My transgender daughter.....
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15-07-2013, 11:10 AM
My transgender daughter.....
This story is still ongoing and changes from week to week, even from day to day.
Three years ago my son, who was 18 at the time, came to me, troubled, anxious, emaciated, full of heartache and confessed that he was transgender. We were at a burger place at the time. I guess he wanted to confess this in a neutral environment.

Through a series of talks over the next months he also confessed that he was hearing voices and then became extremely paranoid. Schizophrenia was the diagnosis. So my husband and I were looking at a transgender, schizophrenic daughter with so little hope we both went into a tailspin.

When something like this happens it's almost like being held up by gun point which ends on the six o'clock news. It's a "This is something that happens to other people, not to us." sort of a feeling. But somehow, in some way I always felt that time never stands still, that the world is in a constant state of flux and things can change. And they did. My now daughter was mis-diagnosed with the schizophrenia, it was severe depression that had psychotic expressions.

For those of you who might not know, being transgender isn't a choice. There seems to be some part of the brain that is gender specific and during gestation some of the signals and gender markers are not in alignment. It's very complex. The first week that she started taking female hormones she said she felt 100% better. It was as if the body felt in alignment with the brain for the first time in her life.

The last two years have been spent watching a slow, steady transformation of a son to a daughter. There are still ups and downs for her. I have helped her with clothing, hair and makeup. Her younger sister has helped as well. We all went out last night to a nice restaurant and I don't think anyone realized that she was anything other than a tall lovely girl.

Oh, what she has been through, what we have been through as a family is amazing and I just wanted to spill my heart out somewhere and, so....... here it is.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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15-07-2013, 11:24 AM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
*HUGE HUGS*

Thank you for sharing. It made my day reading this. *high fives a kickass mom*

Your daughter is such a brave and courageous individual. Your youngest is kickass, too.

Wow. Just wow. Big Grin Hug

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15-07-2013, 11:48 AM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
I'm glad she's feeling better! = ) Hope everything works out for her!

Bury me with my guns on, so when I reach the other side - I can show him what it feels like to die.
Bury me with my guns on, so when I'm cast out of the sky, I can shoot the devil right between the eyes.
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15-07-2013, 11:53 AM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Thank you for being a great mom and help your daughter! Great family Big Grin

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15-07-2013, 12:01 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Wow! Just awesome! You're all come through so much!
Hug


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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15-07-2013, 12:02 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
I know a couple of transgender people, but their families are not nearly as supportive as you are. It is good to hear that your daughter had people around her who were willing to help out. Too often do I hear stories about people who go through this kind of stuff alone. Two thumbs up. Smile

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15-07-2013, 12:19 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
How wonderful to hear that you were so supportive and that she is now a much happier person! It's not a tale you hear all that often. Clap

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-07-2013, 12:26 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Thank you - your bewilderment, strength, acceptance, and understanding shine through.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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15-07-2013, 12:58 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 12:02 PM)frankiej Wrote:  I know a couple of transgender people, but their families are not nearly as supportive as you are. It is good to hear that your daughter had people around her who were willing to help out. Too often do I hear stories about people who go through this kind of stuff alone. Two thumbs up. Smile

The suicide rate among transgender people is around 40% so the choice for a mom is bringing flowers to the grave site of a son or giving flowers to a living daughter for her birthday. I choose the birthdays.

I can't say that I didn't have my doubts in the beginning like many parents, that this was "just a phase" but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. As a child he was never a rough and tumble boy, didn't like sports, there was always something delicate about him. The hardest part isn't so much accepting him as girl, it's saying good by to a male child. And even though he was never really male to begin with, there is a very deep mourning process that accompanies the whole metamorphosis. Our son died but in his place is a daughter.

However difficult it was for my husband and I to accept her and however much it devastated us, we knew it was the right thing to do. Our daughter suffered for almost 18 years with this, I think we can go through some sort term pain as parents in support of new daughter. It's heartbreaking that so many families toss their children out of the house like so much garbage because they are gay or transgender or something else that they don't want to acknowledge. The streets of the world are filled with rejected kids.

Thank you for all your kind words. There have been more than a few people who don't speak to us anymore because of this. Fuck 'em.

Shakespeare Insult 13 – Henry IV Part 1
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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15-07-2013, 01:11 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 12:58 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Thank you for all your kind words. There have been more than a few people who don't speak to us anymore because of this. Fuck 'em.

Fuck 'em indeed.

I mean, sure, it kinda weirds me out a little, but a human being is a human being. Nothing changes that fact nor what it entails.

You've done a wonderful thing for someone else just by being who you are. It's let them be who they are.

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