Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
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19-09-2013, 11:37 PM
Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
I don't think it's a particular secret that I am not the greatest at socially understanding people all the time. So I'm not sure if that's part of it or what... but I don't tend to really have any good friends I can confide in. No real friends I hang out on a regular basis with or anything.

I've had a handful of friends that I've been able to identify with and a few I could really call "good friends" but the majority of them have moved away and been gone for a while. The other person I'd call a very good friend now owns his own business and has no time to hang out. In fact, the last time he had a day off, he just pretty much slept all day. I'm happy for him, but the only interaction is pretty much we text back and forth once on a blue moon. Success comes at a price I suppose.

I love my wife dearly, but she has friends to hang out with and what not. She's encouraged me to find friends to hang out with. So far, I've been terrible at meeting people. I come online now and then to talk to people but it's not quite the same as person to person hanging out with interaction. There are people I fly with who are cool people. But you're not exactly hanging out and shooting the shit when you're in the air, and once you're done flying, well, you just go home.

So I don't get it.

Am I off putting? Do I come off as a total dick? Do I come off as arrogant for some reason? Hell, I even met a few people through meetups, and no one ever wants to get back to me on hanging out. I get this "vibe" that after they've met me for some reason it just doesn't click or resonate and that's it.

Maybe I suck at social interactions? My wife says I do fine, my family says I do fine, and the few "friends" I sort of acknowledge with say I do fine. But I feel like I always have ridiculous amounts of anxiety around people.

Kinda sucks. I spend an awful lot of time alone with my cars. I enjoy working on my cars. But fuck... it would be nice once in a while to have someone to go hang out with and talk.

I'm honestly open to feedback. Do I come off as a dick, or arrogant, or an asshole? I generally intend humor in my interactions, although sometimes maybe I'm too blunt and off putting? I dunno.

Time to go work on my car while I contemplate.

Laughat


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20-09-2013, 12:21 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
I don't think you suck. If I lived near you and I was of the male persuasion I'd hang out with you.
As you love cars so much, how about joining a car club or something? Or maybe ask some of the people you fly with over for a bbq?
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20-09-2013, 03:54 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
I toss my 5 cents at this and you see if it works out:

First i would try to find a interest group of your choosing close by, in the day of the internet it should do fine, either find a forum that deal with it, or anything close by and meet up personally... regardless of how shy you are i personally found out that common interest fields are a better icebreaker than Titanic ever was.

Also maybe have a different mindset of "meeting" people, try to have the mindset of enjoying yourself with a discussion or partaking in a interest group, and you will meet people eventually unless you go out to avoid contact at every oppertunity...
Its easier to relax when you enjoy yourself, and its easier to talk to people when you are relaxed.

I could gone on and on, but i think its a good starting ground for now ^^;;
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20-09-2013, 04:30 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
You, me, skype and your server. Best I can offer to tell you my first impression of you. How's that sound? I gots good internet now, so it should work. Thumbsup

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20-09-2013, 05:26 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 04:30 AM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  You, me, skype and your server. Best I can offer to tell you my first impression of you. How's that sound? I gots good internet now, so it should work. Thumbsup

I wanna meet both of ya on skype.

DO IT CHEAP, YOU WILL GIVE YOUR SKYPE NAME
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KNEEL BEFORE ELK!

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20-09-2013, 05:37 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 05:26 AM)ELK12695 Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 04:30 AM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  You, me, skype and your server. Best I can offer to tell you my first impression of you. How's that sound? I gots good internet now, so it should work. Thumbsup

I wanna meet both of ya on skype.

DO IT CHEAP, YOU WILL GIVE YOUR SKYPE NAME
[Image: kneel-before-zod-o.gif]
KNEEL BEFORE ELK!

Uhm...

[Image: angry-no-l.png]

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20-09-2013, 05:40 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
(20-09-2013 05:37 AM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  
(20-09-2013 05:26 AM)ELK12695 Wrote:  I wanna meet both of ya on skype.

DO IT CHEAP, YOU WILL GIVE YOUR SKYPE NAME
[Image: kneel-before-zod-o.gif]
KNEEL BEFORE ELK!

Uhm...

[Image: angry-no-l.png]





And sorry for going off topic, I'll stop now.

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20-09-2013, 06:05 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
I agree that you need to find people you share an interest/hobby/past time with.

There are several junctions in life where you will find that a lot of the people you know have moved on to other activities - business, children and such. Happens to everyone.

Depending on your life style and opportunity to meet people, these vacant spots will fill up quickly or slowly.

The best way to speed it up is to join people with specific interests, so you have a basis for building relationships.

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20-09-2013, 06:10 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
Since we're on a website talking about this, maybe a good route would be to go on a meetup website. And make sure not to join "singles" meetups. Awkward...

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20-09-2013, 08:24 AM
RE: Not sure why I suck with this friends thing.
You are that hang gliding, astrophoto, Porsche guy Derek, right?

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