words.

(though, I guess, different to you, I know myself to be suicidal at times, so that may or may not be that side of me talking)
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27-08-2013, 05:07 AM
RE: My poor choice of words.
(26-08-2013 11:12 PM)AddyCat Wrote:  This is something I connect with. I've never mentioned it around my family before, so a bad reaction doesn't occur, but I agree with you. The idea of living till I'm unable to do the things I want, or hell, even know what I want to do, it so utterly unappealing I'm not sure I can put it in words.

(though, I guess, different to you, I know myself to be suicidal at times, so that may or may not be that side of me talking)

I don't think of myself as necessarily suicidal. But we all think about death, and it's inevitable that we have. I want to exit my life in my own time and in my own way; not when I'm more withered away and miserable.
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