Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
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08-08-2013, 08:04 AM
Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
...says a local Ministry. My sister recently went to a County Fair and a local Ministry had a trailer parked there offering a tour of Noah's Ark, inviting people to come "Learn The Facts" and giving out free gifts to all. On the side of the trailer they painted two horses, two eagles, two apatosauruses, two wolves, a pterosaur and a bear.

Venturing over to their website I read the following:

What Is the Bible?
It is a collection of 66 books by 40 different authors written over a 1,500 year period on 3 different continents in 3 different languages without a single contradiction and one divine (supernatural) theme throughout.


Without a single contradiction?
Not one?
Really?

Now I know (some) theists believe and argue that there aren't any contradictions. They will say that Genesis 1:11-12 and 1:26-27 (Trees came before Adam) and Genesis 2:4-9 (Trees came after Adam) isn't a contradiction, but that Genesis 1 is when God created trees and that Genesis 2 is when God created the trees in the Garden of Eden.

They have a way to twisting everything around so they can explain away any contradiction that anyone else points out...even if their explanation is utterly ridiculous.

These are the theists that annoy me...and are often the ones I find myself debating after they challenge my atheism in an effort to "save" me. I know plenty of theists that don't think the Bible should be taken literally. They just believe in God and that's fine with me...whatever floats your boat. But these theists who believe the Bible should be taken literally, the ones that say the Earth is 6,000 years old, Noah's global flood actually happened and dinosaurs were on the Ark that leaving me scratching my head with a confused look on my face, saying "Really? You really believe that?"

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08-08-2013, 08:20 AM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
In the spirit of twisting stuff around...

None of the contradictions are single. They're all collectively plural. Laughat

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08-08-2013, 12:59 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
To be fair, he is right, there is not a single contradiction. There are many.

Everything else he said is bullshit, but he did get that one thing right. Ok, he probably got his name right too.
I suppose you could learn the facts of a fictional story, kinda like learning the fact that in Star Wars, Luke & Leia are brother & sister.

Or the fact that "in this book, printed on this page are words and those words say....."
The words when strung together to make sentences aren't true or factual but it is a fact that they are words.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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08-08-2013, 01:05 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
Contradictions? I didn't get nearly that far into the sentence before I started wondering.

66 books? According to (some) protestants, sure - but that's a clear minority of Christians at that!

1500 years? 800 years is at the outside range of likelihood (~700BC to ~100 AD) of authorship.

3 continents? I can only think of one book offhand that wasn't written in Asia (Revelation, in Greece).

Well, but some of the Coptic and Ethiopian apocrypha were written in Africa. So there's that, although I don't think that's what they had in mind.

3 languages I'll give them (Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, IIRC).

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08-08-2013, 01:22 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
So, I'm guessing Jesus was born in a manger, and then he was born in a house. Unsure
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08-08-2013, 02:29 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
(08-08-2013 08:04 AM)jinun Wrote:  ...says a local Ministry. My sister recently went to a County Fair and a local Ministry had a trailer parked there offering a tour of Noah's Ark, inviting people to come "Learn The Facts" and giving out free gifts to all. On the side of the trailer they painted two horses, two eagles, two apatosauruses, two wolves, a pterosaur and a bear.

Venturing over to their website I read the following:

What Is the Bible?
It is a collection of 66 books by 40 different authors written over a 1,500 year period on 3 different continents in 3 different languages without a single contradiction and one divine (supernatural) theme throughout.


Without a single contradiction?
Not one?
Really?

Now I know (some) theists believe and argue that there aren't any contradictions. They will say that Genesis 1:11-12 and 1:26-27 (Trees came before Adam) and Genesis 2:4-9 (Trees came after Adam) isn't a contradiction, but that Genesis 1 is when God created trees and that Genesis 2 is when God created the trees in the Garden of Eden.

They have a way to twisting everything around so they can explain away any contradiction that anyone else points out...even if their explanation is utterly ridiculous.

These are the theists that annoy me...and are often the ones I find myself debating after they challenge my atheism in an effort to "save" me. I know plenty of theists that don't think the Bible should be taken literally. They just believe in God and that's fine with me...whatever floats your boat. But these theists who believe the Bible should be taken literally, the ones that say the Earth is 6,000 years old, Noah's global flood actually happened and dinosaurs were on the Ark that leaving me scratching my head with a confused look on my face, saying "Really? You really believe that?"

Here's the thing about the "No contradictions in the bible" argument: You're dealing with an idiot! Not only can they not explain the bible's lack of coherency, but you won't be able to come to terms with the definition of the word "contradiction". If they have misspelled their NAME, they will tell you god was behind it.

But! On the bright side! They will prey (Sorry did I misspell that?) for your sorry ass, while they mark their calendar for the day they watch you roast in heck! (They won't say "HELL!" . . . Because that would be cussing! But. Roast away, dude! It's . . . Yahweh's, or Zeus' or . . .um Hairy Fishnuts! . . . Yea that's him! It's his will you ugly sinner!

So! When you get to hell, send me your address! Think of the unnatural things we could do together! While flipping all the heavensent the bird!

Hope I haven't confused anyone as to where I stand on this topic!
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08-08-2013, 02:48 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
This stupid little game is not winnable. No matter what you say, they will cook up a rationalization.
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/j...tions.html
http://www.answering-christianity.com/ab...pels-3.htm

The real question is why can't a supposedly smart god communicate effectively ?

There are some real historical errors, however.
The editor (supposed written by Moses), lists the Edomite kings in the wrong order. No way to rationalize that.
Ezra and Nehemiah's census figures cannot both be correct.
Jebus can't BOTH have been silent at his (supposed trial that never happened), AND give a speech.
Matthew quotes the wrong prophet : 27:9-10. It was really Zechariah, not Jeremiah.
etc etc etc

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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08-08-2013, 04:30 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
Bucky:

"The real question is why can't a supposedly smart god communicate effectively ? "

You fool you! He created shit galore, before he cold spell!.

Then he created victim's! Like me and you! We will serve the godly fart! His soldiers are marching!

Duck, damnit! Lightning bolts are after your ass!


Let us prey!: Dear god!!!!!! Um.... I am a homosexual. Your fault! I occasionally have thoughts about your existence . . .Your fault! I love to molest kittens! Um... Your fault!"

God! . . . Dude! Why are you being such a dick!!??
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08-08-2013, 10:00 PM (This post was last modified: 08-08-2013 10:04 PM by Atheist_pilgrim.)
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
What I was taught in seminary about Biblical contradictions (from memory):

The *original* manuscripts were flawless and inerrant. True, we don't have them anymore (perhaps for the best, since people might be tempted to worship them in an idolatrous fashion) but we have enough old copies to see that there are no contradictions when it comes to the major doctrines such as salvation, resurrection, the Fall, and so on.

In the case of the Gospels, the so-called contradictions in them are merely differences of emphasis based on the author's perspective and purpose (as guided by God, of course). The addition at the end of Mark about the resurrection? Yes, it was tacked-on later - but it probably happened that way based on the other Gospel accounts. Spurious gospels such as the Gospel of Thomas were Satanically-driven works meant to deceive and divide, which is why the Spirit-guided councils blew them off as heresy.


Of course, all of this sounds good and reasonable in the bubble. And frankly, I was still able to accept numerical, historical, and anecdotal contradiction in the Bible as an Xian - after all, Satan and human depravity have been hard at work against God's message from the very beginning!

Rather, it was the long-term, cumulative failure of the so-called Biblical promises of God that led to my initial disillusionment: the lack of *true* Xian love, the manipulation, venality, and arrogance of church leaders, the failure of sanctification via the Holy Spirit, the diminishing of women, the persecution of gays, the destruction of other cultures, the idea of eternal damnation, the lack of real miracles (vs. the constant breathless proclamations about a multitude of mundane ones), and so on. The alternative Biblical scholarship i discovered later was simply icing on the cake.
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29-08-2013, 03:29 PM
RE: Not a single contradiction in the Bible...
(08-08-2013 10:00 PM)Atheist_pilgrim Wrote:  What I was taught in seminary about Biblical contradictions (from memory):

[i]The *original* manuscripts were flawless and inerrant. True, we don't have them anymore (perhaps for the best, since people might be tempted to worship them in an idolatrous fashion) but we have enough old copies to see that there are no contradictions when it comes to the major doctrines such as salvation, resurrection, the Fall, and so on. *SNIP*

Rather, it was the long-term, cumulative failure of the so-called Biblical promises of God that led to my initial disillusionment: the lack of *true* Xian love, the manipulation, venality, and arrogance of church leaders, the failure of sanctification via the Holy Spirit, the diminishing of women, the persecution of gays, the destruction of other cultures, the idea of eternal damnation, the lack of real miracles (vs. the constant breathless proclamations about a multitude of mundane ones), and so on. The alternative Biblical scholarship i discovered later was simply icing on the cake.

Absolutely! Me too. Also, the completely false denigration of the self that was required - you virtually had to "invent" how horrible you were so that [imaginary] God could save you. I used to read Galations 3:13 "It's not I who live, but Christ who lives in me.." and go what the fuck? You created me just so that I could empty myself and you could live somewhere else too? What is wrong with me that I have to destroy everything I want and give over to everything you want? Aren't you God? Don't you have everything? Why do you have to take away my life too? It didn't make any sense, what a greedy self-indulgent fuck this christian god was.

"I'm sorry for looking at that pretty girl God." I now look at that poor kid and think "Dude, your 19 and pumping full of hormones. It's only if you weren't looking that I would be worried for you." I look back and feel so sorry for him!! Luckily me and him got things straightened out. Thanks Nietzsche! I love you for that day you broke me loose from my mind prison! Yay!!

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're an incredible slouch.

Martin Luther was the "father" of two movements - The Reformation and Nazism.
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