Nasty Obituary
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15-01-2014, 02:27 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
(15-01-2014 01:53 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(15-01-2014 01:36 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I get the reason. Should it have been published? If it wasn't a lie then it's certainly not illegal. I will, one day, write something quite similar...share it with my sister, and then burn it. There are so many layers to a life with a(n) abusive parent.


Here. Here
Heart


I've only just buried my mom.

And while there were certainly a million painful childhood memories - due to my mom's dementia and extreme vulnerable state the 2 years prior to her death - I could not in good conscience look back to those bad memories whatsoever. I knew those memories were there. I left them alone. Instead I saw her as the pained, broken woman she was at the end. In fact, she appeared like the portrait of Dorian Gray as though all the sad times and meanness in her life had finally surfaced to the skin for all to see.
I buried her with the sadness that had ruled her life. Sorry for the joy of life that is which she clearly went her grave sorely missing. I sent her to her God, knowing full well that her judgement day plagued her throughout her entire life.

I do not think I've ever felt More sorry for a person.

Think the movie Sybil and Mommy Dearest combined and you've got the early history which was mine. I simply chose to NOT be what she said. And left her to her own devices. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

And to face a sense of completion upon her death - I allowed the hurt little girl to be buried with her.




nuff said........
you catch my drift
Heart



I told you : "No more wire hangers !"

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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15-01-2014, 02:28 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
I disagree with courting sour feelings or painful words against someone at their death. The ONE person who could have made the change needed is dead and gone. Done. That's gone with a "D". To let that venom and hate be the last statement of one's life only shows that You (the person complaining) have never risen above nor beyond childhood upsets.

We are a walking combination of everything that has ever happened to us - including all those beatings or bad times we suffered as children.
Look to the mirror - if you say "Yep - I turned out ok and my life is good" - then you are good to go and there's no reason to harbor hate towards another - dead or otherwise.
If you look to the mirror and say "Nope......I have issues." Then be the adult that you are and take responsibility for your own self and fix your business.

The statute of limitations for blaming your parents for your own bad behavior runs out at age 25. So regardless of bad childhood or good one........... you are responsible for your own damn self.

Most horrible parents - I believe - created a hateful world they chose to live in. That was their choice.

Your choices are your own.







(and 100% responsibility of the self is what drew me to witchcraft and wicca so many years ago. In Wicca there is no absolution, no savior, etc. It is a fantastic concept. I just discovered after awhile that I could do the same minus the religion. The ideology is freeing and uplifting. And very empowering. No one should live as a victim.)

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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15-01-2014, 02:30 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
(15-01-2014 02:27 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(15-01-2014 01:53 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  Here. Here
Heart


I've only just buried my mom.

And while there were certainly a million painful childhood memories - due to my mom's dementia and extreme vulnerable state the 2 years prior to her death - I could not in good conscience look back to those bad memories whatsoever. I knew those memories were there. I left them alone. Instead I saw her as the pained, broken woman she was at the end. In fact, she appeared like the portrait of Dorian Gray as though all the sad times and meanness in her life had finally surfaced to the skin for all to see.
I buried her with the sadness that had ruled her life. Sorry for the joy of life that is which she clearly went her grave sorely missing. I sent her to her God, knowing full well that her judgement day plagued her throughout her entire life.

I do not think I've ever felt More sorry for a person.

Think the movie Sybil and Mommy Dearest combined and you've got the early history which was mine. I simply chose to NOT be what she said. And left her to her own devices. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

And to face a sense of completion upon her death - I allowed the hurt little girl to be buried with her.




nuff said........
you catch my drift
Heart



I told you : "No more wire hangers !"


Exactly.

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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15-01-2014, 02:36 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
I just want to say, the statute of limitation for blaming your parents for your own bad behavior ends at 25 OR whenever you become a parent. Whichever is earlier.

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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15-01-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
(15-01-2014 01:53 PM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(15-01-2014 01:36 PM)Anjele Wrote:  I get the reason. Should it have been published? If it wasn't a lie then it's certainly not illegal. I will, one day, write something quite similar...share it with my sister, and then burn it. There are so many layers to a life with a(n) abusive parent.


Here. Here
Heart


I've only just buried my mom.

And while there were certainly a million painful childhood memories - due to my mom's dementia and extreme vulnerable state the 2 years prior to her death - I could not in good conscience look back to those bad memories whatsoever. I knew those memories were there. I left them alone. Instead I saw her as the pained, broken woman she was at the end. In fact, she appeared like the portrait of Dorian Gray as though all the sad times and meanness in her life had finally surfaced to the skin for all to see.
I buried her with the sadness that had ruled her life. Sorry for the joy of life that is which she clearly went her grave sorely missing. I sent her to her God, knowing full well that her judgement day plagued her throughout her entire life.

I do not think I've ever felt More sorry for a person.

Think the movie Sybil and Mommy Dearest combined and you've got the early history which was mine. I simply chose to NOT be what she said. And left her to her own devices. Easy? No. Doable? Yes.

And to face a sense of completion upon her death - I allowed the hurt little girl to be buried with her.




nuff said........
you catch my drift
Heart
I understand every word.
Heart

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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15-01-2014, 02:48 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
As I am getting older and more and more people I know have died, I did notice something about obits.

When someone dies, and you sit down and think about them, you do mostly remember the good. Even if the person was kinda sucky, you tend to recall the time they were nice. If they were mean most of their life, you recall the times towards the end when they were weak and needy and human. It's natural to do.

Now if someone was so evil that people can only think of bad shit after they die, then they probably deserve a scathing obit. No, of course they are not around to defend themselves. They are also not around to be hurt by it.

Grieving is for the survivors, for their feelings, it has nothing to do with the dear departed. If the death of a person solicits no feelings other than relief in the survivors, I see no shame in saying so out loud. Finally having your say after a life time of oppression must be cathartic. More power to them.

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15-01-2014, 03:03 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
(15-01-2014 02:48 PM)Dom Wrote:  As I am getting older and more and more people I know have died, I did notice something about obits.

When someone dies, and you sit down and think about them, you do mostly remember the good. Even if the person was kinda sucky, you tend to recall the time they were nice. If they were mean most of their life, you recall the times towards the end when they were weak and needy and human. It's natural to do.

Now if someone was so evil that people can only think of bad shit after they die, then they probably deserve a scathing obit. No, of course they are not around to defend themselves. They are also not around to be hurt by it.

Grieving is for the survivors, for their feelings, it has nothing to do with the dear departed. If the death of a person solicits no feelings other than relief in the survivors, I see no shame in saying so out loud. Finally having your say after a life time of oppression must be cathartic. More power to them.

Makes sense to me...both my parents were really bad as parents. Toward the end of dad's life after he and mom split I became his 'person'. Suddenly I had worth that was overlooked before. I became the parent, doing things for him that he should have been doing for me. We did a lot of talking and got many things resolved, the things that weren't resolved I have let go of since he died four years ago. And he really did teach me some good things along the way and we were buddies when I was little, till mom turned him against me. So there were some good memories and we ended with things more good than bad.

My mother, on the other hand, is the most evil, hateful, hurtful, manipulative creature I have ever encountered. When she could no longer orchestrate physical abuse due to geography, she used emotional abuse on many levels. I broke ties with her, my sister still suffers her abuse as she isn't able to make the cut that I made. My mother has been awful to me and my kids and because of that has never met her great grandchildren and never will.

As for when you are responsible and you have to quit blaming your parents...I have to push the age up a bit I think. The last beating I took from dad, at mom's urging, I was in my mid 20s and it took place in front of my daughters. One of them sitting in her high chair watching me get slammed on the floor, my glasses broken and my eye blackened. My four year old was trying to protect me from her grandparents.

Yeah, I could write one hell of a nasty obituary and it would be well deserved. But I don't intend to be involved in her death in any fashion. I already said goodbye about 10 years ago.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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15-01-2014, 04:15 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
My grandparents were abusive cunts and actual fascists. Yes, actualy fascists with all that Swastiker, Hitler shit. My greatgrandma always told me that I "shouldnt trust jews or Russians" and I have been to the funerals of actual warcriminals.

And nobody had anything nasty to say about them.

So yes, when a person who was a cunt dies, one shouldnt fear being nasty.

I myself have a list of future graves to piss on.

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15-01-2014, 04:27 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
(15-01-2014 03:03 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(15-01-2014 02:48 PM)Dom Wrote:  As I am getting older and more and more people I know have died, I did notice something about obits.

When someone dies, and you sit down and think about them, you do mostly remember the good. Even if the person was kinda sucky, you tend to recall the time they were nice. If they were mean most of their life, you recall the times towards the end when they were weak and needy and human. It's natural to do.

Now if someone was so evil that people can only think of bad shit after they die, then they probably deserve a scathing obit. No, of course they are not around to defend themselves. They are also not around to be hurt by it.

Grieving is for the survivors, for their feelings, it has nothing to do with the dear departed. If the death of a person solicits no feelings other than relief in the survivors, I see no shame in saying so out loud. Finally having your say after a life time of oppression must be cathartic. More power to them.

Makes sense to me...both my parents were really bad as parents. Toward the end of dad's life after he and mom split I became his 'person'. Suddenly I had worth that was overlooked before. I became the parent, doing things for him that he should have been doing for me. We did a lot of talking and got many things resolved, the things that weren't resolved I have let go of since he died four years ago. And he really did teach me some good things along the way and we were buddies when I was little, till mom turned him against me. So there were some good memories and we ended with things more good than bad.

My mother, on the other hand, is the most evil, hateful, hurtful, manipulative creature I have ever encountered. When she could no longer orchestrate physical abuse due to geography, she used emotional abuse on many levels. I broke ties with her, my sister still suffers her abuse as she isn't able to make the cut that I made. My mother has been awful to me and my kids and because of that has never met her great grandchildren and never will.

As for when you are responsible and you have to quit blaming your parents...I have to push the age up a bit I think. The last beating I took from dad, at mom's urging, I was in my mid 20s and it took place in front of my daughters. One of them sitting in her high chair watching me get slammed on the floor, my glasses broken and my eye blackened. My four year old was trying to protect me from her grandparents.

Yeah, I could write one hell of a nasty obituary and it would be well deserved. But I don't intend to be involved in her death in any fashion. I already said goodbye about 10 years ago.



(((( big hug )))
Heart

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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15-01-2014, 04:42 PM
RE: Nasty Obituary
Well, regarding an age limit to abuse - I don't think so. I listened to that interview and apparently that mother stalked anyone who may have become a mate for one of her kids and scared them off - on purpose.

I can see how that can be extremely aggravating whether you are 5 or 50. Mom continues to hold control, you don't get a mate - ever.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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