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01-09-2015, 12:04 PM
RE: Need advice
Does your current manager know about your struggles?

As a manager, I would have no problem with an employee broaching a difficult subject in writing as long as there is an opportunity to follow-up.

If you struggle with starting the conversation with your current manager, I think it is perfectly fine to write a letter outlining where you are. It should be printed out and delivered to them in an envelope. You could put it on their desk or mail it. Either way, a physical letter indicates you are taking the subject seriously, and not just firing off an email in a moment of emotion. I would keep the letter focused only on what you feel are the things that are keeping you from being a happy and productive employee. Then finish by requesting a meeting to talk with them about it further. Do NOT suggest a transfer back to your old position in your letter.

This gives them the opportunity to consider what you have said and have an idea of how to help you when do sit down to talk. Who knows, they may even recommend the transfer themselves. However, definitely talk to your previous manager before leaving the old one.

Just my opinion.

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01-09-2015, 12:34 PM
RE: Need advice
I don't think that a tearful conversation is better than an e-mail - at all. Th e-mail is totally preferable here.

Besides it allows you to collect your thoughts, write it, let it sit a day, refine it etc. And it gives the recipient time to think it through.

I would start though by emailing your old boss and just plain ask if she meant it when she said she wishes you were back. Then I'd tackle the current boss.

As employer, I always preferred things in writing as that way I could think about it when I had time. The outcome was usually much better when I wasn't harried.

Doing things in person is often important in interpersonal relations, but not necessarily the best choice in business.

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01-09-2015, 03:28 PM
RE: Need advice
Thanks for all the advice everyone Hug the thing that makes it even trickier is that my supervisor isn't the one who would make the final decision about a move. It would be more of a heads up that I want to go to my actual boss and ask for one. Plus we share an office. If I went directly to our boss first I think this person would be really upset with me. Plus all of management is really close, so if I talk to my previous boss first it won't stay between us if switching isn't a possibility.

Ugh, I'm just such a mess right now, and this added stress is starting to affect my health.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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01-09-2015, 03:39 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 11:35 AM)pablo Wrote:  Maybe you could ask your previous manager if she is in fact serious about wanting you back? If so, let her know it would be ok with you if she asked your current manager to let you come back.
Maybe they could hammer out some of the details without too much fuss.
Kinda like a sports trade. Big Grin

I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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01-09-2015, 03:44 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 03:39 PM)Banjo Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 11:35 AM)pablo Wrote:  Maybe you could ask your previous manager if she is in fact serious about wanting you back? If so, let her know it would be ok with you if she asked your current manager to let you come back.
Maybe they could hammer out some of the details without too much fuss.
Kinda like a sports trade. Big Grin

I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

This is true. I keep trying to tell myself. It's just a job. If I just suck it up and say something it might get better. It's not my fault if this wasn't a good fit, and it's not my job to make sure the positions are filled correctly. Then the other part of me lays on the guilt trip of how I'll be leaving the department completely high and dry, burning bridges, and pissing people off. I'm going to try and take my vacation to really reflect on everything and try to work my courage up to this. Even the thought of a letter or e-mail is making me throw up from anxiety. Confused

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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01-09-2015, 03:52 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 03:44 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 03:39 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

This is true. I keep trying to tell myself. It's just a job. If I just suck it up and say something it might get better. It's not my fault if this wasn't a good fit, and it's not my job to make sure the positions are filled correctly. Then the other part of me lays on the guilt trip of how I'll be leaving the department completely high and dry, burning bridges, and pissing people off. I'm going to try and take my vacation to really reflect on everything and try to work my courage up to this. Even the thought of a letter or e-mail is making me throw up from anxiety. Confused

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01-09-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 03:44 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 03:39 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

This is true. I keep trying to tell myself. It's just a job. If I just suck it up and say something it might get better. It's not my fault if this wasn't a good fit, and it's not my job to make sure the positions are filled correctly. Then the other part of me lays on the guilt trip of how I'll be leaving the department completely high and dry, burning bridges, and pissing people off. I'm going to try and take my vacation to really reflect on everything and try to work my courage up to this. Even the thought of a letter or e-mail is making me throw up from anxiety. Confused

People leave places all the time. In the end, you have to do what's best for you. Don't feel guilty, there is no reason to. Just handle it professionally and everything will be fine. Smile

It is perfectly fine to say something is not a good fit for you. You can mention that you feel that your strengths lie with the other position you were working in and feel you can best contribute to the company that way. You can also offer to help train your replacement.

This really won't be so bad if you handle it professionally. You might even impress them with your desire to go the extra mile, despite the job not being the best fit for you. I know it's hard, but try not to let the anxiety get the best of you. Hug

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01-09-2015, 04:00 PM
RE: Need advice
Is there a reason why you think that the conversation between you and the supervisor might get ugly in any way?
If you share an office he must have noticed that you are unhappy, no matter how good you think you hide it . To me it sounds reasonable that he will understand, if he's not a complete dick.
Even if that means some disruption in the department.

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01-09-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 03:44 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 03:39 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

This is true. I keep trying to tell myself. It's just a job. If I just suck it up and say something it might get better. It's not my fault if this wasn't a good fit, and it's not my job to make sure the positions are filled correctly. Then the other part of me lays on the guilt trip of how I'll be leaving the department completely high and dry, burning bridges, and pissing people off. I'm going to try and take my vacation to really reflect on everything and try to work my courage up to this. Even the thought of a letter or e-mail is making me throw up from anxiety. Confused

If you act professionally, you wont burn bridges. Managers deal with this type of thing all the time.

Imagine if you got sick, they'd have to deal with it. It is you who is making this a bigger deal than it is.

Dom's advice is also good. As is Turkey Burner. Talk to your old boss. Tell her you prefer that department. Get the response and go from there.

Oh and guilt is for Catholics. Let it go. Wink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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01-09-2015, 04:05 PM
RE: Need advice
(01-09-2015 03:44 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(01-09-2015 03:39 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I agree with Pablo.

This is just work. The company will deal with a staff move. Smile

This is true. I keep trying to tell myself. It's just a job. If I just suck it up and say something it might get better. It's not my fault if this wasn't a good fit, and it's not my job to make sure the positions are filled correctly. Then the other part of me lays on the guilt trip of how I'll be leaving the department completely high and dry, burning bridges, and pissing people off. I'm going to try and take my vacation to really reflect on everything and try to work my courage up to this. Even the thought of a letter or e-mail is making me throw up from anxiety. Confused

Ultimately, it is management's responsibility to have the right people in the right jobs. It is to the benefit of the company to do so. If they are unaware of your situation, they can't make the best decision.

It could be that they work out a transition where you do not leave your current group "high-and-dry" but make the move back after they have a chance to back-fill you. Also, like you said, it is management's responsibility to handle turn-over. I have to fill jobs all the time. Sometimes I have to back-fill really good people who loved their job, but simply had a better opportunity. I have even encouraged people to bid on jobs out of my department when I know it is something that will be a good career move for them.
All I ever ask for is a little bit of a head's up so I can get a plan together, but even that is a luxury that I am not guaranteed.

If I knew that a new employee hated their job and wanted to move back to their old group, I would do everything I could to facilitate that. I would much rather do that and hire someone that wanted to be there. Everybody wins! If, for some reason I could not make it happen, I would do everything I could to help the employee with training, schedule, or whatever to improve their situation until we could find them a spot that works for them long-term. Any decent manager would do the same.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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