My wife is going to get baptized.
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26-04-2015, 08:33 PM
My wife is going to get baptized.
I'll give you the facts in quick bullet points.

-I'm an atheist

-My wife started attending A very progressive christian church several months ago.

-She has decided she wants to be baptized by said church

-She did not grow up religious

-We've been together 8 years and she did not express religious beliefs for the first 7 years we were together.

-She works for a Christian company

-We have a 1 year old son

-We've discussed the topic of religion only a few times prior.

-She's been reading apologetics booked lately and is currently reading one by Lee Strobell.

-She has not read the bible.

My issue isn't so much with the actual baptism (although maybe it should be) but what it stands for and the fact that she hasn't read the bible makes me think she hasn't done her due diligence on the christian faith. My fear is that she will become more and more involved in the church and start passing these beliefs onto our son and more and more religious stuff will start creeping into our lives.

When she mentioned she was going to be baptized it was more as a statement not as a point of discussion. Our relationship is great and both of us generally keep our beliefs to ourselves. She suffered some pretty bad post partum depression and has been noticeably happier since attending church so maybe I shouldn't be complaining but there is still a nagging voice in the back of my head that shouts "How can an adult hear the story of Jesus and think it's true?! How?!"

So my question I guess is would you let this go because everything else is good? Should I try and talk her out of it? Am I being ridiculous posting this in the first place?

I realize my situation pales in comparison to what other atheists endure with their families but I'm struggling with how to proceed. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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26-04-2015, 09:27 PM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
You can't force people to be what you want. You can only accept them for what they are.
If she believes then she believes.
What you can do is give her her own bible to read.

If you push it, I can give really good odds it won't go well.

May you have the courage to change the things you can, the serenity to accept the things you can't and the wisdom to know the difference.
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26-04-2015, 09:29 PM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
Another thing you can do is read Strobel's book. But wait for her questions.

Don't push.
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26-04-2015, 09:41 PM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
Well I hope it was a good 8 years.
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26-04-2015, 10:02 PM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
(26-04-2015 08:33 PM)Rkane819 Wrote:  -She's been reading apologetics booked lately and is currently reading one by Lee Strobell.

Ewwwe. Stroebel is a REAL idiot. Tell her to read "The Case Against The Case For Christ". If she can fall for his garbage, you best think about moving on.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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26-04-2015, 11:11 PM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
(26-04-2015 08:33 PM)Rkane819 Wrote:  I'll give you the facts in quick bullet points.

-I'm an atheist

-My wife started attending A very progressive christian church several months ago.

-She has decided she wants to be baptized by said church

-She did not grow up religious

-We've been together 8 years and she did not express religious beliefs for the first 7 years we were together.

-She works for a Christian company

-We have a 1 year old son

-We've discussed the topic of religion only a few times prior.

-She's been reading apologetics booked lately and is currently reading one by Lee Strobell.

-She has not read the bible.

My issue isn't so much with the actual baptism (although maybe it should be) but what it stands for and the fact that she hasn't read the bible makes me think she hasn't done her due diligence on the christian faith. My fear is that she will become more and more involved in the church and start passing these beliefs onto our son and more and more religious stuff will start creeping into our lives.

When she mentioned she was going to be baptized it was more as a statement not as a point of discussion. Our relationship is great and both of us generally keep our beliefs to ourselves. She suffered some pretty bad post partum depression and has been noticeably happier since attending church so maybe I shouldn't be complaining but there is still a nagging voice in the back of my head that shouts "How can an adult hear the story of Jesus and think it's true?! How?!"

So my question I guess is would you let this go because everything else is good? Should I try and talk her out of it? Am I being ridiculous posting this in the first place?

I realize my situation pales in comparison to what other atheists endure with their families but I'm struggling with how to proceed. Any thoughts are appreciated.

She seems pretty set on doing this. I was EXTREMELY religious before becoming an atheist--so I can relate to where your wife is coming from. I also never read the entire Bible. Mostly because we only focused on the spoon fed New Testament passages from church and we were told the O.T. didn't matter anymore since Jesus came and changed all that. Once I finally read the whole bible--everything changed for me. I saw how ridiculous it was. Maybe you say that while you love and support her--you just ask that if she is set on doing this--that she at least read the Bible from cover to cover before she makes up her mind

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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27-04-2015, 12:14 AM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
I think telling her that you have misgivings about this whole deal is fair - you also gotta feel like you're honestly telling her your feelings. Moment when relationships go south in my experience is when one person starts feeling they have to mind what they say around the other.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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27-04-2015, 03:38 AM (This post was last modified: 27-04-2015 03:41 AM by Stevil.)
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
(26-04-2015 08:33 PM)Rkane819 Wrote:  So my question I guess is would you let this go because everything else is good? Should I try and talk her out of it? Am I being ridiculous posting this in the first place?

I realize my situation pales in comparison to what other atheists endure with their families but I'm struggling with how to proceed. Any thoughts are appreciated.
It's difficult isn't it. You can't control your wife, you can't tell her what to believe and what not to, but you don't want her brainwashing your kid and you don't want to pay money to the church and you don't want the church to drive your wife away from you.

Perhaps get her the old testament as a gift, no strings attached, tell her it is the source and you thought she'd appreciate it.

But don't go reading it with her and pointing out all the flaws, that would be too much.
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27-04-2015, 03:48 AM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
(26-04-2015 09:29 PM)RogueWarrior Wrote:  Another thing you can do is read Strobel's book. But wait for her questions.

Don't push.

You can also get a relatively quicker synopsis of his book by watching another atheist go through the trouble of reading it and commenting on the whole book.




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27-04-2015, 05:19 AM
RE: My wife is going to get baptized.
Certainly her right as a human right, but the reality is it is a mere ritual that is a placebo and does not do anything in reality.

Bathing in anything is an old motif, before Christians used water, polytheists bathed in blood. But Christianity didn't give up on the blood motif outright, the act of violence of being tortured to death in the story of Jesus is a blood sacrifice.

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