No husbands or wives in heaven
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15-08-2013, 09:05 AM
No husbands or wives in heaven
I just had this conversation with my coworker. She was telling me about how her and her cousins were having a conversation about their marriages in heaven.

One of them has been married three times and was wondering which one she would be married to in heaven. The coworker said she’d be married to no one. She went on to say bunch more stuff, but eventually I circled back around the not being married to anyone in heaven bit and asked her why she said that. She said because the bible says that in heaven no one is married to anyone except for to Jesus. I didn’t ask her the exact verse because it doesn’t matter and I don’t really care. Besides most likely if there is one then there is another that contradicts it anyway.

I responded that that makes marriage nice and meaningless. At least from the point of it being the supernatural bond beyond that of simply two humans making a decision, but has cosmic implications as well. If it’s supposedly a religious spiritual bond, but ends as soon as why die than why make a bigger deal about it than it simply being two people who choose to be married?

She said because it prepares us for death, where in heaven we will all be the bride of Christ. It shows us that we can’t be alone and need someone, so that we will accept and be prepared to be married to Christ in heaven. In heaven we can’t be married to anyone but Christ as we are all his bride.

Shocking

…ummm…

That is insanity… There are so many aspects of this that I could focus on, but I’m going to focus on one glaring thing to me that makes the whole rest of this statement invalid when dismissed. Let’s say, even hypothetically, that this was true, that marriage is to teach us that we can’t be alone and need the help of someone else in marriage, and that ‘person’ being Jesus…If no one got married then would people who go to heaven just be confused and not know what to do because they weren’t married on earth?

The thing that drives me nuts about this tripe is that it only takes half a second to think about what any of that would actually mean in reality, but they don’t do it. That’s like saying I need to be married first to know how to be married to my second wife. For some people maybe that’s true, but if that first wife was a perfect being who could do no wrong and make you feel pure bliss and satisfaction and make you a better person simply by being in their presence, then what would you need the practice wife for?

It’s lunacy.

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15-08-2013, 09:15 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
Jesus is all like, “Hey, let’s be buds and pet this sheep for awhile. Don’t worry, that lion won’t hurt you. They don’t eat meat anymore. Only leaves and zucchini”.
And that person will be like, “Duh….I don’t need to pet that sheep with you because I was never married.” Then Jesus cries because he is lonely because that unmarried person hasn’t been prepared for him as their husband and doesn’t know how to act in a marriage.
But then someone else comes along and says, “Hey, Jesus. I’ll pet that sheep with you because I’ve been married before.” Then Jesus was happy.
Third guy comes along and says, “Fuck you Jesus, I’m not petting your damned lamb! But I will see you in the bedroom later tonight because I have practiced having sex and know how to do that”.

What madness is this?! What would that even mean to be married to Jesus in heaven. They are all going to live in his bed room. Make his bacon and eggs in the morning. Leave the kids with the grandparents so that you can go out on ‘date night’? Or (were any of this true, which of course it’s not) would it be that you would just be in heaven and somewhere in heave Jesus is in there and you just go about your heaven life, whatever that would involve, and think to yourself in your head, “I’m married to Jesus” except nothing that is a part of a marriage ever actually happens. Wouldn’t that either mean that your concept of being married to Jesus is not marriage, or that you’ve completely changed the definition of marriage just to suit a nonsensical belief. Or third, you’ve just never took more than two seconds to think about what the phrase “married to Jesus” could possibly even mean.

It's nonsense...

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15-08-2013, 09:19 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
So, then men in heaven also become Jesus' brides?

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15-08-2013, 09:30 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
Well, it started with "In heaven ..." so everything that follows is guaranteed bullshit. Drinking Beverage

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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15-08-2013, 09:32 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
The lack of Biblical understanding in typical Christians is astounding.

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15-08-2013, 09:46 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
Matthew 22:23-30

23 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. 25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. 26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. 27 Finally, the woman died. 28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
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15-08-2013, 09:51 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
Quote:The coworker said she’d be married to no one

That's why they call it "heaven," man.
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15-08-2013, 09:52 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
Well, in Catholic school, all the nuns said they were Jesus' brides.

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15-08-2013, 09:56 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
(15-08-2013 09:46 AM)Atheist_pilgrim Wrote:  Matthew 22:23-30

23 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. 25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. 26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. 27 Finally, the woman died. 28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.

Now where's the part about being married to Christ? I'm pretty sure I do remember reading something that said something about the bride of Christ, however I could be mixing what I remember reading with what I constantly hear my coworker incessantly talking about.

Then If we can find one that talks about being married in heaven, that would be the trifecta. Although I do think she is correct that the bible doesn't ever say that people are still married in heaven, tough I don't recall for sure and am too lazy to look it all over right now. If anyone already knows off the top of your head, feel free to post it.

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15-08-2013, 10:03 AM
RE: No husbands or wives in heaven
(15-08-2013 09:52 AM)Dom Wrote:  Well, in Catholic school, all the nuns said they were Jesus' brides.

And, looking back on it, the dresses we had to wear for confirmation looked suspiciously like bridal gowns....hmmm....creepy. I just got chills, and not the good kind.

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