My son
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19-10-2017, 04:14 PM (This post was last modified: 19-10-2017 04:19 PM by Free.)
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:08 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  I think it's time that I opened up about this to anyone who is willing to listen.

In 1998 our second child was born, a beautiful little baby girl. we were thrilled to bits with her, I remember her birth like it was yesterday, my wife really suffered in labour with our first, but her birth went swimmingly (pool birth)

Anyway.. Everything was well with her until she reached school age, maybe 4 or 5, we noticed how unhappy she seemed (compared to her brother) she was also very difficult to please and went up like a bottle of pop over the slightest thing. She wasn't girly at all, would not conform to the norms, we used to tell people that she's just a tomboy, it's a phase, she will grow out of it. By the time she started highschool at the age of 12, I had real worries about her mental health.

To cut a very long story short, she only managed 2 years of highschool due to factors that I can understand now but didn't at the time We ended up home educating her and she actually did really well in her exams.

I should explain that we also have 2 other younger children, one girl 12 and one boy 9.

Four years ago when she was around 15 years old she dropped the bombshell that she didn't feel female and needed to live the rest of her life as a male.
I won't lie me and my wife were absolutely devastated and could not believe it, at first I just dismissed it and told her not to be silly and that she was just stressed (she had been treated for depression) but it soon became apparent to us that this was real, this was going to happen.

I suppose I'm writing this just to try and give a parents perspective to people on this issue, I actually feel really guilty about how dismissive I have been at times, I definitely added to the pain for her and I am not proud of myself for the way I handled certain situations. It's taken me and my wife a couple of years to come to terms with this, but we have come to terms with this.

She has started the transitional process and see's a consultant next month about surgery options, she has changed her name also.

To be honest she is the happiest that I have ever seen her, I just wish that we had handled things differently earlier but we only ever had her best interests at heart.

The two younger ones are confused, but children are adaptable and in time I hope they get over loss of their sister and embrace their brother.

My daughter dates a transgender who is now 19 years old. They live at my X's home together in Brisbane. What was once a girl is now a boy, and he seems very happy. My daughter loves him and has been dating him for over 2 years now.

I have no objections. The happiness is what is important.

Your new son will be happy, and you watch how the depression disappears if it hasn't already. He couldn't help that he was born with the wrong parts, but at least he did something about it to right that wrong. This is a gender correction, and it has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality.

I am betting any dolls you bought for him when he was small were either torn apart or ignored. He would rather have a soccer ball and a baseball glove. What I am trying to say is ... you always had a boy, it's just that he ended up being born with the wrong parts is all.

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22-10-2017, 01:31 PM (This post was last modified: 22-10-2017 01:44 PM by beeglez.)
RE: My son
(15-09-2017 03:46 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(15-09-2017 03:41 PM)Thedemonbarber Wrote:  I just fear for my 12 year old girl, she just started highschool and all her friends knew her sister, I worry her friends may start to drift away once the friends parents find out.

Then they weren't friends in the first place.


Easy to say, but for most 12 year olds, it DOES matter, ane matters a lot. The concerns are valid, and neeed to be dealt with on a much deeper level than "well, they weren't your real friends " The whole family needs support, not just the son who is transitioning. I lost most of my elementary school friends when cliques formed in middle school and I didn't fit in to any of them. My well meaning parents said they were never my real friends. Know how much they helped 11 -13 year old me? Exactly fucking not at all.

I applaud the OP for sharing and for supporting their son. If you are in an area that has a PFLAG chapter, I would suggest attending a meeting and asking for resources for the whole family. Best of luck to all of you.
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03-11-2017, 03:48 PM
RE: My son
Just a quick update.
We are all back home after the operation, it all went well with no complications. He is in a lot of pain but even so he has said he feels more comfortable already, I'm so proud of him, he has been so brave, and not just over the last couple of days.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
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03-11-2017, 05:20 PM
RE: My son
Great. Congratulations to your son! He must feel great, other than the pain of course.

Darth Vader
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