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23-09-2017, 11:59 AM
Need Advice
Hello everyone. I just wanted to say thanks again for all the support on here. I love his community and you all are a great group of people to talk to from big life decisions to little every day conversations. I'm truly thankful for all the responses.

Anyways, on my last post somebody brought up a good point. They suggested that not living with my parents would be good for me to find myself and it would make life more interesting. The reason behind this is that I'm being pulled emotionally all over the place by my parents religion(Christianity). I have a few options, but I don't know where to go or the best method to make my decision.

I'm currently taking online classes and helping the local high school boys basketball team right now. I have applied for a job at my local bank which I may not get until this winter or next summer. I have thought about going to my local community college for the next two years to save money, or at least go the first year. I have told my parents that I was at least going to the community college for a year, but with the way things have been going on at my house I'd like to go to a public university next semester. That's probably unlikely though.

In the next few weeks I'm going to start working with little kids on basketball skills maybe once a week for a small fee and my dad is trying to help me get that started so that way I could have a small business on the side one day(I'm a former basketball player at my local high school). So I can't decide if I just need to stay here and deal with it or what.

I've thought about leaving for public university because I want to find out who I am as a person and not have to deal with the religious influence of my parents as much. I would like to try new things. A few things holding me back is for one money. My family is struggling financially right now and I'm having to help with that. The other thing holding me back is my girlfriend. She is three years behind me in school, but we are both each other's first real relationship (14 months). I'm attached to her and love her, but sometimes I feel like she holds me back. She got mad at me for getting drunk one time and I can't do stuff with my friends without worrying about her finding out.

I just don't know what I need to do right now. I know that's a lot, but I'm stumped to be honest. Thanks guys.

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23-09-2017, 12:19 PM
RE: Need Advice
I think you need to spread your wings and go away from all of that. You can still try and maintain your rship with your gf even if you attend a public university, but I think a little distance from all of that in your current situation and more exposure to the outside world will be a good thing for you.

As far as funds for school, I would recommend talking to a financial aid adviser at whatever university you are interested in attending. They may be able to help you obtain loans or money for school. As far as helping your parents out financially, you can always work a part-time job and still go to school. To be considered a full-time student, you only need to take 4 classes. At least that's how it is in the US--I'm not sure where you are from?

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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23-09-2017, 12:30 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 12:19 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think you need to spread your wings and go away from all of that. You can still try and maintain your rship with your gf even if you attend a public university, but I think a little distance from all of that in your current situation and more exposure to the outside world will be a good thing for you.

As far as funds for school, I would recommend talking to a financial aid adviser at whatever university you are interested in attending. They may be able to help you obtain loans or money for school. As far as helping your parents out financially, you can always work a part-time job and still go to school. To be considered a full-time student, you only need to take 4 classes. At least that's how it is in the US--I'm not sure where you are from?
Thank you and I agree. I'm from Kentucky. I don't know if I should go next semester or next school year because I've commited to helping this basketball team and I said I was going to community college this year.
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23-09-2017, 01:01 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 12:30 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  
(23-09-2017 12:19 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think you need to spread your wings and go away from all of that. You can still try and maintain your rship with your gf even if you attend a public university, but I think a little distance from all of that in your current situation and more exposure to the outside world will be a good thing for you.

As far as funds for school, I would recommend talking to a financial aid adviser at whatever university you are interested in attending. They may be able to help you obtain loans or money for school. As far as helping your parents out financially, you can always work a part-time job and still go to school. To be considered a full-time student, you only need to take 4 classes. At least that's how it is in the US--I'm not sure where you are from?
Thank you and I agree. I'm from Kentucky. I don't know if I should go next semester or next school year because I've commited to helping this basketball team and I said I was going to community college this year.

You can always go to a community college and then transfer your credits to a 4 year school. That's really easy to do.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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23-09-2017, 01:04 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 12:30 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  
(23-09-2017 12:19 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think you need to spread your wings and go away from all of that. You can still try and maintain your rship with your gf even if you attend a public university, but I think a little distance from all of that in your current situation and more exposure to the outside world will be a good thing for you.

As far as funds for school, I would recommend talking to a financial aid adviser at whatever university you are interested in attending. They may be able to help you obtain loans or money for school. As far as helping your parents out financially, you can always work a part-time job and still go to school. To be considered a full-time student, you only need to take 4 classes. At least that's how it is in the US--I'm not sure where you are from?
Thank you and I agree. I'm from Kentucky. I don't know if I should go next semester or next school year because I've commited to helping this basketball team and I said I was going to community college this year.

Probably you should finish what you started with the basketball, so you can use it for references. That gives you time to arrange everything for uni.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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23-09-2017, 03:12 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 01:01 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(23-09-2017 12:30 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  Thank you and I agree. I'm from Kentucky. I don't know if I should go next semester or next school year because I've commited to helping this basketball team and I said I was going to community college this year.

You can always go to a community college and then transfer your credits to a 4 year school. That's really easy to do.

I will! I just have to see when the best time for me to leave is. Thank you!
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23-09-2017, 03:13 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 01:04 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(23-09-2017 12:30 PM)goldenarm Wrote:  Thank you and I agree. I'm from Kentucky. I don't know if I should go next semester or next school year because I've commited to helping this basketball team and I said I was going to community college this year.

Probably you should finish what you started with the basketball, so you can use it for references. That gives you time to arrange everything for uni.

You're right, I need to do that. I need to think of stuff to do to keep me occupied in the mean time. Thanks!
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23-09-2017, 03:58 PM
RE: Need Advice
Have you ever thought about the Peace Corp? If I had to do my life over again, at your age I would have definitely joined the peace corp. In fact, once all my kids are out of the house doing their thing, I will do something like that with the rest of my life. You're at a phase in life right now where you can take those kinds of chances with really no negative consequences.

Check out the Peace Corp. Great place for free thinkers.
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23-09-2017, 05:58 PM
RE: Need Advice
Did something happen to your basketball scholarship/private college deal? If so, I'm sorry that didn't work out.

I'd suggest you check out City Year. (https://www.cityyear.org/) It operates in a bunch of states, pays (modestly), and might be a good way for you to contribute while clarifying your thoughts about what you want to do. And because it does pay a bit, you might be able to afford to move out of your parents' house.

In terms of finding a college to attend, maybe your athletic skills could still be of financial use?
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23-09-2017, 08:03 PM
RE: Need Advice
(23-09-2017 03:58 PM)Gleeman Wrote:  Have you ever thought about the Peace Corp? If I had to do my life over again, at your age I would have definitely joined the peace corp. In fact, once all my kids are out of the house doing their thing, I will do something like that with the rest of my life. You're at a phase in life right now where you can take those kinds of chances with really no negative consequences.

Check out the Peace Corp. Great place for free thinkers.

No, and to be honest I haven't heard of it. I just did a little research though and it looks like they do some great stuff! Thank you. I will look into it.
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