Narcissists Anonymous
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25-07-2014, 12:08 PM (This post was last modified: 25-07-2014 12:12 PM by Wicked Clown.)
Narcissists Anonymous
Welcome to my NA group.

I'm Matt I'm A narcissist. "Hi Matt"

Well, I'm convinced that I am one because I just lost my precious relationship with a girl I thought the world of. Things have been really rough lately and stupid me, I had a dream that she died in a car wreck and I shared it with her via email and this was her response:

"This is what I'm talking about. You had a dream that I died??

I'm done with you now. You didn't have a dream. Rather you are angry with me. You are a narcissist and I'm done with you.

Don't write anymore."

My heart bleeds for this girl. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just woke up worried about her because I have nightmares like this about me dying or getting attacked by beasts, or family members or friends dying.

The narcissist quality that I don't have is I'm interested in other people. I like to ask them questions and listen to them. Most Narcissists want to do all the talking and put on a show for everyone.

I like to be the center of attention and I'm preoccupied with self, which is disgusting, but I do care about others. Yet I'm very manipulative and have boundry issues and desires to use people or control or dominate.

Yet I've never told this girl a lie. But I have lied to other people. I won't ever lie to her though.

And I don't act on my fantasies to hurt people.

I don't want to be this way. I'm getting help though. I'm in an IRTS center now getting professional help.

K K...if you can help me that's great. This is sincere. I don't want to be a self-centered douchebag!
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25-07-2014, 12:26 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
I'd offer some help, but that would just make it more about you... Feeding your narcissism. I'd offer you advice based on my own experiences, but now I'm feeling self conscious about being a narcissistic ass.
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[+] 4 users Like WeAreTheCosmos's post
25-07-2014, 12:27 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
Thanks for being honest and putting my disgusting self in check! Shame on me! Sad
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25-07-2014, 12:31 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
(25-07-2014 12:08 PM)Wicked Clown Wrote:  Welcome to my NA group.

I'm Matt I'm A narcissist. "Hi Matt"

Well, I'm convinced that I am one because I just lost my precious relationship with a girl I thought the world of. Things have been really rough lately and stupid me, I had a dream that she died in a car wreck and I shared it with her via email and this was her response:

"This is what I'm talking about. You had a dream that I died??

I'm done with you now. You didn't have a dream. Rather you are angry with me. You are a narcissist and I'm done with you.

Don't write anymore."

My heart bleeds for this girl. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just woke up worried about her because I have nightmares like this about me dying or getting attacked by beasts, or family members or friends dying.

The narcissist quality that I don't have is I'm interested in other people. I like to ask them questions and listen to them. Most Narcissists want to do all the talking and put on a show for everyone.

I like to be the center of attention and I'm preoccupied with self, which is disgusting, but I do care about others. Yet I'm very manipulative and have boundry issues and desires to use people or control or dominate.

Yet I've never told this girl a lie. But I have lied to other people. I won't ever lie to her though.

And I don't act on my fantasies to hurt people.

I don't want to be this way. I'm getting help though. I'm in an IRTS center now getting professional help.

K K...if you can help me that's great. This is sincere. I don't want to be a self-centered douchebag!

Um I don't think you're a self centered douche for sharing a dream.
Get better girl. Maybe one with skin.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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25-07-2014, 02:28 PM (This post was last modified: 25-07-2014 02:50 PM by Wicked Clown.)
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
It wasn't just sharing a dream. I used to give her all these over the top compliments like "yours is more than mortal beauty every word you speak is full of grace, you radiate a sparkling light from thy complexion clearer and more intense than that of a glittering crystal filled with sparkling water trans-pierced by rays of the must con-flagrant sunshine ever illuminating my heart and soul oh light of my life, temple of Solomon, Tower of ivory, Ark of the Covenant, if God had a Mother it would be you, when I see you I think Good job God",...and more. I worshiped the ground she walked on and called her my Queen. She thought I was mocking her and playing her and called me a misogynist.

I say a lot of weird things and I was obsessed with her like I had nothing in my life I cared about but her. I tried to mend the relationship. It seemed like we were getting somewhere and then I'd fumble with my words and say something stupid and everything would go to shit. I'm a weirdo and sick in many ways.

I'm going to have a funeral for her now that she is gone. I thought the world of her and shed many tears today. I don't get close to people but I was close to her and she became something totally different than she was. She was accepting of me and everything about me and let things slide like 99% of good looking women like her would be creeped out by.

And then suddenly she changed. It was so confusing. I'm gonna take some pills and have a vacation. I've been downing many pills. I just think of laying near her heart and dying there.
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25-07-2014, 02:50 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
I sent her this Email but I think she blocked me:

Good Bye my Special friend

"Okay. I couldn't obey your request to stop writing because I can't damage your trust issues and walk away and let it end like that. There has to be an amends made. My heart bleeds for you. I wept hard today for you. I don't know what happened to you to cause these trust issues and I dread the idea that I made them worse.

You obviously weren't who I originally thought you were, but I have learned a lot from this painful, insightful, confusing, but sometimes delightful relationship. I hope I can leave you be but it will be very hard to do so and I will often be tempted to write you.
...But what I can promise you is that I have never lied to you nor will I ever.

I fucked up! Majorly! I didn't mean to but I just didn't think before writing. Which is kind of the status quoe (typical). Because of my senseless and careless words, I hope I can resist the urge to keep writing you. But I never intentionally offended you.

I want what's best for you. Keep your chin up. You will always be an important person to me and I'll hold you in my heart and there the memory of you will always be.

Take Care! I send you my love Smile "
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25-07-2014, 02:51 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
(25-07-2014 12:08 PM)Wicked Clown Wrote:  "This is what I'm talking about. You had a dream that I died??

I'm done with you now. You didn't have a dream. Rather you are angry with me. You are a narcissist and I'm done with you.

Don't write anymore."

Your dream isn't an uncommon one, nor is your sharing it with her. Her reaction makes me think she was already fed up, and used this, as her way out.

I'm the complete opposite of a narc, and unfortunately wound up marrying one. He made our lives miserable. And he never once admitted to his faults, much less that he was a narc. It was always our fault. You at least can acknowledge it.

Sorry for your loss, but it seems you are using the situation to try and better yourself and your life. Good for you Matt.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. ~Mark Twain
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25-07-2014, 03:00 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
In life, some people won't like you Undecided Tough shit, unfortunately for you. Still, plenty of other girls out there. You might wanna work on your pick up lines a bit Wink

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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25-07-2014, 03:06 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
I gotta work on a lot of things. I'm a nonpracticing necrophiliac. I'll never act on it but shit if you're obsessed with death it aint like something you can just will to go away.

That's why I dream about death all the time. It's always been an obsession and I always wonder what it must be like to die and I think of suicide a lot but never have a plan.

I used to always look up on the internet to see crime scenes and death or watch people get hung or shot by firing squads. It's fascinating! I've actually only seen one dead person in my life who wasn't in a casket that is.

I'm gonna talk to professionals more about this and see if there is anything that can be done. I might be stuck with this shit for life. God fucked up on me!
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25-07-2014, 04:26 PM
RE: Narcissists Anonymous
I belong to N.A. (Narcotics anon): AA too.
Sharing my sordid younger days at a meeting it was suggested I join S.L.A. too.
Thought about it, but at 72, too old, and smart to engage in any 13th stepping.Sleepy
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