My son
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26-09-2017, 12:49 AM (This post was last modified: 26-09-2017 12:59 AM by GirlyMan.)
RE: My son
(22-09-2017 07:20 AM)Leerob Wrote:  I don't think Girly wanted to tell you what to do. He just did some googling around and found something and I think it is a nice gesture to bring on what he found. ... What you just did with your suggestion (although probably well-meaning), or at least that is how I perceived it is to take your 10-20 minute google research above months of research and lots of medical appointments.

You misunderstand, I didn't just spend 10-20 minutes googling, I have been on testosterone replacement for over 15 years now since I went hypogonadal at 40, and when I talk about Winstrol and Arimidex and hCG and other anabolic steroids and androgenic support, I'm talking from personal experience, not 10-20 minutes of googling. I have an endo who knows everything I do, and while he can't technically approve because I'll try shit he's not even allowed to prescribe off-label, he knows I know how to read pubmed and I get labs every quarter. Not to diminish your months of research and lots of medical appointments, but I've been doing this a lot longer than you. That said, I don't know shit about breast surgery so I'll stop talking about that, but when it comes to androgens, yeah I know something about that.

#sigh
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26-09-2017, 02:50 AM
RE: My son
This is not a "hormone replacement competition" of who knows more and who has been on hormones for longer. While I don't know why you are on testosterone replacement, your medical history, and so on, every patient is different and has different needs. Also not every patient is willing to use medications that are un-prescribed and not approved by the doctor. Cool if it works for you though.

That aside, he is talking about his son and needs a place to vent is all. He didn't really ask for advice. Can we give that to him?

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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26-09-2017, 02:54 AM
RE: My son
Can I just say, no hard feelings here... I should learn when to keep my gob shut.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
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26-09-2017, 05:19 PM
RE: My son
(26-09-2017 02:54 AM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  Can I just say, no hard feelings here... I should learn when to keep my gob shut.

This was my bad, Sweeney Todd. I overstepped. I still maintain that your son should do as much of his own research as possible on androgens if he is about to experience them for the first time and should only trust his endo as far as he can throw him (a 300 lb endo is not a good sign that they know what they're doing, e.g.), but I shouldn't have pushed it. Mea culvert. Teach your boy to be a good man.

#sigh
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27-09-2017, 11:49 AM
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:08 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  I think it's time that I opened up about this to anyone who is willing to listen.

In 1998 our second child was born, a beautiful little baby girl. we were thrilled to bits with her, I remember her birth like it was yesterday, my wife really suffered in labour with our first, but her birth went swimmingly (pool birth)

Anyway.. Everything was well with her until she reached school age, maybe 4 or 5, we noticed how unhappy she seemed (compared to her brother) she was also very difficult to please and went up like a bottle of pop over the slightest thing. She wasn't girly at all, would not conform to the norms, we used to tell people that she's just a tomboy, it's a phase, she will grow out of it. By the time she started highschool at the age of 12, I had real worries about her mental health.

To cut a very long story short, she only managed 2 years of highschool due to factors that I can understand now but didn't at the time We ended up home educating her and she actually did really well in her exams.

I should explain that we also have 2 other younger children, one girl 12 and one boy 9.

Four years ago when she was around 15 years old she dropped the bombshell that she didn't feel female and needed to live the rest of her life as a male.
I won't lie me and my wife were absolutely devastated and could not believe it, at first I just dismissed it and told her not to be silly and that she was just stressed (she had been treated for depression) but it soon became apparent to us that this was real, this was going to happen.

I suppose I'm writing this just to try and give a parents perspective to people on this issue, I actually feel really guilty about how dismissive I have been at times, I definitely added to the pain for her and I am not proud of myself for the way I handled certain situations. It's taken me and my wife a couple of years to come to terms with this, but we have come to terms with this.

She has started the transitional process and see's a consultant next month about surgery options, she has changed her name also.

To be honest she is the happiest that I have ever seen her, I just wish that we had handled things differently earlier but we only ever had her best interests at heart.

The two younger ones are confused, but children are adaptable and in time I hope they get over loss of their sister and embrace their brother.

Good on you for accepting him. My dad reacted far worse than you after I transitioned. He's forced me out of his life and won't talk to me anymore. I don't know if that will ever change. He told me not to talk to him again, even on his death bed, unless I do so as a man and not a woman. But I'm 36 years old and I live in a different state, so he's not confronted in any way with my presence to remind him that I exist and show him that I'm so much happier.

I just got back from visiting my mom in Virginia (they are long divorced), and she accepts me and loves me. She even took me to get a manicure done and a hair cut! It was great! She still uses my dead name sometimes, and male pronouns, but she doesn't mean to. It's a long habit for her. I've been transitioning for 3 years, now, and she doesn't see me often. My little sister corrects her all the time, though. Smile

My wife reacted "poorly" at first, too, and feels much the same as you in terms of not being proud of her initial reaction. It took 3 years after I first came out to her before she could really try to accept it and stay with me and I decided to transition. I needed that time, myself, to really come to grips with it myself. That was, obviously, about 6 years ago. And I get it, from both her perspective and yours. It's one of those things that kind of flips your world upside down.

Anyway- cheers to you and your family for being supportive, and best wishes to your son. Smile
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18-10-2017, 05:28 PM
RE: My son
Well we have been down to London twice this week, we saw the endo on Saturday, and then we met the surgeon on Tuesday, my son is really nervous, we feel really bad that he's having to go through all this just to feel comfortable, it's not right.

I really really really hope that after this surgery he can feel comfortable, and that we all (as a family) can have things to look forward to in the future.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
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18-10-2017, 06:31 PM
RE: My son
(18-10-2017 05:28 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  Well we have been down to London twice this week, we saw the endo on Saturday, and then we met the surgeon on Tuesday, my son is really nervous, we feel really bad that he's having to go through all this just to feel comfortable, it's not right.

I really really really hope that after this surgery he can feel comfortable, and that we all (as a family) can have things to look forward to in the future.

I hope everything goes well for him and your family. Hug
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19-10-2017, 07:57 AM
RE: My son
It is so great that you are doing this with your son! What a lucky guy!!
My father doesn't even know unless somebody told him. My brother is indifferent. My other brother probably doesn't know. My mom is too far away but I know she'd be on my side for this.
So really glad for you and your son, that you can do this together.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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19-10-2017, 02:34 PM
RE: My son
(19-10-2017 07:57 AM)Leerob Wrote:  It is so great that you are doing this with your son! What a lucky guy!!
My father doesn't even know unless somebody told him. My brother is indifferent. My other brother probably doesn't know. My mom is too far away but I know she'd be on my side for this.
So really glad for you and your son, that you can do this together.

Thanks for the kind words.
Just 14 days to go until the operation and everything is in place. We are all going down for a couple of days to be there for him, I will leave him in his mums capable hands on the day of the surgery and I will concentrate on keeping the youngsters busy.
I'm hoping his brother can make it home for when we get back, but that's a bit up in the air at the moment.
Will keep you posted about how we get on.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
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19-10-2017, 03:24 PM
RE: My son
(19-10-2017 02:34 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  
(19-10-2017 07:57 AM)Leerob Wrote:  It is so great that you are doing this with your son! What a lucky guy!!
My father doesn't even know unless somebody told him. My brother is indifferent. My other brother probably doesn't know. My mom is too far away but I know she'd be on my side for this.
So really glad for you and your son, that you can do this together.

Thanks for the kind words.
Just 14 days to go until the operation and everything is in place. We are all going down for a couple of days to be there for him, I will leave him in his mums capable hands on the day of the surgery and I will concentrate on keeping the youngsters busy.
I'm hoping his brother can make it home for when we get back, but that's a bit up in the air at the moment.
Will keep you posted about how we get on.

Best wishes, buddy! I hope it all goes well. I'm so glad that he has such a supportive family to be there for him through his transition. So many of us do not.
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