My sister is scared for my "soul"
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02-01-2015, 11:40 AM
My sister is scared for my "soul"
So, on New Years Day my family has dinner together. This year wasn't our biggest get together, but it was nice to see more of my family before I head back to university in the next few days. After dinner my mom and a few other people went to church for service. I spent about an hour with the rest of my family and it was nice. But this time it was different, considering its only the second time that I spent the holidays with my mostly christian family as an atheist. Christmas wasn't that hard because most of my family gets drunk, and if they start talking about god, it ends up being funny. This time I struggled to keep my real thoughts about church and god quiet Confused .

Most of my fear is about people asking me to go to church, or about when I'm going to get baptized. I don't want to lie and get their hopes up, but I also don't want to be real, and end up in a debate that will cause me to lose my family yet. The people who ask me those kinds of questions usually my mom, grandma, and all the rest of the baptized people in my life, which doesn't include my younger sister. But with my shitty luck, as it turns out the first person to ask me about when I would get baptized is her.

The discussion started out as a joke, because she was telling me about how my mom said that my brother is going to be her only child who will be baptized when he goes to university( which is probably not going to happen since he is only nine, and already has seeds of doubt about god, which is something I will encourage him to look into). As we were laughing she said she wasn't getting baptized until she was old and grey, and me, with my guard down said that I will never get baptized. The laughing stopped. She started questioning me about what I meant and in an moment of courage I said that there was no way I was going to get baptized in my life.

"But how will you get in heaven" she asked, and I could tell by the look on her face and she was scared at the thought that i wouldn't make it to "heaven". But I didn't let that stop me. I told her that when she gets baptized she would have to give up shellfish, make sure that she never wears clothes aren't different types of fabrics, and she shouldn't be against slavery because according to god slavery is okay. The look on her face was a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. Things were awkward
for a few moments and I could tell she was afraid of hearing more of what I had to say.

I know that I am not ready to come out as an atheist to my family, but I don't know how many of these confrontations I can handle before I burst
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02-01-2015, 11:48 AM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
(02-01-2015 11:40 AM)Raven the Canadian Wrote:  So, on New Years Day my family has dinner together. This year wasn't our biggest get together, but it was nice to see more of my family before I head back to university in the next few days. After dinner my mom and a few other people went to church for service. I spent about an hour with the rest of my family and it was nice. But this time it was different, considering its only the second time that I spent the holidays with my mostly christian family as an atheist. Christmas wasn't that hard because most of my family gets drunk, and if they start talking about god, it ends up being funny. This time I struggled to keep my real thoughts about church and god quiet Confused .

Most of my fear is about people asking me to go to church, or about when I'm going to get baptized. I don't want to lie and get their hopes up, but I also don't want to be real, and end up in a debate that will cause me to lose my family yet. The people who ask me those kinds of questions usually my mom, grandma, and all the rest of the baptized people in my life, which doesn't include my younger sister. But with my shitty luck, as it turns out the first person to ask me about when I would get baptized is her.

The discussion started out as a joke, because she was telling me about how my mom said that my brother is going to be her only child who will be baptized when he goes to university( which is probably not going to happen since he is only nine, and already has seeds of doubt about god, which is something I will encourage him to look into). As we were laughing she said she wasn't getting baptized until she was old and grey, and me, with my guard down said that I will never get baptized. The laughing stopped. She started questioning me about what I meant and in an moment of courage I said that there was no way I was going to get baptized in my life.

"But how will you get in heaven" she asked, and I could tell by the look on her face and she was scared at the thought that i wouldn't make it to "heaven". But I didn't let that stop me. I told her that when she gets baptized she would have to give up shellfish, make sure that she never wears clothes aren't different types of fabrics, and she shouldn't be against slavery because according to god slavery is okay. The look on her face was a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. Things were awkward
for a few moments and I could tell she was afraid of hearing more of what I had to say.

I know that I am not ready to come out as an atheist to my family, but I don't know how many of these confrontations I can handle before I burst

What soul?

So there's that.

Undecided

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were born this way.
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02-01-2015, 11:48 AM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
(02-01-2015 11:40 AM)Raven the Canadian Wrote:  So, on New Years Day my family has dinner together. This year wasn't our biggest get together, but it was nice to see more of my family before I head back to university in the next few days. After dinner my mom and a few other people went to church for service. I spent about an hour with the rest of my family and it was nice. But this time it was different, considering its only the second time that I spent the holidays with my mostly christian family as an atheist. Christmas wasn't that hard because most of my family gets drunk, and if they start talking about god, it ends up being funny. This time I struggled to keep my real thoughts about church and god quiet Confused .

Most of my fear is about people asking me to go to church, or about when I'm going to get baptized. I don't want to lie and get their hopes up, but I also don't want to be real, and end up in a debate that will cause me to lose my family yet. The people who ask me those kinds of questions usually my mom, grandma, and all the rest of the baptized people in my life, which doesn't include my younger sister. But with my shitty luck, as it turns out the first person to ask me about when I would get baptized is her.

The discussion started out as a joke, because she was telling me about how my mom said that my brother is going to be her only child who will be baptized when he goes to university( which is probably not going to happen since he is only nine, and already has seeds of doubt about god, which is something I will encourage him to look into). As we were laughing she said she wasn't getting baptized until she was old and grey, and me, with my guard down said that I will never get baptized. The laughing stopped. She started questioning me about what I meant and in an moment of courage I said that there was no way I was going to get baptized in my life.

"But how will you get in heaven" she asked, and I could tell by the look on her face and she was scared at the thought that i wouldn't make it to "heaven". But I didn't let that stop me. I told her that when she gets baptized she would have to give up shellfish, make sure that she never wears clothes aren't different types of fabrics, and she shouldn't be against slavery because according to god slavery is okay. The look on her face was a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. Things were awkward
for a few moments and I could tell she was afraid of hearing more of what I had to say.

I know that I am not ready to come out as an atheist to my family, but I don't know how many of these confrontations I can handle before I burst.

Just ask her if her god is a loving god, and would actually create someone for hell for "eons ad infinitum" just cuz of a little water. Ask her if her god would want someone to *say* something they didn't really believe, (or is her god a dumbish sort of god, and not know the difference ?) Tell her there's "baptism of desire", and "baptism of blood", and if she doesn't want to be baptized in blood, she can mind her own business. Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-01-2015, 11:55 AM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
In grade 7 I traded my "soul" for the opportunity to eat my friends first born child... On their 20th birthday. I hadn't spoken to them since highschool. About 2 months ago, their first was born, and I congratulated them with a picture of me wearing a bib and checking my watch.

Best nonexistent soul I ever spent.
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02-01-2015, 12:00 PM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
I'm not sure what, if any advice I could offer you because I do not know you or your family situation that well. But I feel for you.

My personal view on this is to look at what the outcomes could be, decide on which you can live with and which you can't, and then choose accordingly.

Question: would your family likely cut you off?

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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02-01-2015, 01:04 PM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
Unsure Am I the only one thinking that you just outed yourself, you just didnt say the "a" word.


my advice is that you started down that path, stick with it, be gentle- not provacative until you have your mom one on one and in a mood that she can calmly discuss, maybe in a week or so.

From your post I get the feeling your sister is atheist too, she is just too chicken to say so, she was trying to throw you out front and center to get the wrath of mom so she could just ride the atheist bus on your coat tails.
but maybe I'm reading more into that than I should. you decide.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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02-01-2015, 03:07 PM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
Tell her that her worry and stress are damaging her aura and draining her qi.
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05-01-2015, 11:48 AM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
(02-01-2015 11:40 AM)Raven the Canadian Wrote:  I know that I am not ready to come out as an atheist to my family, but I don't know how many of these confrontations I can handle before I burst

I agree with Bows and Arrows here. You kind of DID out yourself. The best thing from my experience for you to do is to arm yourself with knowledge and to know the arguments they are probably going to lob at you so you are prepared for the inevitable discussion (there are tons of videos on youtube). You would have had to face this at some point and it is now out there so all you can really do is be ready for when it happens. It is always hard to be the first one. Also, like Bows, said don't be like this guy....

[Image: th?id=HN.608037889149241131&pid=...mp;amp;P=0]

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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12-01-2015, 04:14 PM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
I love that Epicurus quote! One of my fav's to get you thinking. I have a bit of the same problem as Raven. My brother is worrying about me too. Not because he knows I'm an atheist but simply because of something I posted on Facebook and something my daughter posted there as well. She believes in a sixth sense. My fault, I used to believe in all kinds of woo woo myself. She had posted on facebook that she'd gone and checked out this spiritulist church. Bunch of psychic types get together and do readings once in awhile in what was once a church. My baptist brother saw that and he voiced his concerns to me. I knew he was a believer but I didn't really know it was that deep. He emailed me a bunch of blah, blah which included biblical references.
Lately I posted something on facebook that I'd found about Dionysus. I thought it was interesting and never really looked to see from whence the info came. I should have. It was from a pagan and witches site. I got another message, this time on facebook, asking me why I'd posted something from a site like that. I was matter of fact with him and said, "I like history and thought it was interesting. Anyway Pagans are people too." Big Grin What's bugging me is that he's a smart and kind person but to say this stuff? Does he really believe in witches and letting evil in and all that mumbo jumbo? I just have a hard time believing that he's so "all in" as they say. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. One bunch of woo woo seems pretty interchangeable with the other woo woo.
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13-01-2015, 08:21 AM
RE: My sister is scared for my "soul"
(12-01-2015 04:14 PM)Whimsymum Wrote:  I love that Epicurus quote! One of my fav's to get you thinking. I have a bit of the same problem as Raven. My brother is worrying about me too. Not because he knows I'm an atheist but simply because of something I posted on Facebook and something my daughter posted there as well. She believes in a sixth sense. My fault, I used to believe in all kinds of woo woo myself. She had posted on facebook that she'd gone and checked out this spiritulist church. Bunch of psychic types get together and do readings once in awhile in what was once a church. My baptist brother saw that and he voiced his concerns to me. I knew he was a believer but I didn't really know it was that deep. He emailed me a bunch of blah, blah which included biblical references.
Lately I posted something on facebook that I'd found about Dionysus. I thought it was interesting and never really looked to see from whence the info came. I should have. It was from a pagan and witches site. I got another message, this time on facebook, asking me why I'd posted something from a site like that. I was matter of fact with him and said, "I like history and thought it was interesting. Anyway Pagans are people too." Big Grin What's bugging me is that he's a smart and kind person but to say this stuff? Does he really believe in witches and letting evil in and all that mumbo jumbo? I just have a hard time believing that he's so "all in" as they say. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. One bunch of woo woo seems pretty interchangeable with the other woo woo.

"Smart" has nothing to do with it. I know people that I consider smart that actually believe in the tales of magic when they would scoff and laugh if a muslim or hindu mentioned some miraculous event. They are clueless to the irony that they call others' magical tales silly but THEIR magical tales are real. That is how far the washing can go. How else do you account for people to pick apart everything about their lives and yet still take an account like the bible as fact and not apply the same level of scrutiny to it? My sister, wife, and mother have all expressed fear for my soul that doesn't exist. My sister cried once and it took all my effort to not laugh. My wife on the other hand is more scared because she "doesn't know". I am sure she has done some gymnastics to try to come to terms with it, she has not actually ever answered the question when it came up in the past.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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