"My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
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08-12-2012, 04:26 PM
"My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
Went to the Lincoln Christmas Market today because, frankly it's amazing. It's like York saturday market times 100, but anyway.

Went along with my family who are, sadly, mormons. There was a couple of incidents with their stupidity, but the first and the funniest one was when we came across a group of Native American musicians who were playing flutes and drums and doing dances. After a minute or so of watching them my mother started loudly talking about how they are Lamanites and saying things like "They've come a long way since they were wiping out the original white Americans", and she carried on like this for about 5 minutes until the song ended and the younger of the two elder men went around the parameter of their stage area showing off their CDs and trying to sell to people. When he got around to my family my mother whipped out a fresh new Book of Mormon, still in its plastic cover and stopped the poor man, starting to explain about "the history of the Lamanites" and "if you want to know what your tribe was doing hundreds of years ago this is the book you should read"
The man nodded softly and listened to her, then when she'd finished talking about 'Lamanites' he said very calmly, "The scrawling of a racist redman killer and his fictional history of my 'evil' people doesn't sound like a good read to me. My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady. But, if you'd like to buy my CD..."
She didn't reply to this, she just stormed off down the road, she was then very angry at me because I bought his CD right away and told him it would be a good book to read to know your enemy at least. Now she's not talking to me or my father because he refused to take her side and of course I basically joined in when she got pwnd. xD
It really makes me feel good when people can defend themselves like that, but it perplexes me how someone could be so ignorant that they'd think someone would welcome a religion which lies about their history and claims they are all born evil.


There was another small incident later in the day at a fossil stall which was more embarrassing than funny.
My sister picked up a fossil and asked what is was. It was some sort of shell fish from about 200 million years ago, to which my sister replied in a very condescending tone, "But it's not 200 million years old is it? That's just what you say to sell it to people isn't it?". The man at the stall looked at her for a moment then said, "I have the authenticity certificates from the natural history museum, they come with any of the large fossils. I assure you none of these are reproductions. They're as old as they say they are."
My sister then said very loudly, "How can these be millions of years old when the earth has only been here for 7000 years?"
the man at the stall sighed loudly, shook his head and said, "if you're not going to buy anything would you please move away from the stall."

I apologized to the man for her as she went off to tell my mother, who thought it was brilliant and the fossil seller had "really been shown"

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08-12-2012, 04:30 PM (This post was last modified: 08-12-2012 04:35 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
(08-12-2012 04:26 PM)Cetaceaphile Wrote:  The man nodded softly and listened to her, then when she'd finished talking about 'Lamanites' he said very calmly, "The scrawling of a racist redman killer and his fictional history of my 'evil' people doesn't sound like a good read to me. My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady. But, if you'd like to buy my CD..."

just ... fucking ... brilliant. [Image: bravo-7466.gif]

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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08-12-2012, 04:45 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
(08-12-2012 04:26 PM)Cetaceaphile Wrote:  Went to the Lincoln Christmas Market today because, frankly it's amazing. It's like York saturday market times 100, but anyway.

Went along with my family who are, sadly, mormons. There was a couple of incidents with their stupidity, but the first and the funniest one was when we came across a group of Native American musicians who were playing flutes and drums and doing dances. After a minute or so of watching them my mother started loudly talking about how they are Lamanites and saying things like "They've come a long way since they were wiping out the original white Americans", and she carried on like this for about 5 minutes until the song ended and the younger of the two elder men went around the parameter of their stage area showing off their CDs and trying to sell to people. When he got around to my family my mother whipped out a fresh new Book of Mormon, still in its plastic cover and stopped the poor man, starting to explain about "the history of the Lamanites" and "if you want to know what your tribe was doing hundreds of years ago this is the book you should read"
The man nodded softly and listened to her, then when she'd finished talking about 'Lamanites' he said very calmly, "The scrawling of a racist redman killer and his fictional history of my 'evil' people doesn't sound like a good read to me. My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady. But, if you'd like to buy my CD..."
She didn't reply to this, she just stormed off down the road, she was then very angry at me because I bought his CD right away and told him it would be a good book to read to know your enemy at least. Now she's not talking to me or my father because he refused to take her side and of course I basically joined in when she got pwnd. xD
It really makes me feel good when people can defend themselves like that, but it perplexes me how someone could be so ignorant that they'd think someone would welcome a religion which lies about their history and claims they are all born evil.


There was another small incident later in the day at a fossil stall which was more embarrassing than funny.
My sister picked up a fossil and asked what is was. It was some sort of shell fish from about 200 million years ago, to which my sister replied in a very condescending tone, "But it's not 200 million years old is it? That's just what you say to sell it to people isn't it?". The man at the stall looked at her for a moment then said, "I have the authenticity certificates from the natural history museum, they come with any of the large fossils. I assure you none of these are reproductions. They're as old as they say they are."
My sister then said very loudly, "How can these be millions of years old when the earth has only been here for 7000 years?"
the man at the stall sighed loudly, shook his head and said, "if you're not going to buy anything would you please move away from the stall."

I apologized to the man for her as she went off to tell my mother, who thought it was brilliant and the fossil seller had "really been shown"
Sounds like you had a real fun day at the market.

What really stuck in my brain about the Mormons was reading about Joseph Smith and his gang massacring some wagon trains they didn't approve of. Thumbsup
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08-12-2012, 05:05 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
Boy, I don't know how you got through that, lol!

It's very amusing to read, but I have no idea how I would have handled these situations.

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08-12-2012, 05:07 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
I am hoping everyone around her was going:[Image: 682645.gif]
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08-12-2012, 05:09 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
Quote:"How can these be millions of years old when the earth has only been here for 7000 years?"
[Image: 913965.png&sa=X&ei=sMfDU...oJdSVldt4A]


But I agree with GirlyMan, the old man had an epic response. I most likely would have bought 4 copies without a second though....

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08-12-2012, 05:12 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
Here's a CD you can give her for Baby Jeebus' birthday.




Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein (That's a JOKE, ya idiot)
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08-12-2012, 05:34 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
Fun with the Fam! So your mother carries fresh books around to hand out? You should follow her around and hand out a fact pamphlet after, ha ha. (Kidding)
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08-12-2012, 06:20 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
A slight deviation to LJ's post: tuck a small paper in. A very small fact sheet that shouldn't be noticed.

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08-12-2012, 07:14 PM
RE: "My tribe is older than your bullshit, lady."
(08-12-2012 06:20 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  A slight deviation to LJ's post: tuck a small paper in. A very small fact sheet that shouldn't be noticed.

hehehehehehe, I'd just wrap the whole damn book in couple of sheets of toilet paper. .... hehehehehehehe ...

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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