My worst nightmare
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31-05-2016, 05:22 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(31-05-2016 05:08 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(31-05-2016 04:51 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Hi guys.

I just got home from assisted living over the course of another 8 days in hospital yesterday. I have been asleep ever since. I am still a bit out of it, being early morning here and having just awoken.

However if you don't mind, I will take a shot at my view.

I have now spent in excess of 11 months in hospital. I believe it is 11 months and 2 weeks all up. Mine was not an aged care facility but a regular public hospital. I do not enjoy it, but am quite used to it.

Sadly I will likely die in a hospital. I will probably succumb to a viral disease and my body will give out. Or I will have a serious fall at home and die from that or be taken by ambulance to hospital and die there.

Often there is no choice. Life and death simply happen to us and the luxury of saying "I want this" or "that" does not exist.

The worst thing about long term stays in hospital is the food, uncomfortable bedding, being at the mercy of others and losing one's decision making choices. The doctors will do as they think best regardless. For example I have issues with "Pain teams" who do not listen. "They've tried that drug on me and it doesn't work!"

They then prescribe it anyway. Sadcryface2

I had the experience as many know of nursing mum through MS. I did my best to keep her from being institutionalised. However it nearly killed me as a young man. I would have the great experience of being on TV and then returning home to a household that reeked of illness. That's right. Serious illness smells.

So even those great experiences were ruined.

I had thought to myself years ago if ever I get a serious illness I will kill myself. I then got an extremely serious illness and decided to fight it. So I was given 8 weeks to live in Sept' 14, asked if I wanted to fight it, I did and and remain alive. However since that time there has been 11+ months in hospital, great suffering, madness, a host of invasive tests (34 lumbar punctures and 30+ bone marrow biopsies), Then recently 3 viruses at once! 6 times spent in isolation and 3 weeks in the ICU.

Is it worth it to stay alive? I tend to think so.

The typical old aged care facility does not appear very attractive. This is a given. However compared to 11 months on a cancer ward, it seems rather pleasant and easy. Of course I have only experienced the one type.

There are many ugly ways to die. For example, a 46 year old woman was taken by a saltwater crocodile here in Australia a few days ago. Lung cancer is just shocking!

We don't often get the choice. Good luck to those who do.

I think the big difference here is hope. You can and should hope to recover fully and live many more years. When your fighting succeeds, you will have so many things to enjoy.

For the old, nothing can get better and everything tends to get worse. There is no cure for dying of old age. And, they know for a fact that their time is numbered. They don't have hope for the future, just the present. The present becomes the important thing then.

But you, you are probably the strongest person I know. There is plenty of good reason to think that you will barrel your way through this and end up healed with a bright future. For you, there is tons of hope.

Thanks Dom.
I wish we had more control.

I recall the last time I spoke with mum. She kept asking "Where's Dale?"

Heartbreaking. She then died on Mother's day. In a nursing home. After she broke her hip there was no way I could care for her at home anymore.

Aging sucks. I do hope I get there though. My 87 year old father spends time with my 3 year old niece. He's also healthier than I. And 35 years older. 35 years! I am hoping for 18 so I can visit my niece's 21st birthday party. Smile

It seems to be the individual.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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31-05-2016, 05:32 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(31-05-2016 05:22 PM)Banjo Wrote:  
(31-05-2016 05:08 PM)Dom Wrote:  I think the big difference here is hope. You can and should hope to recover fully and live many more years. When your fighting succeeds, you will have so many things to enjoy.

For the old, nothing can get better and everything tends to get worse. There is no cure for dying of old age. And, they know for a fact that their time is numbered. They don't have hope for the future, just the present. The present becomes the important thing then.

But you, you are probably the strongest person I know. There is plenty of good reason to think that you will barrel your way through this and end up healed with a bright future. For you, there is tons of hope.

Thanks Dom.
I wish we had more control.

I recall the last time I spoke with mum. She kept asking "Where's Dale?"

Heartbreaking. She then died on Mother's day. In a nursing home. After she broke her hip there was no way I could care for her at home anymore.

Aging sucks. I do hope I get there though. My 87 year old father spends time with my 3 year old niece. He's also healthier than I. And 35 years older. 35 years! I am hoping for 18 so I can visit my niece's 21st birthday party. Smile

It seems to be the individual.

We're all born with different attributes. We all do the best we can with what we've got. Physically, mentally, and through individual life experiences, we are all different and we won't know what happens and when until it gets here.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-05-2016, 06:20 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
Here's hoping that the medicine and doctors get you well. My youngest brother had surgery, chemo and radiation therapy at 51 for laryngeal cancer. All kinds of pain and medical issues. The last dose of chemo was given at 60% of what he had been getting, because the doctors were afraid that the last dose at 100% would have killed him. That's how close it was. He's back to work, after a year and a half convalescence. Hope it ends up that way for you (except maybe less convalescence). Thumbsup That's all I got, there doesn't appear to be a beer smiley here.
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31-05-2016, 06:23 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(31-05-2016 05:22 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Aging sucks. I do hope I get there though. My 87 year old father spends time with my 3 year old niece. He's also healthier than I. And 35 years older. 35 years! I am hoping for 18 so I can visit my niece's 21st birthday party. Smile

It seems to be the individual.

You're starting with good genes at least. Thumbsup

#sigh
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31-05-2016, 07:34 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(30-05-2016 07:48 AM)Dom Wrote:  Now that I am getting older (how the fuck did that happen?) my worst fear is not being able to care for myself.

The thought of an "assisted living facility" scares the shit outta me. The "community" aspect of it does most of all. The thought of "activities" with a group of people you have not chosen to be with makes me shudder.

As introvert and as a person who has been independent all her life, I love my life as it is now. I do what I want, I answer to no one. I happen to enjoy the simple things in life, so I can afford to spoil myself. I keep the hours I want, read, play on the PC, play in my flower garden, grow veggies and fruit and play with my dogs. I watch nature a lot. It's fun and peaceful.

The thought that in just 10 years time I might find myself in a situation where I need daily help terrifies me. As introvert, an assisted living facility is pretty much as scary as things can get. Complete dependence, forced socialization and exposure to possible elder abuse is so horrific a thought to me that I may very well choose the big exit if any of this were ever to actually loom on the horizon.

I know there are some people who love such places, they thrive on socializing and prefer being taken care of to independence. I am not one of them.

There is really no point to make this post, other than perhaps raising awareness about the issue. Don't assume you know what's best for your parents. Listen to them - because assisted living is a life sentence. Nobody ever leaves alive. And while I am sure there are some good places, elder abuse thrives in some of them, too.

Personally, I'll likely hire private in house help if and when that becomes necessary. If I can't afford that somehow, I will choose to exit, rather than conclude my so far very interesting and exciting life by wasting away in some institution. That is just no way to end a life well lived.

That's not your worst nightmare.

Rambo is your worst nightmare.

[Image: rambo.jpg]

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

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31-05-2016, 07:38 PM (This post was last modified: 31-05-2016 07:44 PM by Dom.)
RE: My worst nightmare
(31-05-2016 07:34 PM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:  
(30-05-2016 07:48 AM)Dom Wrote:  Now that I am getting older (how the fuck did that happen?) my worst fear is not being able to care for myself.

The thought of an "assisted living facility" scares the shit outta me. The "community" aspect of it does most of all. The thought of "activities" with a group of people you have not chosen to be with makes me shudder.

As introvert and as a person who has been independent all her life, I love my life as it is now. I do what I want, I answer to no one. I happen to enjoy the simple things in life, so I can afford to spoil myself. I keep the hours I want, read, play on the PC, play in my flower garden, grow veggies and fruit and play with my dogs. I watch nature a lot. It's fun and peaceful.

The thought that in just 10 years time I might find myself in a situation where I need daily help terrifies me. As introvert, an assisted living facility is pretty much as scary as things can get. Complete dependence, forced socialization and exposure to possible elder abuse is so horrific a thought to me that I may very well choose the big exit if any of this were ever to actually loom on the horizon.

I know there are some people who love such places, they thrive on socializing and prefer being taken care of to independence. I am not one of them.

There is really no point to make this post, other than perhaps raising awareness about the issue. Don't assume you know what's best for your parents. Listen to them - because assisted living is a life sentence. Nobody ever leaves alive. And while I am sure there are some good places, elder abuse thrives in some of them, too.

Personally, I'll likely hire private in house help if and when that becomes necessary. If I can't afford that somehow, I will choose to exit, rather than conclude my so far very interesting and exciting life by wasting away in some institution. That is just no way to end a life well lived.

That's not your worst nightmare.

Rambo is your worst nightmare.

[Image: rambo.jpg]

No, he's not. If he'd take me out I'd be gone. Problem solved.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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31-05-2016, 07:56 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
Worst nightmare:

being totally paralyzed, yet still able to feel everything, and having giant spiders eating my eyeballs.
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31-05-2016, 10:26 PM
RE: My worst nightmare
(31-05-2016 07:56 PM)Sean Crawley Wrote:  Worst nightmare:

being totally paralyzed, yet still able to feel everything, and having giant spiders eating my balls by injecting a painful venom.

FTFY. BTW, welcome!
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