Non stop thinking Atheist.
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03-05-2011, 12:36 AM
Non stop thinking Atheist.
It's 2:18 am and I was laying in bed thinking about Atheism. Knowing that I know there is no god, and no afterlife, and I wasn't wishing that there was.

But I got really upset at the thought of not "being" anymore, I wouldn't even know it, but I just feel like I want to be "here" and "exist". And enjoy this before I am nothing.

What is this?

Seriously, what is life? What is this?

I hate when people say " you're an atheist why don't you just kill yourself if there's no point." Theists have a God that gives them purpose, and I give myself purpose, secular virtues. There is so much to live for and to experience in our little blip of a lifespan.

I've only been an Atheist for a couple years, although I am confident in my beliefs..or disbeliefs and there is no changing that nor is there wishing I had a religion.

However there are nights like tonight where I am up crying and have panic attacks because I can't stop thinking about how fleeting life is and how much I don't want to die. I have to wake up in about 3 hours and I can't even sleep because of my racing thoughts.

I know that a lot of us try to seem all cool about it, but I have a feeling we all felt like this at some point, maybe near the beginning of your atheism.

Please....any advice is welcome..
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03-05-2011, 01:18 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
IMO...

I think you suffer from "change in life concept". Not so long ago I posted the following comparison somewhere on this site...

(30-04-2011 04:13 AM)The_observer Wrote:  I think many ex believers or people on the verge of loosing religion struggle with these questions. I think they are afraid for what in Dutch is called "het zwarte gat" ("the black hole"). Their life has been guided the whole time and now they are on their own.
I think the problem lies in the changing of life-concept.
As a theist, you live your life in anticipation to "the big reward" at the end. As atheist, you live your life in the "now".

consider the following:
When I was a theist, my life was a vacation where I tried to drive my car along a freeway in destination to a luxury resort on the beach. While sitting in my cramped car, I already dreamt of the Cuba-libre I would order on arrival and the tasty tapas.

Now that I'm an atheist, my life is a vacation where I drive a RV. I have no particular destination. when the night falls, I look up a quiet spot to rest and I enjoy the scenic view. One day, my vacation is over and then I can look back to a journey that was well worth it. People I met, places I saw, things I would have never done when I would have stayed in my cramped car on the freeway.

That concept might take some getting used to.

While may sound superficial, I feel there is much truth in the macho saying "Enjoy the ride". I understand that as a young woman looking for deeper emotional feelings, it might not have much appeal to you. Maybe "You are free! Enjoy it!" suits you better?

The main reason I am on this site connecting with atheist thinkers alike is , because I'm looking to "fill in" my life as an atheist.

One last thing, "worrying does not affect the objective truth". You can be sad or disappointed in the objective truth, but that makes God and heaven or hell not more real.

"It takes strong shoulders to carry freedom"
I hope this post helps you a bit.

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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03-05-2011, 01:21 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
Fear of death is quite logical. Why work your ass off in school, work for a meager salary, get noisy children, await retirement and then suffer from all kind off geriatric illnesses until you finally stop breathing? In the end you're worm food; no harp, no cloud, no smiling angels.
It's quite strange to see atheists living full lifes, knowing it serves no purpose for themselves in the end, unless...

Unless you live your life for a reason, making the world a better place. Dying with the knowledge that whatever you did, how insignificant it may seem, made a difference. If I can die with that knowledge, I think can die a happy man.

Question for you: why is it that theists so often opposed to euthanasia? Ok, I know the bible condems suicide, but apart from that. Shouldn't we atheists be the ones that are afraid from death?

And on the brighter side: with the scientific advances, immortality may well be within your reach within a few decades. Just stay alive long enough, who knows? Smile

"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
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03-05-2011, 01:37 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
Actually, there are a lot of theories about what happens when we die.
There's a theory of snuff and some others in this topic: http://thethinkingatheist.com/forum/Thre...7#pid29217

I'm not saying you should believe them, I just think you should try to find your own answers. If death is what keeps you awake at night, then you should definitely look for a theory on the net, or create a theory you're satisfied with.

Also, Welcome Big Grin!
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03-05-2011, 02:04 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
Look, you don't have any reason to be afraid of death, it is the most natural thing in the universe, everything is born, then dies, even planets and entire solar systems. It is what you do with the time you have that matters. When your time comes, it will come, thats it, it's nothing to fear, and there is nothing you can change there. Accept your nature.

Smile

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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03-05-2011, 04:43 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
Blush Thanks everyone for replying, I really should have calmed down a bit before posting.
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03-05-2011, 04:49 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
(03-05-2011 04:43 AM)SarahDarleen Wrote:  Blush Thanks everyone for replying, I really should have calmed down a bit before posting.
I guess that's what fora are for.

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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03-05-2011, 08:02 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
Oddly enough, I had these feelings towards the end of being a Christian... for some reason eternal life has always been far more terrifying to me than the thought of never existing. Attribute it to my study of Eastern culture and Nirvahna if you want. Tongue

Maybe thinking about the benefits of ceasing to exist will help you? While I REALLY enjoy living I kind of can't wait to die... Tongue I just want to make sure to leave something behind as a legacy first. It's definitely arrogant thinking, but thinking about future people standing on top of my accomplishments, just I would have those before me, and imagining them reading about my discoveries or contributions to make the world a better place for them to make the world a better place for others to make the world a better place... It's unlikely that I'll ever get that kind of recognition, but it's really satisfying to think about. Tongue That's the only kind of immortality I want.

Nonexistence is a very real heaven. there will literally be no more sorrow, no more tears. It will be the deepest, most comfortable, most restful sleep you can imagine. It will be the ultimate experience.

I find enlightenment in it. Maybe I'm weird. Maybe I made things worse instead of better, but it's kind of soothing to me actually. I hope sometime you can find it soothing, too. ^_^

"It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right." -Kathryn Schulz
I am 100% certain that I am wrong about something I am certain about right now. Because even if everything I stand for turns out to be completely true, I was still wrong about being wrong.
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03-05-2011, 08:15 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
I share Sarah's dread of non-existence at times, especially as I get older and see a lot of people my age dying. I can see why so many people turn to religion as they get older, although I could never fool myself into believing in a sky-daddy just because it would be comforting. It makes sense that our desire for self-preservation should be so strong otherwise we would not survive as a species, but it still sucks.

I have to point out that when I was a Christian many years ago, it was not so comforting. Being a fundamentalist I was taught that only the most righteous would barely make it in by the skin-of-their-teeth, so you had this constant nagging feeling that despite believing and doing all you were asked you still might miss the boat and end up in hell. In fact, the fundies I grew up with believed all Christians who didn't see the Bible the same way we did were also going to hell. Compared to that constant fear and self doubt, the nonexistence that I face as an atheist is a much more comforting outlook.

“There is no sin except stupidity.” Oscar Wilde
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03-05-2011, 09:35 AM
RE: Non stop thinking Atheist.
(03-05-2011 08:15 AM)nontheocrat Wrote:  I have to point out that when I was a Christian many years ago, it was not so comforting. Being a fundamentalist I was taught that only the most righteous would barely make it in by the skin-of-their-teeth, so you had this constant nagging feeling that despite believing and doing all you were asked you still might miss the boat and end up in hell. In fact, the fundies I grew up with believed all Christians who didn't see the Bible the same way we did were also going to hell. Compared to that constant fear and self doubt, the nonexistence that I face as an atheist is a much more comforting outlook.

Ah, that's the exact same thing I felt about eternity! Maybe not so much fearing for myself (though there was definitely that, too, but I was pretty arrogant Tongue), but fearing for my loved ones who I "knew" were on the path to destruction. D: Living in an eternity where I "knew" they would be tortured far worse than the most brutal rape you wouldn't dare to imagine even if you had the stomach for it, and for all of eternity... it would have been torture for myself as well. I remember even deciding at one point that I would try bargaining with Yhwh to go to hell in exchange for as many loved ones as I could, since I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of paradise with my feet on the bodies of my friends.

Compared to all of that, nonexistence really is heaven. Tongue

"It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right." -Kathryn Schulz
I am 100% certain that I am wrong about something I am certain about right now. Because even if everything I stand for turns out to be completely true, I was still wrong about being wrong.
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