New Member. I married a Born Again
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22-02-2011, 04:13 PM
New Member. I married a Born Again
Hello TTA and members,
I have watched all the TTA videos and must say you do a wonderful job. I look forward to many more podcasts in the near future. My favorite episode is when you had Darkmatter2525, BionicGirl and Evid3nc3 on. Keep up the great work!

I am currently going through a divorce with my wife that i have been married to for almost 1 year now. We dated for a short period of time (6 months) and knew of her Born Again Christian family. When we first dated she was a wreck. She lost her faith in God after her mental breakdown from her first marriage of 12 years to another born again that abused her mentally and physically. She knew of me having Atheistic views, etc. We often, sometimes, disagreed, but that never interferred with our true love for each other. She was a confused alcoholic as first, i helped her to stop drinking and become a better person in life. She was a free being after a couple months of us dating. It was a night and day difference. Than i found out her parents, which are pastors of their church, started preaching to her that she's walking the wrong path with satan (me). They were degrading me and her all the time. Her parents never got a chance to know who i was as a person. They stamped me being a Atheist. I try to stand up for her as she was always brainwashed never to disrespect her parents... ever! She basically got caught in the middle and that guilt eventually broke her down again. I decided to tell my story on Youtube. It's not complete but there are 5-6 parts so far. I am looking for answers why she is like this, confused when i know she loved me so much, told me i was the only one who cared for her and her feelings. Please feel free to ask questions or post replies here. Thanks for veiwing and look forward to many discussion on TTA forums.
Cheers,
Livelife8072
PS You can search for me by Livelife8072 on Youtube to hear my story.

Live life, cause you only have one!Youtuber:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Livelife8072
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22-02-2011, 04:23 PM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
It's really hard for people to accept giving up their parents sometimes. I still willingly allow my dad to fuck up my life with his belief that I'm male and look silly in girls clothes. If she is this important to you, then maybe you'll keep trying (I would). It's very hard to convince people with strong beliefs that you aren't temptation when you disagree with their beliefs. Sorry things aren't going so well for your relationship, but if you do continue this will likely continue being a cycle. Born agains are either people who lose faith when they get comfortable and retreat to faith when things get hard, or people who lose faith when things are impossible and find faith again when things get better.

Hope things turn out well for you and welcome to the forum.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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22-02-2011, 04:40 PM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
Sorry to hear about what's happened to you, LiveLife. But we're glad to have you here with us.

On another note, TTA doesn't actually post on this forum. He's kind enough to give it to us to use as a meeting place and a kind of support circle for everyone here who's going through things like you, but he doesn't actually read or post anything on here.

"Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness."
- Terry Pratchett
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22-02-2011, 04:43 PM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
Thanks for the reply. I had the same feelings like you stated. She was born into Christianity. Her parents were converted 40 years ago. It really is a shame my wife was brought up not to think on her own. I believe she would of been a whole different person in life.
Oh ok thanks for the heads up. Seems like a great forum and look forward browsing it. Thanks for having me.
Cheers

(22-02-2011 04:40 PM)Unbeliever Wrote:  Sorry to hear about what's happened to you, LiveLife. But we're glad to have you here with us.

On another note, TTA doesn't actually post on this forum. He's kind enough to give it to us to use as a meeting place and a kind of support circle for everyone here who's going through things like you, but he doesn't actually read or post anything on here.

Live life, cause you only have one!Youtuber:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Livelife8072
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22-02-2011, 11:42 PM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
For a person to move into a knew way of thinking requires stepping outside one's comfort zone. This feels strange and is very scary. Even if the change is for the good and is exactly what they want, many will fall back into old ways rather than endure the discomfort of reprogramming the brain, especially when their efforts are being undermined by those that are close to them and have influence over them.

Also, she lost her faith in god after a mental breakdown. This isn't a conversion to atheism. It is a loss of faith. Losing faith doesn't mean losing belief, it means losing trust in something one still believes in. Atheism is the lack of belief.

I hope this is helpful. I know how painful a break-up can be.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.
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23-02-2011, 10:33 AM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
just wow.. being abused by her previous husband and her parents didnt even help her ? that's terrible, and how can she still believe in god after all the things she went through ?

her parents just dont care, religion is more important than their daughters well-being.. its so sad to see parents out there like that..
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23-02-2011, 10:37 AM
RE: New Member. I married a Born Again
Ya I feel the same way. Can't believe she went back. Also I never wanted her to be a atheist. Just for her to do her own research to figure the way she wants to live life. Her pastor parents had a huge doing on her going back to church and being a pastor again. They put so much guilt and fear in her she probably had no choice. She couldn't do that being married to an atheist i guess. Ya my story would be a great movie probably. Lol amazing marriage. Can't wait for all my videos to be done. It's actually a release for me to do these videos.

Live life, cause you only have one!Youtuber:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Livelife8072
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