My son
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
15-09-2017, 03:08 PM
My son
I think it's time that I opened up about this to anyone who is willing to listen.

In 1998 our second child was born, a beautiful little baby girl. we were thrilled to bits with her, I remember her birth like it was yesterday, my wife really suffered in labour with our first, but her birth went swimmingly (pool birth)

Anyway.. Everything was well with her until she reached school age, maybe 4 or 5, we noticed how unhappy she seemed (compared to her brother) she was also very difficult to please and went up like a bottle of pop over the slightest thing. She wasn't girly at all, would not conform to the norms, we used to tell people that she's just a tomboy, it's a phase, she will grow out of it. By the time she started highschool at the age of 12, I had real worries about her mental health.

To cut a very long story short, she only managed 2 years of highschool due to factors that I can understand now but didn't at the time We ended up home educating her and she actually did really well in her exams.

I should explain that we also have 2 other younger children, one girl 12 and one boy 9.

Four years ago when she was around 15 years old she dropped the bombshell that she didn't feel female and needed to live the rest of her life as a male.
I won't lie me and my wife were absolutely devastated and could not believe it, at first I just dismissed it and told her not to be silly and that she was just stressed (she had been treated for depression) but it soon became apparent to us that this was real, this was going to happen.

I suppose I'm writing this just to try and give a parents perspective to people on this issue, I actually feel really guilty about how dismissive I have been at times, I definitely added to the pain for her and I am not proud of myself for the way I handled certain situations. It's taken me and my wife a couple of years to come to terms with this, but we have come to terms with this.

She has started the transitional process and see's a consultant next month about surgery options, she has changed her name also.

To be honest she is the happiest that I have ever seen her, I just wish that we had handled things differently earlier but we only ever had her best interests at heart.

The two younger ones are confused, but children are adaptable and in time I hope they get over loss of their sister and embrace their brother.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 14 users Like Thedemonbarber's post
15-09-2017, 03:15 PM
RE: My son
I think the idea that a daughter is being lost and a son gained is weird. It's one and the same person. Nothing is lost. Nothing is gained. Unless one thinks it so.

I wish the kid good luck.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Banjo's post
15-09-2017, 03:24 PM
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:15 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I think the idea that a daughter is being lost and a son gained is weird. It's one and the same person. Nothing is lost. Nothing is gained. Unless one thinks it so.

I wish the kid good luck.

Many years of memories of having a daughter/sister don't just go away. Thank's for wishing him good luck though Banjo.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Thedemonbarber's post
15-09-2017, 03:31 PM
RE: My son
I hope things continue to go well with the transition, and it's great that you've accepted the situation. I'm sure your support is going to mean a lot to your son as he continues through the process.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes julep's post
15-09-2017, 03:33 PM
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:31 PM)julep Wrote:  I hope things continue to go well with the transition, and it's great that you've accepted the situation. I'm sure your support is going to mean a lot to your son as he continues through the process.

Thankyou Heart

Get your own bleeding hymn book
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2017, 03:34 PM
RE: My son
Your kids will work it out. It's quite possible they already 'knew' on some level. Let them work it out amongst themselves.

The most important thing you said is that your child is happier than they have ever been...that's all that needs to be said/known.

I hope that things go well with the transition...your family just needs to figure out how to deal with outward appearances - that's the same person inside - just more content.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
15-09-2017, 03:37 PM
RE: My son
I'm so glad your son is happy now and living his truth. And it's great that he has your support.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
15-09-2017, 03:41 PM
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:34 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Your kids will work it out. It's quite possible they already 'knew' on some level. Let them work it out amongst themselves.

The most important thing you said is that your child is happier than they have ever been...that's all that needs to be said/known.

I hope that things go well with the transition...your family just needs to figure out how to deal with outward appearances - that's the same person inside - just more content.

I just fear for my 12 year old girl, she just started highschool and all her friends knew her sister, I worry her friends may start to drift away once the friends parents find out.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-09-2017, 03:46 PM
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:41 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  
(15-09-2017 03:34 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Your kids will work it out. It's quite possible they already 'knew' on some level. Let them work it out amongst themselves.

The most important thing you said is that your child is happier than they have ever been...that's all that needs to be said/known.

I hope that things go well with the transition...your family just needs to figure out how to deal with outward appearances - that's the same person inside - just more content.

I just fear for my 12 year old girl, she just started highschool and all her friends knew her sister, I worry her friends may start to drift away once the friends parents find out.

Then they weren't friends in the first place. Some may struggle a bit but over time it's really not going to matter to those who matter the most.

My younger siblings' friendships had nothing to do with me. I think you are buying trouble and it will spill over to your younger kids if you don't come to terms with this.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
15-09-2017, 03:50 PM
RE: My son
I think it's well that you're looking at your own behavior with a critical eye -- not because you need to beat yourself up, but because it tells me that you want to provide true loving support, and that definitely means being thoughtful.

I wish your family the best.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: