My transgender daughter.....
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16-07-2013, 04:03 AM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 08:49 PM)amyb Wrote:  
Caveman Wrote:I believe that though we might be ABLE to, a line should be drawn. And that any man who thinks they are a woman (and vice versa) should be treated exactly the same way as someone who wants their arm amputated because they truly and utterly believe that it should not be there.
People don't just make the decision to transition on a whim. And they aren't going to force cisgendered people to transition against their will, so I don't really see why it's anyone else's concern. Why be against something that doesn't affect you, and makes the person in question feel better about themself and more comfortable in their own skin? Why are you the one who should be able to arbitrarily "draw the line" on what other people can do with their identity and body? I can understand transpeople, but I can't understand transphobia at all. And for people who surgically transition, there is usually a long period of psych evaluation as well as a long time spent living as the other gender to make sure it's really what they want.

I am not "the one to do so". I am not making decisions. I am voicing a different opinion.
I never said they did it on a whim. That would imply it is something as easy as choosing which shoes to wear today.
Why is it "someone else's concern"? Why is that on any social issue. From race-rights to gay-rights to gun-rights. There should be boundaries. On gun-rights: we allow fire-arms but not high-powered explosives. There are boundaries.

This is not a "phobia". This is a disapproval
I know about the period of evaluation as well. It doesn't change my point.

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17-07-2013, 11:50 AM (This post was last modified: 17-07-2013 11:58 AM by Hughsie.)
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 11:10 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  My now daughter was mis-diagnosed with the schizophrenia, it was severe depression that had psychotic expressions.

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17-07-2013, 11:56 AM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Koolay,
Perhaps you aren't yet aware that this is a support thread...there are specific guidelines for posting here.

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17-07-2013, 12:00 PM (This post was last modified: 17-07-2013 12:03 PM by Hughsie.)
RE: My transgender daughter.....
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17-07-2013, 12:03 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Koolay, this section prohibits any comments that may be considered insensitive. Please remember that when posting in here in future.

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17-07-2013, 12:04 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
Okay.

OP you are doing great keep it up!
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17-07-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 11:10 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  The first week that she started taking female hormones she said she felt 100% better. It was as if the body felt in alignment with the brain for the first time in her life.

And its in those moments you know when the right decision was made.

Heart to you
Heart to your daughter
Heart to the rest of your family as well.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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18-07-2013, 12:41 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(15-07-2013 11:10 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  This story is still ongoing and changes from week to week, even from day to day.
Three years ago my son, who was 18 at the time, came to me, troubled, anxious, emaciated, full of heartache and confessed that he was transgender. We were at a burger place at the time. I guess he wanted to confess this in a neutral environment.

Through a series of talks over the next months he also confessed that he was hearing voices and then became extremely paranoid. Schizophrenia was the diagnosis. So my husband and I were looking at a transgender, schizophrenic daughter with so little hope we both went into a tailspin.

When something like this happens it's almost like being held up by gun point which ends on the six o'clock news. It's a "This is something that happens to other people, not to us." sort of a feeling. But somehow, in some way I always felt that time never stands still, that the world is in a constant state of flux and things can change. And they did. My now daughter was mis-diagnosed with the schizophrenia, it was severe depression that had psychotic expressions.

For those of you who might not know, being transgender isn't a choice. There seems to be some part of the brain that is gender specific and during gestation some of the signals and gender markers are not in alignment. It's very complex. The first week that she started taking female hormones she said she felt 100% better. It was as if the body felt in alignment with the brain for the first time in her life.

The last two years have been spent watching a slow, steady transformation of a son to a daughter. There are still ups and downs for her. I have helped her with clothing, hair and makeup. Her younger sister has helped as well. We all went out last night to a nice restaurant and I don't think anyone realized that she was anything other than a tall lovely girl.

Oh, what she has been through, what we have been through as a family is amazing and I just wanted to spill my heart out somewhere and, so....... here it is.

We've spoken before, in the thread "Will Someone Please Talk to Me?"

Your daughter is very lucky to have parents such as you and your husband. Real parents. When I came out to my parents, they wrote me off, with comments of "I'll never accept you" and "You humiliate us". Mind you, I was 53 at the time, and these people had more time with the façade I had to maintain than you had with your daughter, but I cannot forgive them on that basis. The rest of my "family", those who urged me to come out to the Slimy Bastards, dropped me as soon as the Slimy Bastards did. It's been 21 months since any of them has said Word One to me.

I want to thank you for the way you are dealing with your daughter's issue. With your support, she has a full and beautiful life ahead of her.

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23-07-2013, 01:50 PM
RE: My transgender daughter.....
(18-07-2013 12:41 PM)dclarion Wrote:  
(15-07-2013 11:10 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  This story is still ongoing and changes from week to week, even from day to day.
Three years ago my son, who was 18 at the time, came to me, troubled, anxious, emaciated, full of heartache and confessed that he was transgender. We were at a burger place at the time. I guess he wanted to confess this in a neutral environment.

Through a series of talks over the next months he also confessed that he was hearing voices and then became extremely paranoid. Schizophrenia was the diagnosis. So my husband and I were looking at a transgender, schizophrenic daughter with so little hope we both went into a tailspin.

When something like this happens it's almost like being held up by gun point which ends on the six o'clock news. It's a "This is something that happens to other people, not to us." sort of a feeling. But somehow, in some way I always felt that time never stands still, that the world is in a constant state of flux and things can change. And they did. My now daughter was mis-diagnosed with the schizophrenia, it was severe depression that had psychotic expressions.

For those of you who might not know, being transgender isn't a choice. There seems to be some part of the brain that is gender specific and during gestation some of the signals and gender markers are not in alignment. It's very complex. The first week that she started taking female hormones she said she felt 100% better. It was as if the body felt in alignment with the brain for the first time in her life.

The last two years have been spent watching a slow, steady transformation of a son to a daughter. There are still ups and downs for her. I have helped her with clothing, hair and makeup. Her younger sister has helped as well. We all went out last night to a nice restaurant and I don't think anyone realized that she was anything other than a tall lovely girl.

Oh, what she has been through, what we have been through as a family is amazing and I just wanted to spill my heart out somewhere and, so....... here it is.

We've spoken before, in the thread "Will Someone Please Talk to Me?"

Your daughter is very lucky to have parents such as you and your husband. Real parents. When I came out to my parents, they wrote me off, with comments of "I'll never accept you" and "You humiliate us". Mind you, I was 53 at the time, and these people had more time with the façade I had to maintain than you had with your daughter, but I cannot forgive them on that basis. The rest of my "family", those who urged me to come out to the Slimy Bastards, dropped me as soon as the Slimy Bastards did. It's been 21 months since any of them has said Word One to me.

I want to thank you for the way you are dealing with your daughter's issue. With your support, she has a full and beautiful life ahead of her.

Thank you dclarion. I hope you find happiness and peace in your new life. You must have had a long struggle. Hopefully you will find support from new friends you might meet. It's harder to meet new people and make friends after a certain age but it can be done. It really can be done.

Take good care of yourself and thank you again. If you want to send me a private message any time, feel free.

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“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
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23-07-2013, 05:50 PM (This post was last modified: 23-07-2013 05:59 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: My transgender daughter.....







We really are all about our hormones. Katie's getting breasts from estrogen therapy and Arin's gonna get his muscles from testosterone therapy. Ain't technology something. Thumbsup

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