My world is falling apart
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14-12-2014, 12:20 PM
My world is falling apart
I feel like I don't have to ask. It seems like the writing is on the wall. My cousin who had promised to pay for my college tuition next year just lost a major contract in her business. Looks to me like I won't be graduating after all.

How did this happen to me? I just logged into facebook and I just learned that one of my friends got accepted into Harvard Business School AND Stanford's. The guy's 25, married and has a child. This guy is who I wanted to be.

It's not all doom and gloom. I've got this business idea that I believe has a lot of potential. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of abandoning my dreams of college. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of people looking at me with pity. I'm afraid of losing when I've been a winner for so long. What if my life just turns to nothing? I console myself by saying people go to college to get jobs so they can feed themselves. Going into business for myself can afford me a life that they probably would never conceive. Even the Harvard elite.

But the fear of failure... am I ready? I've got Felix Dennis' words floating around my head. In his book How to get Rich he paints a scenario of a person who turned down an offer to join a friend in business. Then he says that friend succeeded and now has a membership to an exclusive country club that most people can't afford. Dennis sure as hell knows how to get you going.

I'm just scared.

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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14-12-2014, 12:25 PM
RE: My world is falling apart
Fear can be a call to action - gets your brain moving and looking for answers, or it can consume you and shut you down. You have to decide if being afraid will motivate or imprison you.

Sometimes life just doesn't go quite as we planned - that doesn't mean that it doesn't turn out for the best.

There are times when an unexpected change in plans leads you down what ends up being a better path after all.

Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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14-12-2014, 12:35 PM
RE: My world is falling apart
A higher education is not a guarantee of success. Not having one does not equate to failure (can you say Steve Jobs?).

Not finishing college because you don’t have the funds is not the same thing as not finishing because you didn’t have the capacity.

If you weren’t scared to fail going off on your own I’d say you were unrealistic. Be as objective as possible with yourself, your skills, knowledge and drive. Having your own business pays off in ways you’d never expect.

Not trying is the biggest failure.

Good luck.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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14-12-2014, 12:45 PM
RE: My world is falling apart
As a life long entrepreneur, I have to tell you that - yes - you will likely fail in business. It is very, very rare for anyone ever to succeed first time out and ride on it for life. Failure is part of the learning process, and it is not likely that you can circumvent it. You just pick yourself up and start over.

The benefits are motivation (nothing like growing your own business), excitement, pride, freedom, and eventually, decent money.

But you mustn't be afraid of failure, you wear it like a badge! Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-12-2014, 12:53 PM
RE: My world is falling apart
(14-12-2014 12:45 PM)Dom Wrote:  As a life long entrepreneur, I have to tell you that - yes - you will likely fail in business. It is very, very rare for anyone ever to succeed first time out and ride on it for life. Failure is part of the learning process, and it is not likely that you can circumvent it. You just pick yourself up and start over.

To be fair, that applies to every field.

We don't really like the idea that luck is a major factor in everything, because that childish part of our hindbrain likes to believe that the world is both totally fair and that we are the most special people in it...

... this is my signature!
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14-12-2014, 01:11 PM
RE: My world is falling apart
(14-12-2014 12:20 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  The guy's 25, married and has a child. This guy is who I wanted to be.

Interesting. You say "25, married and has a child" like it's a good thing. What I heard was "This guy's a slave and will have no life of his own for the next 18 years."

Probably longer with Harvard style student loans hanging over his head. Poor guy...

I'm exaggerating a little (ok, maybe more that a little Tongue ), but it's to make a point that a lot of this is a matter of perspective.

Comparing yourself to others, where you think you should be, or where societal programming says you should be is a guaranteed way to make yourself feel bad for the rest of your life.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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14-12-2014, 11:02 PM (This post was last modified: 14-12-2014 11:10 PM by BlackMason.)
RE: My world is falling apart
Thanks, everyone, for the responses.

(14-12-2014 12:35 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  A higher education is not a guarantee of success. Not having one does not equate to failure (can you say Steve Jobs?).

I know what you're talking about. Steve Jobs is one of my heroes. However, I see him and many others as outliers. I have an aversion on basing probabilities on outliers. I prefer using average people as that is more likely to yield realistic results.

On the rest of what you said: I agree. I am trying to be objective about everything. It really helps being a sceptic.

(14-12-2014 12:25 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Fear can be a call to action - gets your brain moving and looking for answers, or it can consume you and shut you down. You have to decide if being afraid will motivate or imprison you.

Sometimes life just doesn't go quite as we planned - that doesn't mean that it doesn't turn out for the best.

There are times when an unexpected change in plans leads you down what ends up being a better path after all.

Heart

I'm gonna do whatever I can to get this to motivate me. I don't wanna be a slave to fear. Since I've abandoned the idea of gods, I realise that it is up to me to make this turn out for the best. There is no magic man with a wand upstairs. This situation can either make me or break me.

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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16-12-2014, 05:28 AM
RE: My world is falling apart
(14-12-2014 11:02 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  Thanks, everyone, for the responses.

(14-12-2014 12:35 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  A higher education is not a guarantee of success. Not having one does not equate to failure (can you say Steve Jobs?).

I know what you're talking about. Steve Jobs is one of my heroes. However, I see him and many others as outliers. I have an aversion on basing probabilities on outliers. I prefer using average people as that is more likely to yield realistic results.

On the rest of what you said: I agree. I am trying to be objective about everything. It really helps being a sceptic.

(14-12-2014 12:25 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Fear can be a call to action - gets your brain moving and looking for answers, or it can consume you and shut you down. You have to decide if being afraid will motivate or imprison you.

Sometimes life just doesn't go quite as we planned - that doesn't mean that it doesn't turn out for the best.

There are times when an unexpected change in plans leads you down what ends up being a better path after all.

Heart

I'm gonna do whatever I can to get this to motivate me. I don't wanna be a slave to fear. Since I've abandoned the idea of gods, I realise that it is up to me to make this turn out for the best. There is no magic man with a wand upstairs. This situation can either make me or break me.

Do what you need to do to make money for the time being, and you can always take online courses to finish that degree when you have the money to do so. You won't be the first person who worked themselves through college.
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16-12-2014, 06:30 AM
RE: My world is falling apart
(14-12-2014 12:20 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  I feel like I don't have to ask. It seems like the writing is on the wall. My cousin who had promised to pay for my college tuition next year just lost a major contract in her business. Looks to me like I won't be graduating after all.

How did this happen to me? I just logged into facebook and I just learned that one of my friends got accepted into Harvard Business School AND Stanford's. The guy's 25, married and has a child. This guy is who I wanted to be.

It's not all doom and gloom. I've got this business idea that I believe has a lot of potential. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid of abandoning my dreams of college. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of people looking at me with pity. I'm afraid of losing when I've been a winner for so long. What if my life just turns to nothing? I console myself by saying people go to college to get jobs so they can feed themselves. Going into business for myself can afford me a life that they probably would never conceive. Even the Harvard elite.

But the fear of failure... am I ready? I've got Felix Dennis' words floating around my head. In his book How to get Rich he paints a scenario of a person who turned down an offer to join a friend in business. Then he says that friend succeeded and now has a membership to an exclusive country club that most people can't afford. Dennis sure as hell knows how to get you going.

I'm just scared.

I have a college degree and even after getting it I have worked food service for the most part. Instead of saying your life sucks maybe we as a society need to stop pissing on the middle class and working poor as if it is a crime to provide livable wages no matter where someone ends up.

The people at the bottom and middle are worthy human beings no matter what they do. If you have something you want to do in life that is great. But I get pissed at people who feel sorry for themselves when the reality is that thy have been sold this bullshit that title and paycheck are the only thing that define you. Our pay gap and cost of living and 1% monopoly are why it is hard for more people.

I would not trade what is in my head as far as my education for any title. It is just as important to be educated no matter what class you are in as it is to have more than one class. Our GDP is more than enough there should be no poverty wages in this country.

I still feel myself that because of my education that I provide a contribution by having it. It has made me a huge advocate for the value of education. It has made me an online activist for science and skepticism. And even with my personal life, I would not have written almost 500 poems if I spent all my life chasing money.

The world has enough rich people. The world needs more thinkers, skeptics, scientists, problem solvers and artists. But what we need the most is livable wages for everyone.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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