No longer a Christian
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
12-02-2013, 12:55 PM
RE: No longer a Christian
Thanks everyone. Smile
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
19-02-2013, 11:17 PM
RE: No longer a Christian
(11-02-2013 02:48 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(11-02-2013 02:21 PM)Flowergurl Wrote:  I guess it might do me good to write this out. There is no one I can really talk to about this and I have always been better at writing than talking, too. I had to take a break from this forum for a while because I was feeling very sad and anxious about this whole thing, and of course this change of belief had to come at the same time as all these other personal issues.

It actually just kills me to write this. But, better now, early in the year, than later. I am sure that everyone who leaves their religion or faith must feel like this. How could I have been so gullible? So narrowminded?

I have always questioned Christians' obessions of enforcing stupid gender roles on people, especially women. Of that I can at least be proud of.

Here's my Christianity story:

As a child I was always so in love with the idea of God and Jesus and going to Heaven. When I was 8, my aunt and uncle took my to sunday school at their church and my aunt said that if I love Jesus, I should ask him into my heart. I still recall it as this dramatic moment, I even heard music in my ears as I looked to the sky and asked him, in my head. My sister and I would watch the Jesus movie every often. It bugged my mom a bit. She actually used to think that Christians were nuts.

My parents became "saved" when I was 11. We all went to a United church as a family when I was 12. We switched to a Baptist church, since they believed more of what the Bible said about Jesus being the only way and the United church was getting a little liberal. Oh boy. The Baptist church. This one believed that women could not wear pants and women were discouraged from working. In fact, all the moms home schooled there. I was a tomboy at age 13 and had a lot of angst once I was enrolled in the church school and had to wear skirts whenever I was at the church - and cullottes (Yes, culottes) for gym class. I never fit in at that stupid church. My teen years when it came to friendship were absolute hell. The girls didn't like me because I came from a well to do family, listened to Christian rock music (hahaha) and wore pants everywhere but at church. I was too shy to talk to the boys, so I was a loner.

Oh, how I used to fume during every terrible message my old pastor used to preach about women who wanted to have a career just wanted to be like men. He also hated women who pursued athletics past anything leisurely. I would write stories of strong female characters just to negate everything the man said. It's amazing I held on to faith as long as I did with the bitchy church girls combined with the sexist doctrines of that church. But I really believed that they were just misinterpreting the Scriptures and that Jesus viewed me as an equal.

Fastforward to age 20. All of my friends were getting married or were already married. I was engaged to a guy that drove me up the wall and I finally broke it. He begged me to go with him to speak to our pastor and this pastor told me that I should be focusing on the family as the rapture could happen soon. He knew my plan was to go further in school and to have a career and he told me that family is more important than that. Holy crap, I ran so far away from that Baptist church! To this day, I have to say that he gave me the worst advice possible for the type of person that I am.

Sadly, I went to another church where it was more liberal in the "tongues and faith healing and worship music" sense, but the pastor there was just as terrible when it came to women. I fell for a guy (that I later found out was insane), but at the time I thought he was amazing and we eloped.Our pastor made us publicly apologize to the whole church. Ugh. From that point on, I was repeatedly discouraged by that pastor for purusing a career. He constantly made reference to me starting a family. The worst thing ever was him telling mu ex husband that I was in rebellion because I kept my last name. My last name! Sorry, but it's mine. Screw you, sexist pigs. But it didn't stop there. They prayed together that I would get impregnated against my will, because I made it very well known that I did not want kids.

My "Christian" husband abused our pet cats and me, constantly did whatever he wanted, and we were clearly mis matched. Thank God we got a divorce and I left the church promptly.

After that, I would sort of flounder around to different churches, but I didn't want to commit. My parents disregard to this day what that pastor said to me and about me and they think I should be going back there. I started asking myself questions - for the first time, I was on my own and no one was telling me what to think or what to do. I suppose it is no surprise that not long after that, I did some research and there are just so many things that prove the Bible's error. I still cringe when I say that, but it's true.

It's been rough, thinking I had a "best friend" living in my heart all this time. Thinking there was someone there to catch me if I fell. But there isn't. I went through some depression around Christmas and I am just now coming to terms with this new agnosticism. It is empowering. I no longer feel that horrible, looming control that my parents and sister are still enslaved to. I pity them, but they wouldn't listen to me if I tried to explain them my side - even if I showed them every one of the hundreds of errors in the Bible, they would still blindly defend it.

But this me now. An agnostic. I am not religious. I still have a respect for Jesus that will probably not go away, but I am confident that I am right. Those years of debates and arguments over women's roles and accusations against gay people, etc. were all for naught.
Thank you for that heartfelt account.


OK, you have a 'respect for Jesus', but what does that mean? Do you believe in God? Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God?
Or do you not have any clear belief?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
19-02-2013, 11:26 PM
RE: No longer a Christian
So now bein an agnostic youre admitting to the knowledge that there might be a God and there might not be... what made you come to this conclusion?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-02-2013, 07:00 AM
RE: No longer a Christian
(19-02-2013 11:26 PM)blasphemilius_VI Wrote:  So now bein an agnostic youre admitting to the knowledge that there might be a God and there might not be... what made you come to this conclusion?
We can't prove that there isn't a God, but there is definitely not enough evidence to show that there is a God. It is not likely that there is a deity up there, but we can't be sure. Perhaps it's just a byproduct of me being so new to this. In time, I might merge into being an Agnostic Atheist. Religious documents are all, of course, written by people. Add the fact that such texts have been edited and re-written many times and you just can't say that any one religion is correct. I'm just not comfortable YET saying that there isn't a God because, while all religions are very likely false, that doesn't necessarily prove that there is not a deity. That being said, if there is a God, He doesn't seem all that interested in making Himself known to people - or making any effort to help people that need Him.
I hope that made sense.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Flowergurl's post
21-02-2013, 07:02 AM
RE: No longer a Christian
(21-02-2013 07:00 AM)Flowergurl Wrote:  
(19-02-2013 11:26 PM)blasphemilius_VI Wrote:  So now bein an agnostic youre admitting to the knowledge that there might be a God and there might not be... what made you come to this conclusion?
We can't prove that there isn't a God, but there is definitely not enough evidence to show that there is a God. It is not likely that there is a deity up there, but we can't be sure. Perhaps it's just a byproduct of me being so new to this. In time, I might merge into being an Agnostic Atheist. Religious documents are all, of course, written by people. Add the fact that such texts have been edited and re-written many times and you just can't say that any one religion is correct. I'm just not comfortable YET saying that there isn't a God because, while all religions are very likely false, that doesn't necessarily prove that there is not a deity. That being said, if there is a God, He doesn't seem all that interested in making Himself known to people - or making any effort to help people that need Him.
I hope that made sense.


Yes, that made sense. An agnostic atheist agrees that the existence of gods can not be disproved, and doesn't see sufficient evidence that any do.

You sound like you're pretty much there. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
21-02-2013, 07:08 AM
RE: No longer a Christian
(21-02-2013 07:02 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(21-02-2013 07:00 AM)Flowergurl Wrote:  We can't prove that there isn't a God, but there is definitely not enough evidence to show that there is a God. It is not likely that there is a deity up there, but we can't be sure. Perhaps it's just a byproduct of me being so new to this. In time, I might merge into being an Agnostic Atheist. Religious documents are all, of course, written by people. Add the fact that such texts have been edited and re-written many times and you just can't say that any one religion is correct. I'm just not comfortable YET saying that there isn't a God because, while all religions are very likely false, that doesn't necessarily prove that there is not a deity. That being said, if there is a God, He doesn't seem all that interested in making Himself known to people - or making any effort to help people that need Him.
I hope that made sense.


Yes, that made sense. An agnostic atheist agrees that the existence of gods can not be disproved, and doesn't see sufficient evidence that any do.

You sound like you're pretty much there. Drinking Beverage
Well, there we have it. *Shudders* I will get used to this in time, I'm sure. It sucks hearing those Bible verses about blasphemy echoing in my mind, even though deep down I know they were written by people.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-02-2013, 07:55 AM
RE: No longer a Christian
Thanks for posting your story. I admire your strength to break free from the expectations of your patriarchal community. Welcome to the twenty-first century. We can do whatever the fuck we want, and no pastor is going to tell us otherwise.

"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Smooshmonster's post
21-02-2013, 05:16 PM
RE: No longer a Christian
You're very intelligent in realizing that Christianity doesn't make you have morals. Anyone is capable of doing wrong and right which is why I don't agree with Christians saying Atheists are bad people.
Unfortunately a-lot of Christians don't do what Jesus says. Jesus says to love and care for others. A kid may go to a bible study meeting in the morning at school and then later in the day make fun of a girl for wearing a tacky outfit or something.
I also don't like the idea some Christians have of the importance to get married. There are certain times in life where it's better to be single than to be with someone who doesn't treat you right. You learned in your experience just because you marry a Christian man doesn't make him a better person.
I had a similiar experience.I was dating a Christian guy this year when I was an official Christian this year, then we broke up over religous differences. I told him on facebook that my beliefs and his differ. He at first he accepted my beliefs and then kept sending me messages to make me feel bad like "He he I thought you were breaking up with me. Don't scare me like that."
So I had to unfriend and block him on facebook. He eventually gave up.
My advice in dealing with Christian family members would be to acknowledge you don't believe, but try to avoid talking about your beliefs. This is what I do to avoid conflict with my Christian parents.
My mom had trouble taking the news at first but later came to accept it.
I used to believe in Jesus too when I was younger, but then coming up this year Senior year I came to a point where I finally listened to what the back of my mind was trying to tell me, and learned I am better off being an Atheist.

" If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello" Paulo Coelho
"If you pray for rain it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers" Steve Allen
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like lizzielee's post
22-02-2013, 10:46 AM
RE: No longer a Christian
Quote: Well, there we have it. *Shudders* I will get used to this in time, I'm sure. It sucks hearing those Bible verses about blasphemy echoing in my mind, even though deep down I know they were written by people.
Yeah those blasphemy verses are a pain in the mind. Whoever thought those up was a scumbag.

Just an outsider looking inn.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Foxcanine1's post
22-02-2013, 11:16 PM
RE: No longer a Christian
(21-02-2013 07:55 AM)Smooshmonster Wrote:  Thanks for posting your story. I admire your strength to break free from the expectations of your patriarchal community. Welcome to the twenty-first century. We can do whatever the fuck we want, and no pastor is going to tell us otherwise.
Indeed. Cool
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: