Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
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16-01-2012, 04:26 PM
Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
A few months ago my cousin and his dad (Uncle Chuck) got evicted from their apartment because my uncle is an unemployed drunk and my cousin (Shane) wasn't making enough money to pay every bill. Uncle Chuck went to live with his parents (Grandma and PawPaw) and I offered for Shane to come stay with me for a while. I was expecting it to be 2 or 3 weeks and now it's in it's 3rd month. He installs floors for a living but since the holidays started he hasn't been working. His boss, Eric, is an avid hunter to pretty much slacks off on the holidays so he can spend his time in the woods hunting. Not to mention most construction jobs come to halt anywah around the new year. So now I'm broke and running out of food and he's just sitting at home all day. What makes things worse is that a month ago his truck was impounded for driving under a suspended license and without proof of insurance (long story). So we get the truck out of impound and now it's parked at my apartment. He has no plate now so he can't drive his truck. He's got thousands of dollars in court fees/fines that he has to pay to get his license back and be legal to drive again. His presense is really starting to put a strain on my family. Not just financially but emotionally. My wife is pissed becasue she didn't want him to stay this long but what can I do. He's here now and I can't just kick him out on the street with no home and no vehicle. His mom already has his sister living at her house with her 2 kids so no room there and his dad is at Grandma's house. She let me die before letting me stay there so I know she won't let him stay. What the hell should I do?

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16-01-2012, 04:49 PM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
(16-01-2012 04:26 PM)germanyt Wrote:  A few months ago my cousin and his dad (Uncle Chuck) got evicted from their apartment because my uncle is an unemployed drunk and my cousin (Shane) wasn't making enough money to pay every bill. Uncle Chuck went to live with his parents (Grandma and PawPaw) and I offered for Shane to come stay with me for a while. I was expecting it to be 2 or 3 weeks and now it's in it's 3rd month. He installs floors for a living but since the holidays started he hasn't been working. His boss, Eric, is an avid hunter to pretty much slacks off on the holidays so he can spend his time in the woods hunting. Not to mention most construction jobs come to halt anywah around the new year. So now I'm broke and running out of food and he's just sitting at home all day. What makes things worse is that a month ago his truck was impounded for driving under a suspended license and without proof of insurance (long story). So we get the truck out of impound and now it's parked at my apartment. He has no plate now so he can't drive his truck. He's got thousands of dollars in court fees/fines that he has to pay to get his license back and be legal to drive again. His presense is really starting to put a strain on my family. Not just financially but emotionally. My wife is pissed becasue she didn't want him to stay this long but what can I do. He's here now and I can't just kick him out on the street with no home and no vehicle. His mom already has his sister living at her house with her 2 kids so no room there and his dad is at Grandma's house. She let me die before letting me stay there so I know she won't let him stay. What the hell should I do?

Ouch - that's a problem.

I would suggest talking it over with the family. Your immediate family's welfare comes in ahead of your cousin's.

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16-01-2012, 04:50 PM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
(16-01-2012 04:26 PM)germanyt Wrote:  He's here now and I can't just kick him out on the street with no home and no vehicle.

Having been through this, it might already be worse than that. Depending on LA law he may have already been there long enough to establish residency (it's 90 days in MD) meaning you can't evict him without proper legal notice. You might want to check on this ASAP if he's in his third month there.

(16-01-2012 04:26 PM)germanyt Wrote:  What the hell should I do?

Tough call being family and all. But in my experience the longer he stays the less grateful and more entitled he will feel. And through no fault of his own, this just seems to be unchecked human nature from my experience. I'd nip this in the bud before it develops into something really nasty.

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16-01-2012, 04:51 PM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
(16-01-2012 04:26 PM)germanyt Wrote:  A few months ago my cousin and his dad (Uncle Chuck) got evicted from their apartment because my uncle is an unemployed drunk and my cousin (Shane) wasn't making enough money to pay every bill......

This is a issue indeed. First off, he may need to find another career. Maybe suggest other options for jobs. Even flipping burgers, yes I know it sucks but what else is there at the moment. Gas stations usually need people. Maybe he needs to get his ass into a community college possibly applying for a grant for assisted funding.

As for the large sum of fees, well unless you guys have the money to pay for it, I'd suggest paying for the fines the hard way or partially. This is truly a sucky way to do it but some of my friends in other states said screw paying fees and spent time in county/parish jail to pay off fines. He could possibly work off some of the fines through volunteer work cleaning up roadways or something. Discussing this with the local DA or court system. Someone else might have better options but this is all I can come up with.

It's truly a tough situation because it would truly be difficult to suggest such a thing to a friend much less a family member. This of course depends if all options are up. As for as living arrangements, you may want to inform him that his stay is hurting you guys and he's going to have to find his own way or assist more so. Even slacking off electricity use and maybe curb his eating habits a little (within healthy portions of course). Sometimes honesty hurts but in my opinion it is necessary when your family is suffering.

Hopefully my ideas possibly give you other ideas, because I don't even like everything I'm saying.

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16-01-2012, 05:14 PM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
(16-01-2012 04:50 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Having been through this, it might already be worse than that. Depending on LA law he may have already been there long enough to establish residency (it's 90 days in MD) meaning you can't evict him without proper legal notice. You might want to check on this ASAP if he's in his third month there.

Well I'm technically violating my own lease agreement by allowing him to stay so I doubt he has any legal ground to stand on. Not that it's come to that or would.


It just sucks. I want to help him but can't go down the drain with him. Maybe I should talk to his mom (Aunt Dee). She and I are very close and perhaps she'll have an idea.

If I wasn't such a good and charitable Christian I wouldn't have gotten myself into this mess. Should have just been a heartless atheist and left him out in the cold.






























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16-01-2012, 05:28 PM (This post was last modified: 17-01-2012 06:30 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
(16-01-2012 05:14 PM)germanyt Wrote:  Well I'm technically violating my own lease agreement by allowing him to stay so I doubt he has any legal ground to stand on.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Might just mean he's now your landlord's problem instead of yours. Which means you might quickly become persona non grata to your landlord.

(16-01-2012 05:14 PM)germanyt Wrote:  Maybe I should talk to his mom (Aunt Dee). She and I are very close and perhaps she'll have an idea.

Good idea.

(16-01-2012 05:14 PM)germanyt Wrote:  If I wasn't such a good and charitable Christian I wouldn't have gotten myself into this mess. Should have just been a heartless atheist and left him out in the cold.

Atheism never stopped this heartless bastard from taking in various vagrant family and friends over the years. But I had the room for them. ... Oops, my bad I missed the tongue in your cheek. Wink

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17-01-2012, 08:19 AM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
I had a friend who was in a similar situation with a cousin or something. I solved the problem for him. I went over to his house at 6am. I went into the spare room where the human slug was sleeping. I had an air horn with me. I use said air horn. Of course the slug jumps out of bed and freaks out. I hand him his cloths and a resume template. I tell him "Hi I'm a large angry guy that will wreck your shit unless you're dressed and out of this house in 20 minutes. Go shower and get out. Also I'm going to be here all day so if you return without a job interview set up.......Well.....I hope you like hospitals. NOW MOVE!" Scared the living hell out of that guy. You know what happened? He now has his own apartment. Not right away of course but it worked.

What you need to do is tell him to get a job aside form the one that isn't making money. Your house, your rules. If you keep being soft on him then nothing will come of it. Tell him to go find a job and start paying for stuff. Not overtly difficult.
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17-01-2012, 09:04 AM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
A couple days on the streets can be extremely motivating.


Just sayin'

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17-01-2012, 09:12 AM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
First I need to know if you have any industrial grade garbage bags? Also a boat? Also a shit ton of sandwich wrap.... And a surgical saw....
If so you're in luck... Murder is now an option.


Sorry I've been watching a lot of dexter lately. I love that show.

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17-01-2012, 08:14 PM
RE: Need advice on what to do about my broke cousin who is living with me.
Boot 'im.

I've been on the streets in many places; my place on Greenway and 19th is prolly still available - which is me smiling cause that place was hooked up - but it's already a problem and there doesn't seem the potential for a collective (where the people unify over a place) you got a life going on.

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