My theist wife
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20-03-2015, 09:11 PM
RE: My theist wife
I never been in a relationship before, so I can't comment on the love part. But in my opinion, if she has threatened you with divorce not once, but twice..then she probably already has doubts about your marriage. Oh the problems religion causes. I'll probably be single for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that. Wish you the best of luck! I mean, you gotta do what makes you happy.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.
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27-03-2015, 10:54 AM
RE: My theist wife
(17-03-2015 11:20 PM)azumirm Wrote:  She insists that church is helping us and that if I continue to question her faith then she will request a divorce.

The real problem isn't that she is religious but that she doesn't seem to know much about what the Bible teaches. Her response is violating two Biblical commands. Perhaps it would help for you to point these out to here.

The Bible says that a Christian who is married to a nonChristian is forbidden to divorce him.

Quote:To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
(1 Corinthians 7:12-13 ESV)

It also says that a wife must submit to her husband.

Quote:Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
(1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV)

If she is a Christian she must be willing to do what the Bible says.

Quote:When her cousin passed away recently she spent over 3000$ on a psychic in Ehime (matsuyama) japan to try and communicate with him and at that time threatened me too with divorce if I didn't understand.

Here is another area where she is disobeying the Bible. You should encourage her to read this:

http://www.gotquestions.org/psychics-Christian.html

The information in ancient libraries came from real minds of real people. The far more complex information in cells came from the far more intelligent mind of God.
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27-03-2015, 11:01 AM
RE: My theist wife
Tell her you have just embraced scientology, and need to spend every dime you have on attending sessions to free yourself of your inner thetan...when she naturally balks and says that is nonsense...say...exactly...her understanding why she disbelieves one religion may open a tiny window in her understanding of why you disbelieve hers. It is possible to be of differing views and have a healthy relationship, but it usually means the subject is taboo, you both respect each other enough to understand you can't come to an agreement on that issue, thus you don't throw it in each other's face, and avoid it if possible.

I feel for you, truly do. I thank my lucky stars my wife is as adamant of an atheist as I am. You are living in a prison constructed by your wife unfortunately. "Condone my flittering away of our precious assets on absolute BS or you can just leave" is not a loving respectful relationship.

Life is too short to be miserable, remember that...

Best of luck, the road will not be easy, whichever way you travel, but a self imposed intellectual and emotional prison isn't living .

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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28-03-2015, 08:35 AM
RE: My theist wife
ask her if you can have a civil discourse about your differing opinions. you have a partnership, and you have a right to a say in where your assets are spent. tell her you will respect her beliefs but she must be willing to also respect your beliefs and you both must be willing to discuss your joint finances with mutual love, empathy and compromise. She feels intensely adamant about her faith. that's okay. the way she expressed it, not okay.

threat of divorce is not a tactic that is to be tolerated. it's threatening, controlling, undermines true communication/partnership and hugely disrespectful. a true loving spouse would never use these words unless they were seriously ready to serve papers. i hate dramatic, manipulative, selfish language.
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28-03-2015, 02:36 PM
RE: My theist wife
(17-03-2015 11:20 PM)azumirm Wrote:  My situation is perhaps unique:
My wife is a protestant theist and I am an atheist. I am British and she is Japanese. We live in a country where Christians only make up 1% of the population. Did I strike it unlucky? no. When she isn't talking about her God then she is the only person on the planet for me. But when she brings up her god (and I won't say I don't bring it up either) we become worst enemies.
I question her belief and often say that her God doesn't exist so "why should I care" but then she spends money we don't have on train tickets in order for her to go and pray with a load of other delusional people.
We are tight on money right now and even $8 (800yen - her train ticket to and from church) is important to us so I am trying to persuade her not to attend church for the sake of something that will actually help our lives. She insists that church is helping us and that if I continue to question her faith then she will request a divorce. I don't want to lose her so what choices do I have? Just watch as 8$ a day goes on train tickets to a prayer event that will result in nothing at all? Do I try to convince her that no God exists?
When her cousin passed away recently she spent over 3000$ on a psychic in Ehime (matsuyama) japan to try and communicate with him and at that time threatened me too with divorce if I didn't understand.
I love my wife but I hate religious people and my wife is religious.
I feel like im trapped and in a cage here.

She threatens you with divorce if you resist her theist leanings? Sorry to say this but I think she loves her god more than you, dude. Time to pack up and take that hit to the heart. Call her bluff. If she does divorce you its proof that you don't rate and have been wrong about her as a match for you. Do it and get past the trouble.
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28-03-2015, 09:58 PM
RE: My theist wife
(27-03-2015 10:54 AM)theophilus Wrote:  
(17-03-2015 11:20 PM)azumirm Wrote:  She insists that church is helping us and that if I continue to question her faith then she will request a divorce.

The real problem isn't that she is religious but that she doesn't seem to know much about what the Bible teaches. Her response is violating two Biblical commands. Perhaps it would help for you to point these out to here.

The Bible says that a Christian who is married to a nonChristian is forbidden to divorce him.

Quote:To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
(1 Corinthians 7:12-13 ESV)

It also says that a wife must submit to her husband.

Quote:Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
(1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV)

If she is a Christian she must be willing to do what the Bible says.

Quote:When her cousin passed away recently she spent over 3000$ on a psychic in Ehime (matsuyama) japan to try and communicate with him and at that time threatened me too with divorce if I didn't understand.

Here is another area where she is disobeying the Bible. You should encourage her to read this:

http://www.gotquestions.org/psychics-Christian.html

So a book that says women are weak 7 verses later should be used to try to keep her? The problem as I see it is that the damn bible tells people (especially women) that they are weak and powerless. Nice way to provide someone with some self worth is to use some good ole fashioned biblical mysogyny. How any sane woman who claims to have read the bible and yet defends this damn book is beyond me.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-03-2015, 03:22 PM
RE: My theist wife
(28-03-2015 09:58 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  So a book that says women are weak 7 verses later should be used to try to keep her?

If she is a Christian she already believes the Bible is true. If she would actually follow what is says it would help the situation.

The information in ancient libraries came from real minds of real people. The far more complex information in cells came from the far more intelligent mind of God.
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29-03-2015, 03:30 PM
RE: My theist wife
Never helped you, Theo.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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29-03-2015, 04:38 PM
RE: My theist wife
(29-03-2015 03:22 PM)theophilus Wrote:  
(28-03-2015 09:58 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  So a book that says women are weak 7 verses later should be used to try to keep her?

If she is a Christian she already believes the Bible is true. If she would actually follow what is says it would help the situation.


Nope. Many Christians believe the Bible is metaphorical and that the OT doesn't really apply any more.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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30-03-2015, 11:23 AM
RE: My theist wife
(29-03-2015 03:22 PM)theophilus Wrote:  
(28-03-2015 09:58 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  So a book that says women are weak 7 verses later should be used to try to keep her?

If she is a Christian she already believes the Bible is true. If she would actually follow what is says it would help the situation.

If he truly wants to help her, he should build her up, not tell her she is inferior.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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