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01-09-2015, 11:27 AM
Need advice
So, as some of you may know I'm already just an emotional wreck lately. My anxiety and depression are through the roof, not doing so well with it at the moment.

Add to that I'm having a really hard time at work. I've been in a new position for over a year now, and I'm just not getting it. No matter how hard I try I can't do anything right, and I'm just miserable. My previous manger has mentioned on several occasions she wishes she could have me back (hopefully that's serious), and I really want to do it.

The problem is even when my anxiety and depression aren't through the roof I do not handle confrontation well. Moving back will be a huge disruption for the department I'm in. And my supervisor will not be happy. I'm already hiding in the bathroom in tears several times a day, and anytime I consider bringing up the topic, and how much I'm struggling I start tearing up again. No way do I want to have this conversation while crying.

Is it too cowardly to e-mail my supervisor about it while I'm on vacation? I have several days coming up soon. Or do I need to just bite the bullet and let it be a messy conversation?

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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01-09-2015, 11:31 AM
RE: Need advice
I know it's probably going to be uncomfortable for you, but I think conversations like this are better to have face to face. But, before you say anything to your current supervisor--are you sure you will have a position available in your previous department?
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01-09-2015, 11:34 AM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 11:31 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I know it's probably going to be uncomfortable for you, but I think conversations like this are better to have face to face. But, before you say anything to your current supervisor--are you sure you will have a position available in your previous department?

I don't know, and at this point I don't care. I've been dumb and let this go too long, and I'm close to my breaking point.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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01-09-2015, 11:34 AM
RE: Need advice
I dunno what advice I can give. I also hate confrontation and will avoid it if at all possible. That being said, I will build up the confrontation in my mind to a point that the real thing almost is never as bad. Hug

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01-09-2015, 11:35 AM
RE: Need advice
Maybe you could ask your previous manager if she is in fact serious about wanting you back? If so, let her know it would be ok with you if she asked your current manager to let you come back.
Maybe they could hammer out some of the details without too much fuss.
Kinda like a sports trade. Big Grin
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01-09-2015, 11:42 AM
RE: Need advice
HugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHug


I second pablo's idea but if that won't work then just try your best to build up confidence and have the conversation, you never know, the outcome may be in your favor. Trust me I know it's hard because I go through the exact same thing but you're Smerc, if anyone can do it it's you Smile Thumbsup

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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01-09-2015, 11:51 AM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 11:34 AM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 11:31 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I know it's probably going to be uncomfortable for you, but I think conversations like this are better to have face to face. But, before you say anything to your current supervisor--are you sure you will have a position available in your previous department?

I don't know, and at this point I don't care. I've been dumb and let this go too long, and I'm close to my breaking point.

If you don't want to have a whole drawn out convo and you are planning on leaving anyway--you could just write up a resignation letter and hand it to him/her in person and that way it would limit drawn out interaction. This way you have left things on a professional level and can use that person as a reference later on if need be.
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01-09-2015, 11:51 AM
RE: Need advice
I agree with the advice to talk to your previous manager first, then to your current manager, in person. It might help to make a few notes of the things you want to say so that your thoughts are organized. Maybe something along the lines of you feeling that you were a better asset to your company in your old position, that you just aren't fitting as well into the new position as you'd hoped…

I hate confrontation, too, and I'm sorry you're feeling so pressured.
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01-09-2015, 11:55 AM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 11:51 AM)julep Wrote:  I agree with the advice to talk to your previous manager first, then to your current manager, in person. It might help to make a few notes of the things you want to say so that your thoughts are organized. Maybe something along the lines of you feeling that you were a better asset to your company in your old position, that you just aren't fitting as well into the new position as you'd hoped…

I hate confrontation, too, and I'm sorry you're feeling so pressured.

Right, always better to leave things on a good note. Thumbsup
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01-09-2015, 11:57 AM
RE: Need advice
Arrange the jump first, and have the conversation in person, difficult as that may be. If you do so, make sure you rehearse the conversation in your head, gaming all the possible responses, so that you have an outline in your head you can fall back on when you get to feeling quavery.

Sure am sorry to see you this unhappy, Merc. Hug
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