Need help educating my teen about sex
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02-02-2014, 05:39 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
(02-02-2014 01:07 PM)Superzero Wrote:  I was raised Mormon and have no idea how to educate my 13 year son about sex. Is there a book you could recommend or some advice you could give ? Any help would be appreciated !

Honestly they way my parents raised me(even though they are christian they did manage to raise me to think for myself sometimes) to also be open about everything. I say let him know as much as a child should especially about safe sex and the consequences of not being safe. Not to scare them but to let them know what is out there. Knowledge is the best because lets be honest, they're going to do it you can't control that but you can let them know how to be a responsible person about it. It makes a world of difference knowing that you can actually talk to your parents about something so awkward at times.

So in a nutshell tell them as much as you see applicable about the actual act but I would definitely touch on the subject of safe sex and contraception.
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02-02-2014, 05:45 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Ask your child questions about what they already know or think they know.
Go from there and be honest.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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02-02-2014, 05:55 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
My talks came from priests and nuns. Not terribly helpful in a real world kind of way.

I do remember the guys were told to hit themselves with a pencil if they became aroused. They were even given pencils to carry around for that purpose.

I am sure there are some good books out there, check Amazon and read the reviews.

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02-02-2014, 06:05 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
The latest TTA podcast actually deals with this exact topic quite a bit. I'd suggest a listen.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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02-02-2014, 07:19 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
The Art of Erotic Kissing by Ian Kerner

She Comes First by Peter Spalton
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03-02-2014, 11:20 AM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
I've always found it very difficult to talk about sex with my parents.

I got "the talk" at about 8 or 9 years old, and I've never once spoken to them about it since. I've always felt deeply ashamed of being a normal human, with normal urges... Almost as if I'll be laughed at.

What I'd give to be far away from everyone I know, so I could just be myself and freely go out with girls, without worrying what my parents think.

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03-02-2014, 11:34 AM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
Our girls would get embarrassed at times. i think that's pretty normal when it comes to discussing sex with your own parents. I had good friends and neighbors I trusted to help answer questions. Sometimes talking to someone who's Not your parent can help.

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03-02-2014, 11:36 AM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
My daughter and I have never had a problem talking about sex. Since she asked her very first question relating to sex, I've always been frank and honest with her. I've also always made it clear that I don't have all the answers. Most things, aside from the technical stuff, are things you need to figure out. I'm always open to HELPING my daughter figure things out when it comes to sex. We figured out, together, that she isn,t ready for it yet, and we are both equally comfortable with the idea that tomorrow she may be.

Let your kids know that sex is great. It feels awesome. Sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, and hopefully, most of the time both. It has risks. When risks like those are involved, a person needs to make mature decisions. It's not scary. And it shouldn't be uncomfortable to talk about. If it is, well, fake it. You're the parent, so even if you're uncomfortable, fake it for the sake of your kids. Besides, you'll quickly become comfortable, because you've given yourself no other choice. Win win.

My last piece of advice is this: Let go of the idea that it is your parental responsibility to prevent your child from having sex. Help them make informed decisions, and they will have sex when the time is right for them. Regardless of how ready you are.

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03-02-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
I have girls that age. We have been talking to them about how the body works since they were young. Never in any graphic detail and never more that we felt they could digest at whatever age they were at the time. Now that they are older there is no icky stuff to talk about so we cover the emotional and medical sides.

Start where you are comfortable, but start now. We as parents can hope they put it off until marriage, but that is not realistic. Much better to have them enter adoleces with information so that when they are being dumb they are not being stupid.
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03-02-2014, 01:01 PM
RE: Need help educating my teen about sex
For what it's worth: If your teen has friends, then he already knows everything that would come from "the talk" in its 1950s wedding night's eve connotation.

Instead of "the talk," it should be you telling him you trust him and that he can always talk to you about anything. Let him know there are no stupid questions and there is nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to this subject, that he can feel free to ask you anything. Also tell him the things he may already know might be glorified tales and ignorance, so he should feel free to ask you about what he already knows.

I didn't get the talk, as pay cable and older cousins took care of that for me, but I did have a mom who would listen and answer anything I wanted to know. And that made all the difference.

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