My relationship
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12-01-2017, 01:34 AM
My relationship
I have a long distance relationship with someone online. I won't mention names, or anything identifying like that.

This person has dated me for four months now. Shortly after we started dating I prohibited them from dating other people, flirting or sexting with them whether in public or in private. Recently they gave me their facebook account, I made them because I had found out some compromising information about them from one of their other online ex boyfriends. It turns out she lied to me about everything. Details about her personal life and past relationships, she sexted with other guys who sent her dick pics, and openly flirted with her and she did the same right back, she even sent them nudes she never sent me and even some that I had thought she took only for me. She lied about me to a whole community of people and to the staff there and got me banned from it. I read her conversations with other people about me. She openly laughed about me and plotted against me. She made everyone believe I was stalking her and not leaving her alone, all the while she texted me daily, for four months, constantly. She says she loves me and that I'm the only real person in her life, yet she doesn't want to be openly public with me in the communities that she frequents.

How do I deal with this? I love her and I want her but she is very emotionally fragile and she is using me, lying to me constantly... I mean maybe she started changing now, but my experience is she keeps lying to me until and unless I confront her with undeniable evidence of her wrongdoings and counteract her bullshit arguments about them. She even said stuff like she doesn't even know when she lies or not.

This is not even the tip of the iceberg. It's a snowflake. There are literally hundreds of lies she told me that I never knew about before, only suspected in my gut. I'm still in shock.

After everything she did to me, I don't think it's fair that I can't openly write about her, without saying who she is. I care about the truth. I can't keep going down this road. I love you, but you are destroying both of us.

Thank you for listening. Rant over.
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12-01-2017, 01:36 AM
RE: My relationship
You don't deal with it, you kick her ass out the front door. Sounds harsh but it's the best option, there is no happy ending with a person like that. May be hard in the beginning but you will be happier in the end.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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12-01-2017, 01:39 AM
RE: My relationship
She is depressive, I can't do that. Besides, I don't want to. I just want her to change and to stop doing this. To be public with me with her friends. To openly face up to what she did and tell everyone the truth.

That's all I want from her.
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12-01-2017, 01:58 AM
RE: My relationship
(12-01-2017 01:39 AM)excitedpenguin Wrote:  She is depressive, I can't do that. Besides, I don't want to. I just want her to change and to stop doing this. To be public with me with her friends. To openly face up to what she did and tell everyone the truth.

That's all I want from her.

Take it from experience, people like that do not change, it's just going to lead to more incidents like this.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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12-01-2017, 02:04 AM
RE: My relationship
I believe she can change. I choose to believe that. What she did is bad, but it's not irreversible. All she has to do now is listen to me if she really loves me and wants me. If not, I will make sure more people come forward about her, her ex in particular.

This is the arena she chose. Only she lied and distorted facts. She did this behind my back and kept up a web of lies over everyone's minds.

She needs to change her ways and accept that what she did is wrong. It's not the end of the world if you told lies about a romantic relationship you have. But when you change my life to this extent, this is my business to talk about what happened. You are my fiance, we have a future together, you want me to be a part of your family. So you need to do this and change. No matter how hard it is. I believe in you. And I believe you love me. I love you too.
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12-01-2017, 02:07 AM
RE: My relationship
Seems you have your mind set on this and I can't force anything so just be careful. You deserve a lot better and I hope you can get it.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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12-01-2017, 02:28 AM
RE: My relationship
I will be careful. Not sure what you mean. I can take what she did just fine, all I'm worried about now is her. I don't know how she'll react to this. She has very troubling thoughts and I hope she can take this in stride. I need her to.

And if she does do this and chooses to tell the truth, I will be by her side. I won't let anyone be overly mean to her. And I will help her face everyone and everything.

The truth is important. She has to do this now. It's up to her.

I will be back in a few hours if everything goes well, saying so. If not, then I failed her and me, but I don't think I had an option here. This was not going to end any better the way it was going. I think I did the right thing.

And I hope you see this.
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12-01-2017, 02:36 AM
RE: My relationship
Because this is Personal issues and support, there is only one way I can respond to this. I hope it's enough.

Blink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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12-01-2017, 02:46 AM
RE: My relationship
Um, Banjo. I don't think anyone will get in trouble for replying negatively to what I said if I don't mind it. And I officially don't and won't change my mind about that. This is my thread. The rule there is to protect the authors of their own posts here from critique or anything bad. But this is my thread and I welcome any kind of feedback on this. So if you have more to say Banjo, you or anyone else, do so, please. The facts are on my side here. No one will ever be able to prove otherwise. I'm not letting this happen again the way it did last time.

This person fucked up and they need to face it. And anyone who keeps protecting her and making assumptions is wrong and needs to be patient. That is my advice to them. Don't say things when you don't know the full picture. I have most of the picture, more than anyone else. She has the whole of it. Now to see what she decides. But this is my relationship and my life. People need to understand this. Thank you.
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12-01-2017, 02:47 AM
RE: My relationship
That's all I got. Sorry.

IHTH.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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