Need help educating my teen about sex
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02-02-2014, 01:07 PM
Need help educating my teen about sex
I was raised Mormon and have no idea how to educate my 13 year son about sex. Is there a book you could recommend or some advice you could give ? Any help would be appreciated !
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02-02-2014, 01:39 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
I don't have any books to recommend, but I do have a bit of advice. Answer any questions honestly, leave shame out of the equation. I see exploring ones sexuality as sooo important to being a healthy functioning adult. Don't consider just "having the talk", feel free to discuss and talk casually when you see sexual situations around you (tv, movies, a new boyfriend/girlfriend in his life etc).

Being open, honest, and non-judgmental will hopefully make him feel comfortable discussing the topics with you. Not an easy trick with teens, as I'm sure you know Wink

Have you noticed him starting to have an interest lately?

I think you'll do a great job! I hope others have some book recommendations for you.
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Emily
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02-02-2014, 01:44 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
We can't say much. Every kid is different.
And we don't know what kind of values you'd want to impress.

I'd tell him 'Don't be a dick'.

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02-02-2014, 01:47 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
(02-02-2014 01:39 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  I don't have any books to recommend, but I do have a bit of advice. Answer any questions honestly, leave shame out of the equation. I see exploring ones sexuality as sooo important to being a healthy functioning adult. Don't consider just "having the talk", feel free to discuss and talk casually when you see sexual situations around you (tv, movies, a new boyfriend/girlfriend in his life etc).

Being open, honest, and non-judgmental will hopefully make him feel comfortable discussing the topics with you. Not an easy trick with teens, as I'm sure you know Wink

Have you noticed him starting to have an interest lately?

I think you'll do a great job! I hope others have some book recommendations for you.
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Emily

I completely agree with this, but that being said, we can't really tell you how to approach your child because you know your child best.

Choose a comfortable environment and go from there.
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02-02-2014, 01:48 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
The biggest thing to remember is not to lie~just be honest and answer any questions he has. If you try to scare him or lie about anything and he has sex and realizes you were full of shit, nothing you said even matters...just tell him of the risks and EDUCATE him rather than SCARE him.

~Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.~
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02-02-2014, 02:10 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Check this channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/sexplanations

The topics she covers may be too much for your son, but in several videos she recommends books and stuff and I think she's really knowledgeable so I'd take her advice on source material Smile

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02-02-2014, 02:43 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Well I never got the talk and I feel it disadvantaged me. I was always nervous about talking about sex and my parents were strict about it. If I were you, just be cool and open about it and don't act embarrassed.

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." - Henry David Thoreau
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02-02-2014, 03:35 PM (This post was last modified: 02-02-2014 03:50 PM by Noelani.)
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Do you have other younger children? You should start talking with them about sex a lot earlier and of course with age appropriate answers. If they are asking the questions, they are ready for the answers. Since your son is 13 it might take a while and some work until you both are feeling comfortable talking about sex.
Practice your poker face, but above all keep in mind that as a parent it is your job to teach your children about life, and that includes sex. Let your son know that you will always be there to answer his questions honestly and judgement free. Conversations about sex will become more comfortable for both of you if you make it a continuous conversation.
Encourage him to consider things like *how will he know when he is ready for sexual activity? *how will he know when the other person is ready for sexual activity? *how does he plan on talking about sex with his partner? *how does he feel about casual sex? *how will he prepare to protect himself and others against STDs and pregnancies? *how will he know if he loves someone (read up about the love chemicals produced by our brains, prepare him for how they can cloud judgement)? *how, or does, love fit in with having sex with someone? *how will he know if he is being treated fairly and respectfully in a relationship? *does he think being in committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationships or casual dating is the way to go for while he is in middle/high school? All of these questions will be different for everyone, there is no right or wrong answer.
Thinking about these things and knowing where you stand and how you will respond will help when/if the situation presents itself.

Do you have a close friend(s) or family member(s) that you would trust to give him guidance in your stead? If you're not around or if he doesn't feel comfortable coming to you he would at least have a trusted adult to go to. Let him know that while he might be hearing a lot of things from his friends, they don't know everything and it never hurts to talk things over with someone who has been through it already.

Read through some book reviews on Amazon to help pick a book that you like. Psychology today, the mayo clinic, etc. might be some good resources.
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02-02-2014, 03:43 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Noelani Bowing awesome answer!
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02-02-2014, 04:56 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
(02-02-2014 03:35 PM)Noelani Wrote:  Do you have other younger children? You should start talking with them about sex a lot earlier and of course with age appropriate answers. If they are asking the questions, they are ready for the answers. Since your son is 13 it might take a while and some work until you both are feeling comfortable talking about sex.
Practice your poker face, but above all keep in mind that as a parent it is your job to teach your children about life, and that includes sex. Let your son know that you will always be there to answer his questions honestly and judgement free. Conversations about sex will become more comfortable for both of you if you make it a continuous conversation.
Encourage him to consider things like *how will he know when he is ready for sexual activity? *how will he know when the other person is ready for sexual activity? *how does he plan on talking about sex with his partner? *how does he feel about casual sex? *how will he prepare to protect himself and others against STDs and pregnancies? *how will he know if he loves someone (read up about the love chemicals produced by our brains, prepare him for how they can cloud judgement)? *how, or does, love fit in with having sex with someone? *how will he know if he is being treated fairly and respectfully in a relationship? *does he think being in committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationships or casual dating is the way to go for while he is in middle/high school? All of these questions will be different for everyone, there is no right or wrong answer.
Thinking about these things and knowing where you stand and how you will respond will help when/if the situation presents itself.

Do you have a close friend(s) or family member(s) that you would trust to give him guidance in your stead? If you're not around or if he doesn't feel comfortable coming to you he would at least have a trusted adult to go to. Let him know that while he might be hearing a lot of things from his friends, they don't know everything and it never hurts to talk things over with someone who has been through it already.

Read through some book reviews on Amazon to help pick a book that you like. Psychology today, the mayo clinic, etc. might be some good resources.

Great advice!

I don't ever recall getting the talk. The only knowledge about sex that I remember from when I was a teenager was stumbling across my step-fathers porn stash.
Still waiting for two hot women to approach me on the street and want a three way!

Onward, my faithful steed!
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