Nishi's Irish Wake
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04-05-2016, 01:32 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:02 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 12:55 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Yes. He committed suicide sometime after April 21st.

Heart Sadcryface Heart

[Image: giphy.gif]

But ... there where so many bands he never got to hear.

I hardly knew him, but i'm really tearing up here.
Hug
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04-05-2016, 01:46 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:04 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:02 PM)Commonsensei Wrote:  [Image: giphy.gif]

But ... there where so many bands he never got to hear.

I hardly knew him, but i'm really tearing up here.

*hugs* We are all extremely heartbroken. I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I miss him so much. He was such an awesome person on every level.

I've gone through a box of kleenex. I'm starting on the second box today. He was such a sweet teddy bear of a man. He looked like someone you just wanted to hug all the time. I listened to his accent tag again and fell apart. Sadcryface

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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04-05-2016, 01:50 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:46 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:04 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* We are all extremely heartbroken. I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I miss him so much. He was such an awesome person on every level.

I've gone through a box of kleenex. I'm starting on the second box today. He was such a sweet teddy bear of a man. He looked like someone you just wanted to hug all the time. I listened to his accent tag again and fell apart. Sadcryface

I can't stop tearing up. It hit me the hardest last night. The reality that he wasn't coming back finally sunk in. TTA is not the same without him. Sadcryface
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04-05-2016, 01:51 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:46 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:04 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* We are all extremely heartbroken. I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I miss him so much. He was such an awesome person on every level.

I've gone through a box of kleenex. I'm starting on the second box today. He was such a sweet teddy bear of a man. He looked like someone you just wanted to hug all the time. I listened to his accent tag again and fell apart. Sadcryface

Hug
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04-05-2016, 02:00 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:50 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:46 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I've gone through a box of kleenex. I'm starting on the second box today. He was such a sweet teddy bear of a man. He looked like someone you just wanted to hug all the time. I listened to his accent tag again and fell apart. Sadcryface

I can't stop tearing up. It hit me the hardest last night. The reality that he wasn't coming back finally sunk in. TTA is not the same without him. Sadcryface

I almost sent him a pm a few days before the April 21st. I wish I had taken the time to do that. It might have made a slight difference in his life, just enough to get him through a bad patch of depression.

I remember 6 or 7 month ago he wanted to leave the forum because he didn't think he contributed anything. I remember we all convinced him to stay and after that he posted quite a lot. I think TTA helped him. It was someplace he could be. I think he enjoyed it here.

It made me cry to see the "find" button but no "PM" button next to it.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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04-05-2016, 02:03 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 02:00 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:50 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I can't stop tearing up. It hit me the hardest last night. The reality that he wasn't coming back finally sunk in. TTA is not the same without him. Sadcryface

I almost sent him a pm a few days before the April 21st. I wish I had taken the time to do that. It might have made a slight difference in his life, just enough to get him through a bad patch of depression.

I remember 6 or 7 month ago he wanted to leave the forum because he didn't think he contributed anything. I remember we all convinced him to stay and after that he posted quite a lot. I think TTA helped him. It was someplace he could be. I think he enjoyed it here.

It made me cry to see the "find" button but no "PM" button next to it.

*hugs* I have wished every day since this happened that I didn't go on my yoga retreat. That maybe my not going would have made some difference. I know that's not fair to put on myself, but I still think it nonetheless.
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04-05-2016, 02:03 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 01:50 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 01:46 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I've gone through a box of kleenex. I'm starting on the second box today. He was such a sweet teddy bear of a man. He looked like someone you just wanted to hug all the time. I listened to his accent tag again and fell apart. Sadcryface

I can't stop tearing up. It hit me the hardest last night. The reality that he wasn't coming back finally sunk in. TTA is not the same without him. Sadcryface

Hug

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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04-05-2016, 02:20 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 02:03 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 02:00 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I almost sent him a pm a few days before the April 21st. I wish I had taken the time to do that. It might have made a slight difference in his life, just enough to get him through a bad patch of depression.

I remember 6 or 7 month ago he wanted to leave the forum because he didn't think he contributed anything. I remember we all convinced him to stay and after that he posted quite a lot. I think TTA helped him. It was someplace he could be. I think he enjoyed it here.

It made me cry to see the "find" button but no "PM" button next to it.

*hugs* I have wished every day since this happened that I didn't go on my yoga retreat. That maybe my not going would have made some difference. I know that's not fair to put on myself, but I still think it nonetheless.

It could be that you, me and everyone here on TTA just delayed the inevitable. That we gave Nishi a few more months of life but it was going to happen anyway. There were probably many things that contributed to his death. Banjo mentioned that he changed his psychologist and that probably upset his psyche quite a lot. I don't know if he was any medication or if his medication was changed by the new psychologist. If so that could have added to his problems.

He hid his inner thoughts from everyone on the forum but they bubbled to the surface in private emails. But I do think we gave him some things to laugh about, truly laugh about and his inner troubles were eased, even if it was for a brief moment. We should all feel good about that.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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04-05-2016, 02:22 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 02:20 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(04-05-2016 02:03 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs* I have wished every day since this happened that I didn't go on my yoga retreat. That maybe my not going would have made some difference. I know that's not fair to put on myself, but I still think it nonetheless.

It could be that you, me and everyone here on TTA just delayed the inevitable. That we gave Nishi a few more months of life but it was going to happen anyway. There were probably many things that contributed to his death. Banjo mentioned that he changed his psychologist and that probably upset his psyche quite a lot. I don't know if he was any medication or if his medication was changed by the new psychologist. If so that could have added to his problems.

He hid his inner thoughts from everyone on the forum but they bubbled to the surface in private emails. But I do think we gave him some things to laugh about, truly laugh about and his inner troubles were eased, even if it was for a brief moment. We should all feel good about that.

I hope we were able to give him some happiness through all of the pain he struggled with. *hugs*
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04-05-2016, 03:02 PM
RE: Nishi's Irish Wake
(04-05-2016 02:22 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I hope we were able to give him some happiness through all of the pain he struggled with. *hugs*

I thought this was a good place to post this, since it's a thread about celebrating Erik's memory.

I was liking posts last night. 5,999 was Aliza's. Her post about having found happiness with my friend, and fellow girl-ass-luvuh, Tarty! Warmed my heart. Then I liked one of yours, Jenny. One of the ones you placed in a Nishi thread. At some point I noticed that I had 6,000 likes handed out. I unliked yours so I could make one of his my 6,000th. I chose the one that a TTA member here recently made into his sig (sorry, friend, but I forget who you are, for the moment). But then it just popped into my head that Moms had said Erik left us on, or around, the 21st of April; my Birthday. So I went back & checked and sure enough he'd posted in my thread, and I'd already liked it. I remember it was a Thursday & I got home around 6pm. Signed in & liked all my HBD wishes.

But sitting there staring at that post elicited an emotion within me I don't think they quite have a name for. An impossible mixture of both pride, and profoundly silent humility. So I unliked his HBD wish to me, which moved Aliza's down to 5,998, his other post to 99, & placing his HBD at 6,000.

Erik may very well have taken time out of his very last day on Earth to wish me Happy Birthday. I think that says everything anyone would ever need to know about the man's character! About Nishi's generosity!

It doesn't mean much, if anything, but I'm making the gesture, anyway. That's the last post I'm going to like for a while.

To Erik! Heart

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