Never a good day anymore
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14-07-2015, 02:33 PM
Never a good day anymore
I've been aware I'm atheist (not sure how to word that) for a few years now. Before that, I was... Something like a deist or pantheist, so just haven't been religious in a reality long time.

Yes, very limited funds. And the support groups here are all in churches, as are all but one psych clinic.

I know it sounds like I'm just tossing aside your ideas. I'm not. I've tried many times, so I don't mean to be so opposing.
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14-07-2015, 02:35 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
Clockwork, I'm so very sorry you're going through this. Depression is just awful to deal with. I also understand what you mean about shit jobs.

Sending major hugs your way.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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14-07-2015, 02:42 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
(14-07-2015 02:33 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  I've been aware I'm atheist (not sure how to word that) for a few years now. Before that, I was... Something like a deist or pantheist, so just haven't been religious in a reality long time.

Yes, very limited funds. And the support groups here are all in churches, as are all but one psych clinic.

I know it sounds like I'm just tossing aside your ideas. I'm not. I've tried many times, so I don't mean to be so opposing.

What about finding an online support group? The psych clinic support group sounds like it could have some possibilities.

It's okay, I don't find you opposing Tongue
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14-07-2015, 02:58 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
(14-07-2015 02:42 PM)jennybee Wrote:  What about finding an online support group? The psych clinic support group sounds like it could have some possibilities.

It's okay, I don't find you opposing Tongue

I tried once. No kidding, was on hold for over an hour and they never replied.

The psych clinic here requires insurance.
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14-07-2015, 03:02 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
(14-07-2015 02:58 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  
(14-07-2015 02:42 PM)jennybee Wrote:  What about finding an online support group? The psych clinic support group sounds like it could have some possibilities.

It's okay, I don't find you opposing Tongue

I tried once. No kidding, was on hold for over an hour and they never replied.

The psych clinic here requires insurance.

That sucks. Did you check out the NAMI thing I sent you?
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14-07-2015, 03:17 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
(14-07-2015 03:02 PM)jennybee Wrote:  That sucks. Did you check out the NAMI thing I sent you?
Reading it now. Not reading the parts about medication, only because I just don't want them anymore.
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14-07-2015, 04:33 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
Have you tried running? I mean like just getting out and running until it hurts and then running some more. It may sound stupid but there was a time when I was going through some serious depression and one day I just said F' it I am out of here. I went out the door and just kick my own butt running until I fell down. I think it was almost like punishing myself for some reason. I started doing it every time I was able to when I felt like crap. I would literally go run for hours. No music or anything. Nothing but me. I ranted and cursed at the thoughts in my head that I hated. I replayed conversations with people that didn't go like I wanted and instead imagined myself saying all the things I wanted to say. The funny thing was I started looking forward to these escapes from life. It helped me refocus and put the crap behind me.

There is a really good book that I read a few years after I had started running called The Memory of Running, by Ron McClarty. Good book. Has nothing to do with running.

Anyway, go kick life's ass.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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14-07-2015, 04:35 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
It might sound all holistic-y and shit--but yoga and meditation can also help.
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14-07-2015, 04:56 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
I hate to hear you say you want to go to sleep and not wake up. Have you tried any hotlines? They may know of some resources to help someone in your position.

What's something you do find enjoyment in? It can be simple - favorite music or a treat of some sort. Do you read or have other hobbies? Standup comedy can help at least put a smile on your face for a moment...shows that you can find on the web maybe. Anything that will divert your attention from the negative for a while.

I don't know what kinds of meds you have been on but I also hate to be on meds forever. I am on and off my Lexapro frequently.

What can we maybe do to help?

Talk to us...we care. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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14-07-2015, 05:39 PM
RE: Never a good day anymore
(14-07-2015 04:33 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  Have you tried running? I mean like just getting out and running until it hurts and then running some more.
Anyway, go kick life's ass.
I'm so badly out of shape now that wouldn't take very long. In the past, I would just start walking. I'd end up in the next town over but then I'd have the blisters to show for it. And right now, I think life is kicking my ass, unfortunately.


(14-07-2015 04:35 PM)jennybee Wrote:  It might sound all holistic-y and shit--but yoga and meditation can also help.
Haven't meditated in years. I used to, and that's when I had a vision. I know, hard to believe an atheist had a vision. I don't honestly know if anyone around here knows yoga.


(14-07-2015 04:56 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Have you tried any hotlines?

I don't know what kinds of meds you have been on but I also hate to be on meds forever. I am on and off my Lexapro frequently.

What can we maybe do to help?

Talk to us...we care. Heart
I've tried a few hotlines. They say that I need medication and therapy. I'm not opposed to medication, but they haven't worked for me. The ones I can remember right off hand are Elavil (amitriptyline), Wellbutrin & Wellbutrin SR, Ativan (for anxiety/panic attacks after the breakdown), Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, Prozac, and a couple others. Paxil knocked me for horrible withdrawal, Effexor and Prozac are fairly recent, but not at the same time. With all of those, now I'm concerned about long-term effects of them.

A lot of times in the past I could temporarily distract myself, but lately it's gotten to the point where I can't even do that. I'm so worried about my future because the idea of being stuck forever in jobs I hate weighs on my mind all the time. Right now, I just can't do much of anything because of my current situation. It seems to get worse all the time because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.

I know you care. I wish there were anything anyone could do to help me get out of this. I feel like I've tried too many things and I'm still trapped.
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