My worst nightmare
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30-05-2016, 01:52 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 01:23 PM)Dom Wrote:  Well, I am not leaving my house, gardens or dogs. They'll have to carry me out of here.

I spent a life time creating this environment for me, and I did keep old age in mind when I built this house. It is small and very manageable, everything is super convenient.

Your grandma's life towards the end is totally what I am afraid of - starting out with the loss of everything I worked for but keeping a modicum of freedom, turning into a dependent situation and ending up totally defenseless with Alzheimer and having missed the opportunity to exit. Because once you are under supervision, there is no way out. The more miserable you get, the less opportunity you have to escape the misery.

I will avoid that at all cost, should my path ever point in that direction.

I had begged her more than once to move up here but she refused. Honestly tho, in retrospect, I think she probably recieved better care in Cali, than she would have gotten here in Oregon. By the time she was more or less ready to move, moving her would have been quite impossible.

The first place was perfect for her at the time, because she didn't want to clean house anymore and was actually afraid of being alone. She was well into her 80s and really enjoyed living there. Eventually she did opt for the meal plan, but for the first couple years, she decided to provide her own meals.

The second place, where they monitored her medications wasn't so terrible either at first for her, they basically left her alone, except at pill time. She wasn't into gardening (they had a huge resident garden) or the clubs anyway. She loved her baseball and would watch that endlessly. Of course there was church and her relatives she wouldn't leave. Obviously enough she didn't mind missing me and her great grandchildren. Sleepy

She was 89 when she passed away, and probably only the last few months of her life she wasn't driving her own bus -- but at that time, she didn't know half of what was happening to her. She'd call me and ask if my mom was taking her to the doctor -- that was jarring for me since my mom had been dead since 1988. Once she called me at 3am saying she was dead -- dementia is fucked up.

It was a horribly stressful time for me, since that's when I was going through my younger son's issues and figuring out what was wrong with him. I couldn't just drop everything here and fly down there to live in a motel and see to her for months (even tho her family felt I should).

I get what you're saying about not wanting to leave your home, dogs gardens...

I think I'd prefer to go husband's grandmother. She lived on her own and alone until she passed away. One night she went to bed and just kept on sleeping.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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30-05-2016, 02:09 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
For the more "social", some sort of community is not all that bad, when they're actually ready . One of my great-aunts (quiet the social old thing), went kicking to as assisted living. A few weeks later we called her and said, "Let's go out to lunch." She said "Oh no dear, I'll miss lunch with all my friends". Facepalm
Then she said "I was so sick of cooking for one ... being waited on is not all that bad".

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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30-05-2016, 02:22 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 02:09 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  For the more "social", some sort of community is not all that bad, when they're actually ready . One of my great-aunts (quiet the social old thing), went kicking to as assisted living. A few weeks later we called her and said, "Let's go out to lunch." She said "Oh no dear, I'll miss lunch with all my friends". Facepalm
Then she said "I was so sick of cooking for one ... being waited on is not all that bad".

That's what my grandmother would say. She'd be afraid she'd miss out on some juicy gossip. Tongue Almost word for word...she felt it was like being on vacation. In her world, to get that kind of service one would need to be hospitalized.

In fact more than once she would go to the hospital to "get a break". Fake a bad cough or whatever and some sympathic Doctor would admit her and blue cross funded her vacation. Sure she had to deal with some pesky tests and being woke during the night, but it never seemed to bother her. All her church friends would visit and bring flowers.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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30-05-2016, 03:53 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
Yep, like I said in the OP, some people like it. Some thrive on the structure and care and lack of responsibility. If it's a decent place devoid of abuse, of course.

Others, like me, abhor the idea of socializing with people on a daily basis. I hate small talk and drama and god talk and stupid and, and, and.... I can only take so much of it and am uncomfortable the whole time. Oddly, I am popular in whatever group I join. Which makes it worse because people feel compelled to "reach out" to me and save me from my (non-existent) loneliness.

They mean well, god bless their souls. Confused

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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30-05-2016, 03:59 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 03:53 PM)Dom Wrote:  Yep, like I said in the OP, some people like it. Some thrive on the structure and care and lack of responsibility. If it's a decent place devoid of abuse, of course.

Others, like me, abhor the idea of socializing with people on a daily basis. I hate small talk and drama and god talk and stupid and, and, and.... I can only take so much of it and am uncomfortable the whole time. Oddly, I am popular in whatever group I join. Which makes it worse because people feel compelled to "reach out" to me and save me from my (non-existent) loneliness.

They mean well, god bless their souls. Confused

The older I get the less actual contact I want with people. By the time I am 'old enough' to be put in a home they would be better off to cut me loose on an ice floe. Undecided

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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30-05-2016, 04:14 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 03:59 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(30-05-2016 03:53 PM)Dom Wrote:  Yep, like I said in the OP, some people like it. Some thrive on the structure and care and lack of responsibility. If it's a decent place devoid of abuse, of course.

Others, like me, abhor the idea of socializing with people on a daily basis. I hate small talk and drama and god talk and stupid and, and, and.... I can only take so much of it and am uncomfortable the whole time. Oddly, I am popular in whatever group I join. Which makes it worse because people feel compelled to "reach out" to me and save me from my (non-existent) loneliness.

They mean well, god bless their souls. Confused

The older I get the less actual contact I want with people. By the time I am 'old enough' to be put in a home they would be better off to cut me loose on an ice floe. Undecided

I know a couple nunneries I could suggest. Big Grin

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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30-05-2016, 04:18 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
My dad told us kids that if he got to that point, we should take him up a mountain, tape him to a bike, strap on a GoPro, then let him roll.

But really, I hope they legalize euthanasia by the time I'm old. I want to die on my own terms, if I can help it.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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30-05-2016, 04:21 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
I had a portrait of me painted ,it is now in my attic. Hope it works out.

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30-05-2016, 04:25 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 04:21 PM)Slowminded Wrote:  I had a portrait of me painted ,it is now in my attic. Hope it works out.

I used to joke that Dick Clark had one of those.

I'd make sure tho it's not actually hanging on a wall. Rest it so it can't fall and break. Tongue

I think that's where Dick made his mistake.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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30-05-2016, 04:29 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 03:59 PM)Anjele Wrote:  The older I get the less actual contact I want with people. By the time I am 'old enough' to be put in a home they would be better off to cut me loose on an ice floe. Undecided

Yep, and the less tolerance I have for bullshit, too. And the less inhibitions I have to say so.

What's the female version of grumpy old man? That's what I am turning into. I just don't want to deal with all of the BS.

I'd probably be an old folk's home worst nightmare and trouble maker.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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