Need Y'alls Help
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17-04-2014, 01:08 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
(17-04-2014 12:56 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Sounds like a good placement. You can visit daily and bring her the food she likes and spend an hour or three or four a day talking and just sitting around and watching TV. And maybe go out to lunch and dinner at your old haunts. I would want to make sure ManlyGirly didn't feel like I was kicking her to the curb.

Those things you mention sound romantic and all, but unfortunatly wont be happening. If she were in good enough shape to go out and eat or whatever, I wouldnt be placing her there. Talking doesnt go far either... she's just to far gone with the dementia. Confused

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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17-04-2014, 01:32 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
(17-04-2014 01:08 PM)War Horse Wrote:  
(17-04-2014 12:56 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Sounds like a good placement. You can visit daily and bring her the food she likes and spend an hour or three or four a day talking and just sitting around and watching TV. And maybe go out to lunch and dinner at your old haunts. I would want to make sure ManlyGirly didn't feel like I was kicking her to the curb.

Those things you mention sound romantic and all, but unfortunatly wont be happening. If she were in good enough shape to go out and eat or whatever, I wouldnt be placing her there. Talking doesnt go far either... she's just to far gone with the dementia. Confused

That sucks. I watched a friend and colleague descend quickly into dementia over the course of a year at a relatively young age (53 yo). Not only did it make me sad, it scared the shit outta me.

#sigh
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24-04-2014, 02:07 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help, UPDATE
Well, its done, I just got back from taking the wife to the care facility Undecided

Jeez, please when I get to that stage in life, somebody put a bullet in my head please.... I mean, the place is OK an all, BUT, fuck me its depressing and cramped... old people lining the halls in their wheelchairs looking very sad. Sad

This sucks, I feel so guilty doing this, tho I know that it was the right thing to do. Even with the nurses in here 24-7 we couldnt manage to watch her every move, and shes fallen almost every night.

This shit is gonna haunt me for some time... I just wish she would die and not have to be there.

The people did seem very nice, but that doesnt mean their competent or caring. The proof was in all the nurses we had in here, maybe around 20 different ones, and only 3 gave a shit, and I even have a story to tell about one religitard nurse that damn near screamed rape when I tapped her on the shoulder.... she left religious material here when I kicked her out ...... BITCH ! Angry

I may have a better outlook on everything once I decompress a bit from the past years stress...... who knows.

Time to pop some beers and get rid of this knot in my stomach.

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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24-04-2014, 02:13 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
Lots of hugs to you War Horse.

You have been through a lot.

You mention the other night of a fall in bathroom just shows that things are getting worse and worse. You can't care for your wife around the clock.

Take some time and relax and know that you have been doing the best you can and that this decision was not made lightly.

Much love.

Angie

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-04-2014, 02:23 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
Hi War Horse.

You may have read what I posted about my life in my illness thread. That is just part of the story. Later I returned to give my dying mother 24/7 care. All whilst trying to live my own life.

My mother died. She was beyond my untrained help.

It went on for years.

In the end I left after she had been hospitalised for another reason. I made it impossible for her to return.

At the time I knew that the negativity was killing me. If ever I was to make a go with my life, I had to leave. I do not regret it. I could not save her. No matter how hard I tried.

It seems to me War Horse, you are in a similar boat. You are unable, because you are not qualified, to help your wife. Add to this the fact you are too close to this situation.

They do not allow surgeons to operate on loved ones. For good reason.

I understand the feelings of guilt. Mate, I get it. You feel like a right bastard. But you are not. Were you that bastard, well, you would not care so much.

You have done the right thing. Not the easy thing.

I daresay your wife knows it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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24-04-2014, 02:26 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
Sending you hugs, if you lived closer I would send you some beer too.

You have been thru so much shit emotionally and physically, give yourself time to get it sorted.

Heart and Hug


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-04-2014, 02:41 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
Sounds like a really tough day, sorry you had to go through this stuff. I really have no words of advice, just a bro-hug.
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24-04-2014, 03:15 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
(15-04-2014 01:21 PM)War Horse Wrote:  @ Anj and Hobbit, I've looked into some around here and basically it comes down to who will accept Medicaid co-pay.

I dont mean to sound cold about the whole thing, but over 2 years of this on my back has taken its toll. I cant do it anymore, plus she's deteriorated so badly that doing anything is impossible for her, and when she tries, it turns into a holy mess...that befalls on me yet again to make right.

I cant go on this way, my own thinking process is going to hell , I cant get a good nights sleep and I'm constantly stressed to the max. Its time to do something drastic.

Does Medicaid pay for respite care? For you to get a day or two to yourself?

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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24-04-2014, 03:17 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
(24-04-2014 03:15 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(15-04-2014 01:21 PM)War Horse Wrote:  @ Anj and Hobbit, I've looked into some around here and basically it comes down to who will accept Medicaid co-pay.

I dont mean to sound cold about the whole thing, but over 2 years of this on my back has taken its toll. I cant do it anymore, plus she's deteriorated so badly that doing anything is impossible for her, and when she tries, it turns into a holy mess...that befalls on me yet again to make right.

I cant go on this way, my own thinking process is going to hell , I cant get a good nights sleep and I'm constantly stressed to the max. Its time to do something drastic.

Does Medicaid pay for respite care? For you to get a day or two to yourself?

Check #43.

Your suggestion was already done, War Horse's wife is now in a care facility.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-04-2014, 03:19 PM
RE: Need Y'alls Help
Give yourself time. You did what you needed to do.

Enjoy the fresh air. Smile
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