Nagging religious family and friends...
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20-04-2015, 01:32 PM
Nagging religious family and friends...
So I recently came out to some aunts (I'm pretty sure they spread the news to everyone else). None of them are accepting of my "decision" to be gay, which I expected. but a few of them are more than non-accepting, they are trying to convert me. After talking on the phone with one of my aunts, it's obvious that they are merely ignorant LGBT-issues and concerns. All they care about is what the bible says about it, even after i tried explaining that i don't believe in it.

I'm not out to anyone outside my family (except my ex-pastor, but that's a long awful story...). I really want to be out to everyone, whether they accept me or not, but I feel like i can't move on because I everyone sees me as the "good church-boy". Coming out as the "atheist gay-heathen" will tear apart many of the relationships I currently have.

How can i stop/prevent the annoying text messages, facebook tags, and awkward phone calls without being a dick about it?
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20-04-2015, 03:00 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
It would probably be best to have a one on one conversation with the ones you want to keep. Just explain where you are at, and define the relationship you want with them. Tell them that you are done with the badgering to get you to do things their way. Once you have had a heart to heart with the major ones, and they continue, then be a dick about your boundaries.

Love me or leave me, but don't just nag,nag,nag about the way I choose to live my life.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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20-04-2015, 03:24 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
AFAIK Christians have no biblical basis to be against Homosexuality aside from 1 or 2 passages including the infamous "abomination" verse in Leviticus. I say no basis because the same book describes so many other things that they almost definitely do that they completely ignore and pretend all is kosher. How to make them more accepting, I don't know. But I think if it were me, I'd ask them why they were against it, and if they say the bible, I would have them cite the source, then point out topics surrounding that verse that go against THEIR current lifestyle.

Of course, that won't help much with the exodus from the "atheist closet"...

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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20-04-2015, 03:32 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
(20-04-2015 01:32 PM)chibigiraffe Wrote:  How can i stop/prevent the annoying text messages, facebook tags, and awkward phone calls without being a dick about it?

If it was me I'd unfriend them from facebook, change my telephone number and not give it out to anyone else without an explicit statement that it's not to be passed on to anyone else. If they do then you will change your telephone number again and won't tell it to them again.

It's only when you draw the line in the sand and maintain that line that people eventually stop trying to cross it. They will of course use emotional blackmail on you and make you think that you are being a dick. But they will do this so that they can carry on nagging you. It will continue until you put your foot down. You should do it in a way that you yourself know that you weren't a dick about it regardless of what anyone else says. You after all have to live with yourself.
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20-04-2015, 03:35 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
(20-04-2015 03:32 PM)Mathilda Wrote:  
(20-04-2015 01:32 PM)chibigiraffe Wrote:  How can i stop/prevent the annoying text messages, facebook tags, and awkward phone calls without being a dick about it?

It will continue until you put your foot down.
You should do it in a way that you yourself know that you weren't a dick about it regardless of what anyone else says. You after all have to live with yourself.

^^^ that bold part says it all.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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22-04-2015, 10:03 AM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
As painful as this is right now, the good news is that most if this will eventually pass. One of my wife's cousin's (in the south) came out as gay and it threw the family into furor, but it eventually all subsided. He now comes to all the family gatherings and it's as if nothing ever happened. I know that there are really religious people in her family that don't approve, but at least they are civil. I know your situation is different and more difficult since you are coming out gay and atheist, but eventually the dust will settle.

You stated that you wanted to come out to everyone whether they accept you or not. Maybe the "or not" still weighs heavily on you (and it is certainly understandable why it would).
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22-04-2015, 11:04 AM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
Every time one of them texts you, send them one of these. There are a ton out there and they may eventually stop annoying you.

[Image: gayjesus760.jpg]

[Image: Gay-Jesus.jpg]

[Image: Jesus-Loves-You.jpg]

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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22-04-2015, 12:14 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
Remind them about the biblical story about David and Jonathan.

“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” (1 Samuel 18:1-4)

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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22-04-2015, 12:21 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
Oh and don't forget to mention how David was one of God's favorites! Smile

Acts 13:22--

"After removing Saul, he (God) made David their king. God testified concerning him: I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do."

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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22-04-2015, 01:13 PM
RE: Nagging religious family and friends...
(22-04-2015 12:14 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Remind them about the biblical story about David and Jonathan.

“When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” (1 Samuel 18:1-4)

I agree more with the statements above that it will continue until you put your foot down. People of older ages who are set in their ways rarely are capable of changing that mindset, it's a psychological thing, and spouting bible verses isn't going to change their mind about bigotry and hatred.

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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